Pregnant in foreign country by local

Okay I've been living in Argentina with my Argentine boyfriend for more than 2 years now. About 2 months ago I wanted to leave him, tried kicking him out of my loft and everything and all he did was cry and get agressive. I would just give up every night after out routine fight and one day realized I was 2 months pregnant. He wanted me to abort but I didn't want to and still don't. He's sometime supportive most times a total ass. Now facing reality I realize that if I stay here and have the baby I will never be able to go back to my home Los Angeles,he does not have a visa and hates the U.S ): He's really selfish and wouldn't ever agree to me going to visit my family with the baby (even told me so). I want to escape and go back to the US without him knowing but feel really guilty taking my baby away from its daddy even though there is no future for us in this country he just focuses on his rock band and barely on me. My family complete supports me going home to finish my studies and live with them. I am 21 (going on 22) and he is 32. ANY ADVICE?!

Edited December 17, 2009 at 4:22 pm

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LEAVE HIM!! What kind of life do you picture having with him after you have a baby? As a mom of three (I'm 25), I can tell you raising babies isn't easy & you need love and support...which doesn't seem like he is capable giving you. It can be hard raising him without a dad, but what kind of a dad do think he would really be? He sounds selfish, immature, and controlling. Trust me, you & your baby will be so much better off with your family!!

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LEAVE HIM NOW.!!!!
DONT WAIT TO HAVE THE BABY AND GET A MISERABILE LIFE FOR YOU AND THE BABY AND WHO KNOWS MAYBE A TRUMATIC AND ABUSE LIFE BY HIM, IF NOW HE DON'T WANT THE BABY MAYBE HE WILL NOT GOINT TO CARE LATER AND YOU DON'T SEE THE NEWS THIS ARE THESE TYPE OF PERSONS THE ABUSE THE KIDS AND WOMENS.
IF YOU GET SUPPORT FROM YOUR FAMILY DON'T WAIT.
IF HE REALY LOVE YOU AND CARE ABOUT THE BABY HE WILL LOOK FOR YOU.
BUT THE BABY NEEDS A FATHER AND LOVE NOT A SELLFISH PERSON NEXT TO HIM.
GOOD LUCK.

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Please get out of there. If you feel that you can make a better life for you and your unborn child back home please do. I am a mother of 2 (I am 20 years old) and because I didn't get out of a relationship like that one fast enough I lost custody of my oldest child (to my mom who lives 3000 miles away and refuses to let me see him). I am now married and have a second child and regret not trying harder for my oldest. Please please please think about your baby put yourself aside and think if that baby had a voice what he or she would ask you to do for him or her. Good luck and please keep us posted. And if you ever need to talk email me at britta.johnson.2009@gmail.com. It is connected to my phone so I will answer anytime day or night.

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LEAVE HIM! He may be the biological father of that baby but it doesn't sound like he'll be the kind of father that baby NEEDS! At 32 he should be more mature than he is but he's not so there's no point in waiting for him to "growup." And later on you might meet someone who loves you AND your baby. If you have that baby in the US, you don't even have to list a father on the birth certificate, that way if the guy ends up wanting to be in the baby's life he'll have to pay for a dna test and back child support, which is probably unlikely by the sounds of it. And if you meet someone new who wants to be that baby's father itd be so much easier for the man to be able to adopt the child. Just some advice for you!

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Thank you all for your responses you really helped me out!! I'm going to buy my ticket for February and leave without notifying him (obviously). I told him i don't love him anymore and he flipped, won't let me move out and he will not move out (can't afford it without MY income since I'm the main source). I feel sad that my baby wont have a father because he is good with kids but he is immature, selfish and will never be able to go to the states or get a job there (zero english and crappy job so visa will be denied) and I here we will end up like his entire family, no money, no home, no car, nothing! And, i know that in the states i could be happy and give my baby everything he will ever want/need and I will be able to finish my 2 years left in college and have a real life, be a rolemodel. Here.. it's impossible.
THANK YOU! I hope it all works out as planned.. my escape plan!

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definately leave and don't give him no way of knowing that your leaving. You never know what kind of crazy man he'll turn out to be. If he does love you he wouldn't put you through half of what you've been through. I am a mother of four children and when i got pregnant with my first child i suddenly became stuck in a very abbusive relationship. Just to stay with the father of my child. was it worth it no. He was also great with other kids but for some reason he was not there for me and his child. my son is now 11 and he remembers all the abbusive his dad did to me. Now happily remarried with my husband and four children . There will be someone out there for you too you just have to focus on your life now before your baby comes. leave and get to your family that has always loved you.

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