I need help

I have been using one drug or another since I was 14. I have been to rehab 9 times, 3 times in jail, 6 in public rehab facilities. Been on crack 14 yrs and and struggling to put it down forever. My boyfriend doesn't want me to go to meeting because in the past relapsed with people I have met there. I have health issues that prevent me from going back to a rehab and he recently lost his leg due to a heart attack and needs me to help him. What do I do?

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