My wife's and my divorce will be finalized on December 21. We have been married 35-1/2 years.
My first episode of bipolar disorder was in 1986 and I was hospitalized three times in three months. My second episode was in 1990 and I was hospitalized once. Then, I went for 20 years without any episodes.
At the beginning of 2010, it came back in waves. I was hospitalized twice between February and May.
On June 17, I attempted suicide by overdose. My wife came home from work to find me near death on the living room couch. I was still alive, but barely. She called 911, they got me to the ER and then I was in the ICU. I do not remember any of that. The first thing I remember is waking up in the psych ward.
It was decided for me that when I was discharged on July 4, I would be sent to live with my 86-year old mother out of town.
It was about July 14 that my wife called to tell me that she was filing for divorce. She said that she was there to support me through all of my episodes and hospitalizations but felt that no one was ever there to support her - family, friends or me. She said that the trauma she experienced from finding me near death at my own hand just "drew a line in her soul" from which she could not come back.
I cannot blame her for her decision. All of it had to have been excruciating for her. As we have been going through the divorce process, we have found that there were other issues in our marriage that needed to have been, but were not addressed.
We still profess our love for each other. My wife says (like Jane Fonda said about Ted Turner), "I still love you, but I just cannot live with you." While I guess that is the way it must be, my heart aches for the loss. It is just so sad.
That is why divorce is a death, of sorts, that needs to be grieved.
Your thoughts and comments would be welcomed.