I know I should be further along with my grief. I am. I just can't ignore anniversaries of her death. I miss her and think of her everyday. She was my life and my bff and my love. I have our fur babies to keep me going and know I have a responsibility to them and Mel would be proud that I am taking care of them and myself.
I keep busy, but, she's always there, and will be forever. The pain isn't as strong, but, it too, is still there. A dull, quiet, distant, pain, but, it's still there.
I will to see her as if she's still here. I haven't dreamt about her and realized if I did I would wake up screaming, crying, angry because she is not here. I guess my subconscious is protecting me.
Melva was sensible, funny, reasonable, smart, shrewd, and practical. She and I protected one another and loved one another like we were the only people in the world.
I will be ok. For her.
Love ya'll. Thanks for letting me post.
Much love and gratitude,