So confused about all of this

My story started 8 days ago. I was cutting grass and my chest started hurting. I thought it was the heat so I went to the hospital, they said it was nothing “anxiety” well then the next day it happen again. I thought it was” anxiety” like I was told so I ignored it and walked it off, after an hour it went away. 3 days went by with me not feeling good. On the third day, the chest pain came back with a vengeance. I had a heart attack!! I had 3 stents out in, I hurt in my chest, it’s tight and I am having flutters. I am scared.. All I have been doing is crying. I am 44 and I don’t know what to do. They put me on 7 different pills. Can anyone please help me? Maybe someone with a similar story.
Thanks

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Heavyheart,

Don't hesitate to go to the emergency room if you feel something is wrong. After my "surprise" 2 stents and 5 new medications, I went to the emergency room 3 times in the first 3 months, every time I was sent home with either low sodium, GERD or anxiety. I just had my two year anniversary and I can tell you it will get better. It took me about 6-9 months to get used to all the new medications, which may also be causing you some of your symptoms. This is a scary time for you and we welcome you to our sorority, that we all wish we never had to join!! :)

Feel free to email me directly if you would like to talk more.

Pattie

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Hey Pattie think you for your input. I would love to join your sorority and talk with you all my real name is Debby and any help any one can give me I would love. I haven't been back the hospital and I have no plans to go back until I just have to. I keep thinking about it I had my grandbaby with me when it happen and I know I could have kills us both I was driving.And I can't get it out of my head. Thank you for talking with me (Debby) (Heavyheart )

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Debby, you are not alone. Many of us share your exact same story and are at different stages of life since a heart attack. It is normal to be anxious so knowing it will come and go may make it easier to cope. I was discharged from the ER after chest discomfort which turned out to be caused by 3 blocked arteries. I am also taking 6 new medications and still trying to process all the different sensations and emotional feelings that overcome me at times. I am still having anxiety attacks 4 mos. after my HA: 2 trips to the ER due to panic attacks, on my 2nd therapist and doing cardio rehab to this day. Your body has gone thru trauma so it is normal that you feel the way you do. Yours stents will correct the blockage and soon you will start feeling a little bit better each day although it probably doesn't seem like it now.

There are no easy remedies or guarantees but I take this opportunity to feel lucky that I've had some 'repairs' done and take each day, one day at a time. Visit the site often, there are so many wonderful people who know exactly what you are going through because we have all shared similar frustrations and fears. We are here for you. Take care of yourself.

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Debby you are sure not alone, I had a heart attack 7 days ago.. no stents artery was too narrow there.. mine came out of no where, no warnings.. no previous pain, just all at once pain in my chest, jaw, teeth, right arm and back. Scary is right!! and yup 7 new meds here too, after 2 1/2 days in the hospital. and yes, I'm also scared I'm going to do something wrong and start it all up again.. I haven't even seen my cardiologist since the hospital, and only saw him for the cath and a couple quick times after that.. and I can't think of questions that fast.. lol. so glad to find that I'm not the only one that is anxious and scared of all this new stuff going on..
hugs, Lin

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Hi Debby!

It's nice to meet you here at the sorority we all wish we never had to join! I had my heart attack at the age of 54, last year on July 27, 2012. Thats the day my world was shattered! Like you I had my grandson with me, although I wasn't driving, my husband was. We had gone out to dinner then shopping and when we took our grandson to Sonic for ice cream thats when it happened. I never in my wildest dreams thought it was a heart attack. I blamed the heat because I have such a hard time with heat, especially anything over 90 out. The hospital was 10 minutes away and it was by grace that it was as we lived 38 miles away.

I was sent to the heart center of a larger hospital where I had two stents placed and sent home the next day. It was all so new to me, I was overwhelmed, didn't and couldn't absorb everything that had just happened. I too had chest pains after, not bad, but still it hurt, especially if I bent down. It took time to adjust to my new life and meds. I cried a lot. Sometimes our meds cause us to experience bouts of crying, other times it's just us mourning or needing to cry over what happened. It's indeed overwhelming and scary. I can tell you from my own experience that I too was scared and cried a lot. I still do. My family just doesn't understand and neither do my friends. I have a very small family and we have drifted away from each other. My two sons have their own lives and families. Having this heart attack has led me to think about things I didn't want to until I was way older. Life kinda hits you square in the face and wakes you up but it doesn't hand you the coffee to go with the hit!

