Little Lost

Like any girl I have a guy in my life right now that makes me feel like I'm on the top of the world. He knows my past and accepts it. I showed him the scars from when I used to cut and he kissed them, told me I would never have to feel that low again, and hugged me. When I cry he holds me and listens as I tell him whats wrong. He is a complete gentlemen and at the same time a complete child. Now here's where I need advice. My mother doesn't like him, because in her words, "This family is full of nurturers, which means we think we can change people. Thats why we get stuck with losers." He is currently working for a internet company and is not being payed because his boss is having finance issues. In three months the company should be ok again and he'll make about 2 grand a month. He doesn't have a high school deploma because his mother pulled him out of school after 8th grade, but he is going to start working on getting his GED. He doesn't have a DL or car, since he can walk to everything. Mom hopes nothing is serious, but I just can't help myself. When I hear from him or see him I get a big grin on my face and just relax. This is the first guy I've been 100% me with and he still wants me. Now I've only known him for a month, so maybe it's only puppy love as some call it. Should mom be worried? Should I be more cautious? He hasn't tried anything and he loves hanging out.

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Dear SurroundingHope,
You're seventeen, no one can really tell you what to do, well yes, your mother can. You are beginning to test the waters. This young man knows your past and accepts it, that is wonderful.
A person who "listens" and really listens is special right there. Finding a gentleman is even more important......You are young yet, enjoy the people you meet, who support you, but most of all respect you. People are not meant to be thrown away. Knowing that, you also need to realize (in my opinion) you can't change other people, they will only change when they are uncomfortable with the position they are in, or just plain ready to grow up. Families that nurture? Wish I had one. Not all families that nurture get stuck with losers. Losers are people that are comfortable with who and what they are, drainers, complainers and leeches. They have the potential to make your life miserable. You don't say how old he is. IF the company he is working for is in trouble, there is no promise he will be paid. None. One can work on getting their GED anytime. Is he in the process? Always be cautious.......but don't be afraid to enjoy life! There are a lot of people here who want to see you have a lot going for yourself, SurroundingHope, Live up to your potential young lady.......God Be With You~

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May you always have
A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you.
A sheltering angel,
So nothing can harm you.

~ Irish Blessing

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He is 19 and will be starting his GED come August. I'm so confused.. I've dated people before, but there's just something about him.

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It is very nice that he is the first that you can be 100% you. That is VERY important. This may seem like an odd question but bear with me.........are you looking for a permanent relationship, do you just want to enjoy each others company? I guess it depends on how committed you want to be. Really no need to worry about that one right now! Above all else, I would hate to see your heart broken for any reason, though in real life it does happen and that's pretty much a guarantee. Love and pain kind of go hand in hand, even if it's unintentional. What worries you?

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He says he wants to marry me in the future. its kind of nice to have a guy in my life who actually wants to stick around.

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A month is an insanely short amount of time. I can fully understand why your mom is worried. Hell, I'm 19 and I'd be worried if a guy I met a month ago said he wanted to marry me.

The first stage of all relationships is infatuation. Doesn't mean it isn't real or that it can't become so much more but in reality you did just meet this guy.

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Hi SH,

I think its ok to continue to hang out. Just don't go running off and getting married, you are too young. :)

It is a hard thing to find someone who accepts and loves you for you.
I have dated people with great jobs,$80-$100,000 plus.
Unfortunately i found them to be self absorbed and cruel. I was not accepted for myself.
Love is more important than money.

Now he should not be working for free. It's probably illegal too. He is just being used.
There is no future there.
Is there some member of his family who might be able to counsel him?
Even if he were working for minimum wage at a fast food place.
You'd have money for dates. And he could be pursuing his GED. Great idea by the way. (GED).
I'd encourage him to get out of that situation.

Enjoy life and have fun. No need for you to worry about the future now.
If he wants to marry you, there will be plenty of time after you finish college.
If he's the right one he'll stick around and so will you.

If i had married that young i would be divorced.
You will change and grow so much in your life. Especially in your college years.
Your personality will evolve and you might enjoy dating different types of guys. Who knows?

How lucky you are to have found a supportive and caring boyfriend. :)
Have a great & fun summer.

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Hello,again,Surrounding Hope................

A boyfriend! Oh, how exciting young love can be!!! :) My best thots go out to you &
the young man!!! Take it s-l-o-w. If this love is a true love it WILL stand the test of time.
Believe me. I'm 63 yrs. old & have been married 3 times. The 1st time we were way too
young. He was 18. I was 19. It lasted only 3 yrs. & produced our daughter who was born
with many, many health issues.
My 2nd marriage was the one that should have "stuck". Sadly, it only lasted 8 yrs.
We have a son,together. Unfortunately, he, also, has many problems. But, they
DID make me a grandma!
Now, I've been married for almost 28 yrs. to a business man who is seldom home.
Actually, I don't think he cares to be home. We have no children together.
I was madly in love with only one of my husbands. Things happened too fast & my
life is really screwed up,now. But, I have learned to live with the good.....& the not so hot.

So, Miss Surrounding Hope................take it slow & don't rush into anything you may
live to regret. If your young man IS the'll happen for you. If he isn't.....well,
there are plenty more out there who, I'm sure, would love to love a sweet girl like you.
I will be thinking of you. (((hugs))) from eaglehaslanded

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I'm in no rush. If nothing else I plan to finish college and get a start on my teaching first. which is about 5-6 years. I'm not one who thinks relationships last extensively because everyone in my family is either divorced or not living together. If nothing else this will be another thing to learn from. Thank you all so much. PS; mom doesn't know about the marriage thing, and I plan on waiting before she does so that I can see all sides of him and mom can meet him more then once. I'm afraid my fear of failure in a relationship will cause me to never really want to get married. O.o I'm just hanging in there, but it is nice having him sense everything else likes to put me through hell.

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Can't wait to see the new poetry this will inspire!!

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