my husband has one lung

My husband had his left lung removed on 9/16/10 at 37. he did three months of chemo, and the doctors are very pleased with the way his right lung expanded, and his scans look great. the problem is he is angry. I try to encourage him. to excercise, and be positive, but I just get you will never understand. I know I won't ever fully understand, but I see my young vibrant husband angry and sad. We have two kids and long lives ahead of us. any suggestions?

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My husband also had his left lung removed May of 2010. He is 65 now. Your husband is so young. I understand his being angry, but he is so fortunate that he could have surgery. My husband gets more sad than angry, but he still tries doing most of what he did before. If your's is anything like mine, asking him to talk to a professional about his feelings is probably out of the question. It's so hard for the spouse. You want to scream "get your act together and be happy you are alive", but that would not help. Just let him know you are there for him, maybe he will start to see the bright side of it.
Cancer sucks!
Joan

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Perhaps he needs some grief counseling? He has lost all chances to have the life that he envisioned and it will forever be a struggle for him to breathe, so that is probably why he is angry. He wants to blame someone for this happening to him, and of course, there is no one. Try to help him find the easiest way to exercise - I don't know if he is healed enough to go swimming, but water helps hold your body up and the water feels good.

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Angry and sad.....I cried for months and there are times I still do. I wish I could get mad. I feel so guilty if I get angry. I went and spoke to a survivor therapist... one who dealt with cancer patients. My family put a lot of effort into getting me to go see someone. Sometimes when you feel know one understands - you have to try to find someone who might. My heart goes out to him and you. Care givers have such a battle. Hugs
Denise

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I had my left lung removed on the 26th March '12. I understand your husband, he is only now, accepting what he has actually gone through.

For me at least, when I was going through all the tests and appointments, I wasnt actually processing what was happening to me.

Only now, there are times I say to myself,"I want my lung back! What the hell just happened to me?! "

Though I know the reality and surgery was the best option, I have a piece of me missing, I will never get it back. That feeling of loss and what comes with it, will never go away.

Be patient, it is tough on the loved one's too, I know.
Your husband will perk up, just keep laughter and positivity around him, without pressure.

take care

Deb

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I am sorry your husband is having such a hard time. I was diagnosed with stage 3b nslc in August 2010 at age 39. It is hard to face cancer at such a young age. Any age of course is hard, but when you have a young family and so many years ahead of you, you can't help but feel that it's just not fair. And I can imagine it's even harder on your husband because he has a family to take care of and provide for. Encourage your husband to take it one day at a time. That is what has gotten me through. Live each day to the fullest. If you can get him to exercise, I believe it will help him tremendously. I will pray that your husband will be able to let the anger go and focus on living. In the meantime, stay strong yourself and just keep loving him.
Take care,
Naomi
http://naomisfaithjournal.blogspot.com/

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really - I have one lung - he needs a dope slap! Get your butt outside and walk, run skip and get back to living - he needs to be here on this forum.....he gets a few minutes to have a "pity party" then he MOVES forward...good lord - he's wasting all this precious time!!!!!!! DOPE SLAP!!!!

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Hi,

I had my right lung removed in June 2008 and even though it is a new different way of living life it is still a good life and I am glad I am here to enjoy each day. I still have my sad days, my angry days, and my days of complaining but like I tell my family and friends at least I am here to be able to complain. Have your husband join us here on Inspire, it really has helped me just knowing that we are not alone and that everything we are thinking or feeling so is everyone else on this site.

I will pray for you and your husband!

God Bless,
Deb

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i had my right lung removed in Oct of 2010. I work as a physical therapist in a major metro hospital. Life is a little different now, but it is still good. 3 hints for him: get exercising and never stop; focus on what you CAN do and not what you can"t, GET ON THIS SITE and rail at people who understand and can support you. "Survivor " is not a spectator sport!!The truth is : it's never about what happened to you. the real story is what you did about it :) All the best to him, (and a dope slap may be in order if he intends to thrive)

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He is normal.

He is way too young to have gone and going through this horrible disease. I speak from experience; I am 43 with lc which was a complete shock as I never smoked and it was diagnosed incidentially.

I can imagine it gets annoying, but maybe picture yourself being a very young mom with breast cancer and losing a breast or two. Would you be mad? Would you be sad? You would most likely be very thankful to be alive, as I am sure your husband is, but do you seriously think you would be happy or thankful to have gone through that? You would have lost a part, or pieces of your body that God or evolution or whatever you believe gave you for a good reason. And you would probably worry you may not live to raise your children; I imagine your husband does and so do I and it is beyond terrifying.

Please try not to be to hard on him. He is no doubt very worried about you and the children, as I am about my three young children.

And maybe there are times where he doesn't feel well but doesn't want to complain.

Cancer sucks.......all of them and you are a wonderful wife for worrying about him!!!

Best of luck,

Lynn

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My husband has his left lung removed at the age of 38. It was Dec. 9, 2008. He was back to work as a mason that spring. Our boys were 3 years old and 6 months. Your husband has got to get moving and live. It is possible to live, and I mean live an active life, with one lung. :)

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Dope slap? Maybe--I know what helped me recover from surgery and what helps me function today. The month before my surgery, my daughter graduated from college and moved back home when she couldn't find a job. It may not have been a formal collaboration, but my wife (a breast cancer survivor) and my daughter worked a lot of "good cop/bad cop" with me. That was a good approach, because some days, I responded better to the gentle touch, and other days, I needed a kick in the behind. My guess is that no one approach works all the time. We wish you well--it's a tough journey. Allan

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It is very tough - my husband had his right lung removed in June 2006 - there wre lots of ups and downs -- he had a met to vertebrae that was radiated - he had also small met to brain that was radiated and he had a ruptured appendix - - but he has been NED since June 2008 - - - I've tried it all - tough love, catering to him etc and nothing really worked but a short stint of medication to help with depression - - - we have young kids and his ups and downs are awful - - - the meds helped him get out moving which is SO SO important - keeps energy up, feels good - - but after he took himself off the meds he became the couch potato the surgeons told him not to become - - - he procrastinates and gets fatigued quickly and it makes life very difficult - - - he does still work and that is the best thing for him - - - but all the drs said you have to exercise, walk etc in order to maintain that normal lifestyle - - somedays I really understand him and most days I really don't !

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