Orgasm Redefined

Thankful I discovered this site to check out discussions that I would never have with my friends who have not had PC. It’s even a bit weird talking with my wife on some of these issues. So here’s something I’d like some feedback on. There are a lot of posts on the ED issues and the quality of an erection. But what I’m wondering is if PC recovery has changed how men experience orgasm. I’m using Trimix injections to harden up, but orgasm seems non-existent or very mild. I used to have tremendous climax sensation, almost like a mild seizure. Now it’s more of like a tingling feeling, and very mild. I’m only 6 months out so perhaps it gets stronger as you recover, but just wondering if this is going to be the new normal for an orgasm. Any thoughts?

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Hi Ray... well for starters I am 51 and 14 months post op.. yes.. orgasms will never be the sudden all at once climax sensation you have had in the past.. it was always your bodies signal of ejaculation, which is now gone.. BUT.. hope on the horizon!!! :-) Well at least for myself and others I have talked to.. As your nerves heal...

okay, lets start over here... we ALL heal in different ways and we all progress and have different responses sexually.. so will only talk about what I have experienced, so........... I use viagra to enhance my erections but have had some pretty decent, spur of the moment sex since my surgery. At first I expected that huge, here it is, here I cum explosion, then done experience.. then came the slow, mild tingle you talking about.. She was like???? Did you get off???? :-) but with time I learned to let it come slower and thus with more intensity.. or should say my body learned that one... to be honest?? my orgasims are actually more intense.. not the explosion you speak about in your past, but more deep, longer, slower and more complete.. someone, somewhere, compared it more to a womans climax.. now I have no idea how they know what a woman feels.. LOL but yeah, I totally agree with tath...... it lasts so much longer and more of a full body enjoyment... hell, IDK, maybe I am just excited to actually be having one!!!!! :-) But yes, a learning experience for each of us. but glad to hear you are on track to recovery.. I DO still miss the actual ejaculation experience but with time I am learning to enjoy and learn my body once again.. sex and enjoyment for your partner is far from over, just time to experiment once again.. the biggest thing with myself was not to push that usual moment as I felt I was 'there' but let it come sloooooooower and then the intensity began to increase.... I posted a thread last week about what all women should know about men with PC and it links to an article about the changes in men.. sexually and mentally..... once you both, especially YOU, understand the difference then the sooner you are on the road to a more complete recovery in this regard....

Glad you are here talking about this stuff with those that do understand...... I too never thought I would be, but have learned allot from some great people here.... chris

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Thanks Chris - what was the name of your post so I can read the article?

Ray

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I am wondering about the importance of regaining the ability to have an erection. I had a TURP 15 years ago which ended my ejaculations. Not good but I've learned to live with it. So, I understand that orgasms without an erection are possible and wonder if they are enhanced with an erection or if the importance of the erection is more for the benefit of my wife?

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Yea Arlot...guess that's my question as well. When I have a medically produced erection I still don't feel the orgasm is that terrific, so not sure if it has to do with the erection quality itself, or just the recovery and healing time to restore the nerves.

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http://www.inspire.com/groups/us-too-prostate-cancer/discussion/some-ed-inf ormation-for-your-supporting-other-half/

Here is the link to the post I made... If this doesnt work I will send you the link to the article.. just message me if you need it.. :-)

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You're not alone. Here's my definition of my orgasms since my RP 14 months ago - "ooh....ooh...ooh...Huh???? That's it??? No fireworks - just a pop and it isn't even that loud. I'm also using the Tri-mix injections and they do a great job. I am very thankful for that. I suppose that I will need additional time to heal where things can reconnect down there. Great subject.

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Intensity of orgasm in intact men is dependent on the volume of the ejaculate. With no prostate, that goes to near zero.

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That is too funny! Thanks for the laugh on a serious subject. We'll pray that the 'pop' and fireworks are still to "cum". Ha Ha!

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Maybe I need to phrase my question another way. What is the benefit of spending time and money to achieve an erection? For one who has been living with dry orgasms for many years, I am wondering if my experience -- sensation -- will be any different without an erection. Will artificially created erections using injections, vacuum pumps or medication improve my sensation of orgasm? If not, the only benefit would be for my partner which is a discussion we are having as her enjoyment and our intimacy is crucial to our well-being.

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I have read that there are those who have had the nerve sparing RP and had overcome ED and did not experience the intensity with orgasms as before. I am learning that intercourse is not the same as before the surgery. I can achieve an erection, but mu guess is the dry orgasms are not intense due to the lack of a prostate. The pump and meds are to restore blood to the penis for an erection only. My wife is pleased with my performance, and that matters. However, I'm left out in the cold, so to speak, after all of that "work" - something I'll have to focus on as this is a new experience that I may be forced to live with. I have also experienced the same weak orgasms without a usable erection. I will be visiting my urologist in approx. 2 weeks and will ask him if this will improve over time. He's trained to be more concerned with my PSA and life expectancy than how I am fulfilled. I will return and let you know what more I've found on this subject.