Some of your meds may cause you to cry and for me it was my statin. I'm very sensitive to statins and thats been my problem over the years. I can't tolerate it and so for me it causes muscles aches, pains, depression, and even swelling. I went off the statin a month ago as per my nurse (not nurse practitioner or dr) and feel better than I have in ages. I see the cardiologist I hope soon so maybe I can get some better help there or answers. What has hindered my healing to some degree is my experiences in finding the right doctor and getting into a cardiologist. We moved and so I'm starting over. I want so bad to hop a plane and fly down to Virginia and see my doctor, he was wonderful! I may do that yet or make the 6 hr drive to Boston. Being an advocate for yourself at a time when we are most vulnerable is hard. Thats why I have coffee with all of you here each morning because the love and support have helped me most on my healing journey. It's the sharing of experiences that helps us to know we are not alone. I don't post much, although I read about everything. I'm starting to post more as time goes by.

I wish you well and send you much love and prayers for you on your healing journey Debby. {{Hugs}}

Sid

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Hi Linm and Siduri, its nice to meet yall thank you for everthing you said. I don't post much eather. when this happen to me it changed my life, some for the better and some not. I don't smoke any more after 35 years of doing it and I can't find any food that I like and the meds still mess with me. I have been back to the hospital one time since the heart attack. Its been 3 weeks since it happened and all I was doing was crying, but the dr. put me on some new meds called zolift andit has been working so far. The dr told me to do everthing I always have, so thats what I am trying to do. My family helps me with everthing, some times it make me feel better then some times it makes me crazy. I get mad for no reson and I let them know it. I don't set back any more and let it go. I say what I feel. My chest still hurts alot but i try to ignore it. Some tmes I can but then some times I can't. I can only hope that it will get better and I hope that everone trys to make the best out of each day as i do. I thank god every day I get out of bed and it does make it better. Thank you all for all your kind words please keep writing, it dose help me make it through the day. god bless and all my love DEB

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yes quiting smoking here also after 50 years.. not an easy thing.. and sometimes, no matter how long it's been you get a craving.. and me, I get bitchy lol. or cry.. I quit once before, then started up again.. so stupid.. but at least I know part of my crying is from not smoking.. the other part is my pity party .. Glad the Zoloft seems to be working for you, that's a good thing. And you are lucky to have a family that want to help you.. though it probably does drive you crazy. My son "helps" by peeking at me and glaring, to make sure I'm not smoking.. and keeps yelling, NO SALT.. that's his help.. LOL hee hee,, he's eating no salt also.. heck if I'm making two different meals..
Did you talk to your doctor about the chest pain? what did he say.. does the nitro stuff work on the pain>?? I'm afraid if I have chest pain again I'll freak!!
hang in there..
hugs,

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Well I have never been one to use a lot of salt. And I wont put up with anyone yelling at me and as for the pity party you don't need that. Yes I did talk to him about the pains in my chest he said it would go away he said it was stress thats why he gave me the zoloft. I don't take nitro they gave it to me at the hospital and it worked I realy don't know if it worked on the pain or not but it helps with the heart attack. Don't freak out if you have chest pains do what I did I called my DR and they told me to go to the hospital.I was scared too but there is nothing as bad as the pain of the heart attack if it feels like that then you should know whats going on.my chest pains are nothing like the pain of the attack. and tell your son not to yell at you any more, that don't help you. Unless hes just doing it in a playfull or helpfull way, all that dose is couses anxioty and that can make your chest hurt. Keep writing I think we can help eachother with this lots of love Deb

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Hello ladies - My heart journey began in 2006 - not a heart attack, but Heart Failure due to chronic A-Fib. As I read this discussion thread, and all your emotional turmoil - I just had to respond. I completely relate to all that you are saying, especially the depression, crying all the time, mourning the life you just lost, the fear and anxiety, difficulty getting the meds just right, friends not fully understanding, family help not being exactly what we need..... I actually was so impacted by my own experience, that I changed careers because of it. I became a therapist, and specialize in chronic medical conditions. I'm forming groups for families who have someone that was just diagnosed with a chronic illness.

Your comments here have furthered my resolve to continue in this practice. WomenHeart is a great forum, but we need more "in person" support from our heart sisters - and our families must be educated about how our physical state affects our emotional state. Most of the time - our family and friends are afraid too - and they just don't know how to process it - so it comes off as uncaring, unhelpful, and unbelieving. Its a vicious cycle.

I don't post often here anymore, but like you - when I was first hospitalized, diagnosed and in treatment, I was here a LOT - asking questions, seeking support - looking for someone who just plain "got it"..... Keep it up ladies -

Its so important to take care of ourselves, and understand that some of the tasks we as women do in our daily lives are just no longer relevant or necessary. I found that quiet reflection, even prayer and meditation helped to calm my anxieties. I had to look outside of myself in order to understand that my friends and family were defending their own fears of losing me, by acting out in different ways that weren't really helpful - but they didn't know any better. We want them to get it, but they haven't experienced the physical, emotional, and spiritual trauma that we have, so they don't have anything to relate to - yet, they have their own fears and anxiety about it.

