Please pray for me, I am not looking forward to this round....of my lupus

The first time I started posting on here, I was going to a lot of dr. visits, and my specialist trying to figure out what was happening. I ended up in the hospital as you will see from my earlier posts in discussions and journal entries. The problem is that my Lupus flares do not show on the testing, and therefore I do not get help.

I am here again and I already know how this will go down. I am having a flare I know my body.

It started when I was sitting on my computer<not literally ;)~> and I started getting achey, and stiff in my neck, and then I started getting achey in my arms and legs and it feels like someone is sittinfg on my legs. I went to the bedroom to lay down and by the minute I was getting worse.

I called my husband at work and told him I was feeling awful and I wished he could come home. He could not but he stayed on the phone with me. As I started talking to him I started feeling drunk and slurring my words, I was confused and was like silly drunk and as I made my way to the kitchen I started feeling nauseous. I stumbled down the hall like a drunk person and started getting a headache too now, I fell asleep for about 5 or six hours and when I woke up I ate the snack my husband brought home, and my cousin also made me something.

I called my sister who told me that I could be having mini strokes , and I needed to go to the hospital and get it checked out. So I did. I drove myself, the hospital was only a couple blocks away.

They did a ekg, and a blood test and urine test and a cat scan, all these things came back good. However something even weirder happened as I was in the hospital, the phone started ringing as I was laying in the hospital bed and i could not figure out what the noise was? I turned my head and looked straight at the phone but I had no idea it was a phone? I stared at it, thinking what is that noise? maybe it is something telling the nurses to come check on me? and it was not until the nurse came in and said she was sure it was just a fluke basically and as she was summing things up she reached for the phone and said, I'm going to get this....I was like OH! Its a phone. Very delayed reaction, it was not until after she left the room that I thought. WAIT a minute I didnt know that was a phone? that is NOT okay. So I called the nurse, and told them, but still they just said to follow up with my specialist and a neurologist. I will try to however I have zero insurance and to be honest I still am trying to catch up from my last hospital visit and my husbands tumor surgery.

I am going to pray and what ever is Gods will, will be done. Maybe I will get to go to heaven and stay this time, I'm not sure. BUT I know that the difference this time, Is that I am not scared to die, I know I am going to heaven and I know heaven is real. I also know I have been following my calling laid on my heart from God and that my whole family is now closer to God and my 12 nieces and nephews are almost all saved.

If I do go, I am ready and I mean that in a peaceful way not a depressive way. May God guide me and all of you through all we are going through. May he help us through the pain and all the process of trying to get people to hear us.


Candice L. Jones

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