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Yes - agree.... seems the "work" for the erection is more for the partner. Keep us informed puddles of your doc's update....but I'm thinking we're all sensing the answer.

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yep, your urologist worries about recovery from his stand point... mine??? I havent seen him since 6 months post op.. I use my family doc for all my blood test now.. nothing else my surgeon can do for me now... I asked him some questions early about ED recovery and he said.. IDK, guess you find out in a few months or a year from now...... yep, specialist in their trained field but most of the discussion we are having here is up to us!

One question, several have talked about the injections, I for one only use viagra... wondering if there is a difference in the quality of orgasims because of the different treatments???? IDK.. does the shot just make you hard no matter your mental or physical stimulation? Does it stop after you get off? Just wondering how it works and time frame between shot and erection?

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You got it....you give yourself a shot and within 10-15 minutes...Boing... you vary the dose by how hard you want to get. They usually start you off with with lowest possible dose and then you go up in increments depending on hardness. It is not dependent on any stimulation or mood. So no need for foreplay...you are just ready to go. Funny, my insurance paid for it, so I only had to cover my co-pay and get enough supply for about 8 uses. So it's cheaper than viagra. They usually last about 2 hours...at least that's been my experience. They give you the warning....anything lasting over 4 hours go to the ER. My wife is a nurse, so I let her do the honors with the poke. Not real romantic, but as my doc said.... "just tie a ribbon on it and make it fun".

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Thank you puddlesalltheway and everyone else. I look forward to learning more as my surgery date of August 17 draws closer.

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To ksbbq: At first I was using Levitra with little response, then Cialis with better results. There was more "work" involved with the pills. With injections, I need no other meds and little stimulation before intercourse and ready to go in 10 minutes. My MD recommended that I use only the injections before sexual intercourse. He also recommended that I use the injections no more than 3 times/wk. With me there is only a difference in the erection intensity, not the intensity of orgasms :(
Also, with injections, the erections take a while to subside after orgasms, so if you should decide to inject, start out with low dosage or you will need to visit the ER if you're "up" more than 4 hours. I'm terrified of needles, but Tri-mix gets the job done without the wait and the work!

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Best thing for the vacuum pump or injections is a 100% erection without loosing it due to distractions.... After orgasm I still do not loose the erection for a while and can stay "IN" for for my wife's enjoyment.

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interesting... maybe I will ask my doc about the injections.. got me curious now... I do seem to be alot quicker then I was before.. less controlled I guess, more sensitive...... the idea of staying the course even after the O would be nice...... well at least for her AND my 'Man Card' lol One issue I have had from time to time is ready to go, penetration and lose of concentration and firmness gone.... that seems to get less with time.. But my only thought was, for this discussion, was maybe the intensity of my orgasims is related to the fact my whole body has to be engaged before the erection is ready... nerves engaged, brain engaged and after the big O the erection subsides.. usually I can regain that erection after a 15 or 30 rest and then it is ready.. sometimes another quarter pill... then it is ready for the duration!!! just a more natural process for myself.. but will say I had to experiment and went through alot of pills (thankfully insurance pays) and alot of self stimulation, with no real usable erection but in time that seemed to come around... the orgasims though did intensify each time... not sure if it was all just waiting for the healing of all or retraining my body to do what is is supposed to with what it has gone through????

Like I said I have never tried the shots so have no idea of the feeling or any of it.. I know many have used them with great success and only telling all of the path that is working for me concerning the intensity issue that this thread is about... but instant erection? last for 2 hours??? hummmmmmmm???? And you guys are complaining??? LOL

Good luck to all and this IS a great forum for those that are needing real life input to a real life issue.... Chris

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You don't have to have an erection to have an orgasm. Ejaculation is a secondary effect of an orgasm. My orgasms have been more intense since my prostate cancer surgery. Sexual satisfaction is not dependent on having an orgasm. If you concentrate on intimacy and satisfying your partner you will experience a higher level of satisfaction. Relax an enjoy the moment!

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This is a great discussion. Thanks to all. One question I have since surgery is: What does a dry orgasm mean? I seem to be having wet ones. I think it may be urine? Is that what others get? Just a little confused.

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Before I had my RP, the nurse had me to sign a statement giving the surgeon authorization for the procedure. In layman's terms, she told me jokingly that by signing by the "X" that I understand that I cannot have any more babies. I understood the statement, but the subject was never addressed this way. I have general knowledge of anatomy and understand what role the prostate played in my life that I would no longer have. I would no longer produce semen. I also understood that with incontinence, what fluid I would see from then on would be urine. I asked my urologist and he had confirmed it. I am still mild-moderately incontinent and will leak urine into a condom during intercourse-something my wife and I are not too pleased with. So sex is doable but different.

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