As for the physicians - if they don't have an answer, they'll discount it as "crazy symptoms"...... you know your body better than anyone - and we DO know when something is wrong.... keep pressing forward - be your own advocate - ask for help, and don't be afraid to keep looking for answers and a doctor who will take the time to listen and treat you with respect.....

My heart truly goes out to you wonderful women.....

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Thanks Kogirl 3: You shared a great deal of wisdom and support. Living with heart disease is never easy but knowing others have been there and are survivors is a terrific lift when depression hits. Linn, congratulations on quitting smoking. I did this 25 years ago and also cold turkey and I kept telling myself I would never have to go through this day again. I also became a counted cross stitch fanatic for awhile as it kept my hands and mind busy and I would pick it up whenever I was trying to overcome a craving. I still have one project that was never finished. I guess that was when the task reached success and I no longer needed a distraction. Success lies ahead!

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Goodmorning Debby,

You are not alone, as you can see. I am coming up on a month from when I had my heart attack, one stent - LAD. Scary as all get out and the emotional rollercoaster I am on now is so time consuming. I am finding it easier to deal with when I share how I am feeling, but then at any given moment, the tears flow. I am not feeling sorry for myself, I don't think...I've never said "why me", because now I realize why me. I have a problem getting out of my own head....thinking if i eat the wrong thing, if i (accidentally) hollar at someone, if God forbid, I eat out and the food is salted, or worse...when will the next one hit? will it be worse? will it be life ending. This is all too much to handle at times. My insurance company has offered a behavior and transition (therapist?) which starts this week. Wish it had started my first night home from the hospital. A cardiologist that I had never seen before, but part of the practice that followed me in the hospital and did my stent, put me back to work -- too soon, for sure, and here I sit...recognizing that no one addressed a telephone call, an email, fax, etc. in 25 days. Needless to say, I can't afford anymore to give them my all. When I stop and think I was in such tremendous pain that morning, not knowing/understanding what was happening and I was driving to this god-forsaken hell-hole that is my job...for what, really? Every time I think of being in a car...what damage I could have done not only to me, but to others. What if I had been in a remote area? on a bridge at an opening? with my grandbabe in the car? Stinking thinking...but thinking nonetheless, and it doesn't go away that easily.

I am trying to get used to the various medications. Something makes me gaggy, and something I'm sure causes the tears. One is so large, it's hard to swallow. The others I just take because i was told if I don't, ...... When I bend over , I get lightheaded. I have no real taste for food. My mouth is dry and I'm constantly tired - whether I do nothing or try to do anything. I still get little flutters or pings. My right arm, where they went through to put in the stent, kills -- it's my "mouse" hand and unfortunately with my job, I'm a slave to the computer. My body looks as if I am abused with all the bruising...just the lightest bang into something and whammo, out pops a bruise. I had an EMG and nerve study the other day and ever place they pinpricked and prodded, is purple.

I found this forum when I first got home from the hospital and it's been a blessing to share and be guided and accepted by those who have the same or similar situations and can offer suggestions, advice or just an ear, and best if all, it's accessible at all hours of the day and night with no wait for a call back or an appointment with a doctor.

The one thing I recognize is that although I might look okay on the outside, I am not right on the inside and people can't or don't recogize that. I have switched cardiologists and see the new one next week. I am also looking into a therapist in conjunction with this other service my insurance company has offered, because I need it. I rather that then add another pill to the all too many I already take in a day. I have a friend that told me that the best way to learn to take care of yourself is to have a traumatic medical event occur in your life. Isn't that the truth!!!! I am still learning to do that, it's not coming to me so easily, especially in the cooking department. Goodbye to all those food items I enjoy. I'm not much for beans/lentils/tofu and I've just about had it with salads. However, I'm still standing, walking and talking and best of all, breathing.

You are supported in your journey Debby. I wish you continued healing.

Mair

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good morning all.. Heavyheart, I think it is a more caring yell than a mad yell.. lol he doesn't know how to cope with illness.. he never has.. so I don't get upset over that.. and everyone needs a pity party once in a while, just don't get stuck there :D Get your sad over with, then move on,.

Kogirl3, what a great career move.. and what a great idea.. thanks so much for your support, and yes I think that more or less we all seem to be having similar fears and thoughts. I don't know if these are unique to women or if men have the same thoughts and fears.. hmm there's a thought.. lol

Pavater, thanks.. still quit, haven't had one in over a week YAY!! For some reason it seems easier than when I've tried to quit before.. maybe it was just scared out of me?? and yes, I have a moment now and then where I'd about kill for a cig. but they don't last too long.. thank goodness!! Cross stitch..ahh.. good idea.. I have stuff for that all tucked away as I couldn't see to do it for a long while.. but, have had cataract surgery on both eyes recently and can now see :D so, I'll have to try that.. that or paint.. haven't been able to see well enough to do that until now either..

