Thank you all who gave me such caring advice, I wish we could all meet somehow, what good it would do to have a face to face support group, I am so thankful that someone told me about this site a couple of months ago. You all have great suggestions, I have tried Enebrel and Humeria and had seriously bad reactions to both, I was told that it was highly unusual and that the biologics may not be for me, add to that a fight with my insurance company and no response yet from Abbot about their patient assistance I am in a hard place financially and that affects what I am able to do. I have been through 2 Rhumetologists and ended up at Chapel Hill with a wonderful man who is a teaching dr and who is very proactive, problem is I live 3 houirs from him and it's hard to see him when I get into this place of agony. I did call his office this morning as I belive the psorisis has invaded my insides. this i very emarassing to talk about but I finally told my husband this morning I am so uncomfortable. I also called because I have had approx 8 hours of sleep in the last 4 days, and as soon as I fall asleep I wake up in pain and shaking. The damage to my foot and toes has happened so qickly, I have always had pain with this, but it has been pretty well controlled with the meds I am on, but now I am at a totally new place and I don't wnat to just mask the pain, but I really cannot function right now and I am scared. I know that there are people even on this site that are way worse off then I am, I feel that I have been proactive in my care, but I am also sick of calling doctors, calling insurance and being rejected, my entire life is about this disease. I am also the mother of two beautiful grown daughters and a new grandaughter 9 months old, I want to spend more time with her, I don't want to her to think of me as the "sick" grandma, I don't wnat this to be my life. I think I have fear because my mother committed suicide and some of it was pain related, we are different people, but I now understand some of what she was feeling. I would not want to do that to my family ever as she left me parentless, but I have learned to never judge why someone makes the decisions they make until you have walked in their shoes. Thank you all for being here and being kind enough to reply to me, you are my mental and physical health lifeline right now.