I'm BACK!!! Well, maybe not entirely, but mostly.
Thank you ALL for the wonderful encouragement, love and hope as I return to the homestead. I got home yesterday afternoon to a house full of men (husband and son) plus way too many cats and itinerant racoons trying to sneak into the dining room...
I believe that sometimes I have to have life nearly snatched away to really appreciate what I've got.
This time it only FELT like life was being snatched away. I had big chest pain, 7/10, that wasn't responding to my usual protocol of nitro spray, patches, dilaudid and oxazepam. I got a helicopter ride into Seattle (we flew past the Blue Angels as we headed for the helipad!) then settled in for a six night stay, lots of meds, med changes and tests.
I had yet another "it's not your heart" coronary angiogram, another stress echo, regular echo and far too many blood tests. My last IV took 10 attempts!!!
So, the upshot is that my microvascular disease is raising its ugly head once more. My wonderful cardiologist/internist/pain doc team has me back on plavix,has adjusted my antianginals (diltiazem, Imdur, nitro), upped my pain meds, in addition to tons of encouragement and kindness.
The Big House was HORRIBLE-- mostly because of cuts in budget to the kitchen-- I know you can all imagine what this means... My heartsister, Thankful, came in with REAL food and a lovely visit on my last day. It was SO good to eat well and to have such loving support.
There were also lots of signs of nursing problems at old Swedish Hospital. I called a couple of times because of chest pain and NEVER had anyone respond, dealt with a surly charge nurse, but had only one nurse who didn't believe that I was really having chest pain. What luck!
Really and truly, the folks who made the most difference were my HeartSisters- Yarnkitty and Thankful, and the news of all of you and your well wishes. My husband,son, doctors and a few choice nurses and the two chaplains I saw made up the full complement of support.
I had TWO big PTSD events, and felt that I was clinging to the edge most of the time. It was really remarkable that NO ONE touched me affectionately, except for the chaplains and the doctors, who gave me hugs and held my hands. Eye contact was also in short supply.
I am glad to be alive, sad to have heart disease, glad to have such a loving support system, and am grateful to have a loving home and family to come home to.
Now, to get my legs back beneath me, my heart beating regularly, and the pain under control.
Thankyou, thankyou, thank you all!!!!!