Hi MairC, oh yes, the thoughts of if I go off the low salt, low fat. low whatever diet even without knowing it.. or if there is nothing else to eat where I am.. I'll have another attack.. or if there is a twinge I'll get all anxious.. I guess, well, I'm seeing here on this site that this is kind of common... nice to know we are not alone in our feelings and fears..
On your thoughts about when it happened driving, all those things did NOT happen... do don't keep thinking about them, that could drive you nuts, put that part behind you, and concentrate on the things that we can change, the past can not be changed.. (gotta listen to myself :D)
I bruised easily before all the new meds, now people just have to look at me and I pop out in a bruise or bleed, we have a lot of dogs here and puppies, we work for a dog rescue, and I keep getting scratched, boy do those bleed! I look like a bandaid factory.. lol
I think its a good thing you are changing cardiologists, if you don't like the way one treats you, or just don't like them, change.. it's your body he's taking care of, and you need to be able to trust your doctor.
Cooking.. ugh.. I'm so tired of cooking all the time.. and now I get to do more even.. My daughter did give me a great cook book, from the American Heart association, Low Sodium cooking, or something like that.. should be easy to find.. I made the chicken enchiladas the other day and wow.. they were good.. didn't even miss the salt in them, even my son liked them.

have a good day everyone.. and hang in :D
Lin

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This is a terrific thread, and all the replies have been very helpful to me. It's my first day home, and I'm still getting adjusted to the changes that have occurred, and waiting for the ones still yet to occur. I haven't grieved yet; I think I'm still in shock. So happy to have found you women, and am grateful for all the advice and related experiences.

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I am a 42 yr old and I had a heart attack on April 14, 2012. I don't remember mine and it came out of left field, I had CPR done for 25 minutes and shocked 6 times. The oxygen deprivation has messed with my mind a little and I would not say I am fit....I have always had slightly high blood pressure, and slightly high cholesterol (250?), but no one told me I could have a massive heart attack because of it. I am much more educated now though.

I just finished cardiac rehab yesterday and started therapy yesterday too. The emotional impact of what has happened is HUGE! It is more than I ever thought it would or could be. At times I am so tired, discouraged, disappointed in myself and emotionally drained. Then there are times when I am so happy and grateful to be alive and I feel guilty when I start the downward turn. It is SO very frustrating! I am so glad to have found others who have had similar experiences so I am not alone! Thank You!

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you are so lucky you got cardiac rehab.. there is none available where I live, I asked my cardiologist about it and that's what he said, and also that I didn't need it, could do it on my own.. but never mentioned what I should be doing except walking.. well.. would be nice. but my arthritis keeps me from walking much, I do little bits at a time, that's all I can do. We just got a mini horse so I go out and walk her a short distance, and clean her small pen she is in for most of the day, and haul her hay barrel, or whatever you call it out to her.. I figure that is some exercise.. oh yeah, do some grooming on her too, :D gets me out of the house and I have something to talk to while I'm doing it.. lol.. takes me 5 times as long to do that stuff as it does my son, but hey.. it's good for me and I want to do it!!!

Anne, hang in there girl.. sounds like you are doing pretty well, just keep doing what they tell you to do.. and watch the salt! bleh.. I need to do that better, was really really good right at first and now i'm slipping back into old habits.. not a good thing..
and why are you disappointed in yourself?? you didn't ask for this.. it's not all your fault.. don't blame yourself.. you wouldn't blame a friend and say it was her fault if it happened to her.. so be your own friend :) Just do all you can to prevent this from happening again.
hugs, Lin

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Thank You Lin! I think I get disappointed in myself because my recovery is not as fast as I think it should be. I also think I want for it to be like it never happened. I know it can't be that way, but still...you know?! I am glad you have your mini horse! I think it is great that you go out and do those things for it. It is better to be moving I guess. I also have rhuematoid arthritis, so I completely understand that it sometimes hurts too much! I guess we gotta keep pushing on, be stubborn and make it! XO, Anne

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yes, we need to be strong.. and we are! and boy can I be stubborn :D as I said, hang in, do all you can and you will improve.. I feel the same way, I think I'm just now beginning to have a slight bit of energy and a very very slight bit of stamina.. sigh.. yeah, seems to take forever to heal from this doesn't it! I am used to healing from surgery, illness, whatever, fast.. this is not fast.. but we will get there!!!
hugs, Lin

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