Feeling Life's Pressures

I 'm feeling down today, not feeling well at all from fibro & now a bout from diveticulitis; which I've called my GI dr. many times in the past. I would go for a CT-abd & it would show the divertic. Then, my doc treated it with meds. But this time,was different , either she was in bad mood or something,cause she told the tech to tell me go to the ER @ 4:30 PM on a FRI!!!!! Didn't send send me any meds!! Oh well- Tough it out!!Then, I also care for my dad- 91yrs. old.that lives next door -approx. 500ft away. I usually take him food,coffee in the AM. Well, it was raining this Am & me not feeling well I didn't take it- I fell back to sleep! He can fix his oatmeal ok. He told me later he was looking for it. I felt guilty ! He fell 3 wks. ago,& fx pelvis couple of places. He can get around with a cane ok. He's just very sore & painful. I give him Rx pain med@ night. I'm trying to keep him out of the nursing home. But some times i feel so guilty that I haven't done enough. I don't keep up with his house -he's a hoarder & we get into arguments over it. He's stubborn,controlling, & independent. I guess that's good to a point. But sometimes I don't know what to do except turn to the Lord. He's my only hope & in Him do I rest.no matters what happens......Please pray for me........ DiAnn

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I am sorry to hear of all the pressure. I sort of cared for my mom the best I could the last few years she lived. I let her stay in her apartment and took her where she needed to go when she wanted to go. I loved her dearly. But at one point nursing home placement was my last resort. I did not deligt in it but I had no choice because I had to work full time. Back then I was not yet sick. But now that I am sick all the time I know there is no way I could do what I did if I had to do it today.
Please resolve to care for yourself at some point soon. And please don't feel guilty over it.
Debra

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I have and will pray for you. I hope you are feeling better soon, please don't go too long without treatment for that diverticulitis.

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Debra, I appreciate your response. I guess I'll do for my dad as long as I can, until the Lord has me do different. I know me & my sister had to make that very difficult decision 10 yrs. ago with my mom. She passed away 8yrs.ago. My husband is very helpful with my dad, when he's home from work. So that's helped keep the peace more ways than one. God Bless, DiAnn

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Marwood, thank you for your prayers. I appreciate it . Guess I'll call my GI doc Mon am so I can get some relief from this infection. The sooner it's treated the shorter the duration. Oh well try again!! Thanks for your concern about it. God Bless, DiAnn

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prayers upbound for you, DP. you've got a tough row to hoe.

wi11 he drink reheated coffee? i cant touch the stuff, so dont know from persona1 experience-but i know for some peop1e the idea is sacri1ege. but 1ots a1so don't find fresh coffee, coo1ed off quick in the fridge, then nuked as that first morning cup whi1e the fresh pot is brewing too bad. and there's some nukeab1e breakfasts that aren't too horrib1e. fair1y decent, actua11y. good enough for those awfu1 mornings when your energy 1eve1s are non-existent.

just a thought, if it might work for you on those days. tossing out ideas, so to speak. i know a11 too we11 what its 1ike to not be ab1e to get my butt off the couch and do what i want/need to do. the se1f 1oathing of 1etting others down. i figure any effective short cuts we can find tohe1p us function ate worth tria1ing. maybe the ones i shared arent coo1 for you. but hey, you know your own situation best. can you get creative, and find a short cut backup p1an that wi11!

fee1 better soon.

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oh, another thought, FWIW. some docs wi11 go for this-some not. but if you have a recurrent infection prob1ems, 1ike tics, some wi11 go for an agreement 1ike this: they give you one extra script for the usua1 antibiotic, you fi11 it, and keep it unti1 you need it. when you get symptoms you are sure you know are the tics acting up-you start it and ca11 them to 1et them know and make the next avai1ab1e appt.

if you're comfortab1e and wi11ing to try something 1ike this, it might be worth asking. a11 she can say is no. but it might save you the grief of having to wait out a 1ong weekend. ER yikes, with a 1000 do11ar co-pay, i wi11 have to be dead a1ready. its cheaper. my 1ife insurance is a darn sight better than my medica1 bennies. and i work for a hospita1, go figure, right?

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Monty, thank you so much for your response. That was a good idea of the food & all. You're right, I need to do some planning & thinking of what to do, especially when I'm not feeling too good. Well, you sure got me to thinking & that's hard for me to do at times! So it helps to get someone elses view.
God Bless, DP

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DiAnn, Guilt is part of the emotional roller coaster we caregivers ride. There is nothing we really should feel guilty about, especially when it comes to OUR health. Take a look at "Diverticulitis: Causes - Mayo Clinic @ http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/diverticulitis/DS00070/DSECTION=risk-facto rs. I realize you probably have read everything you can about this condition.

This is what I call The Caregiver's Ten Commandments http://www.leezasplace.org/ten_comm.html. It is really 10 commitments caregivers need to make to themselves to be able to be a better caregiver. Read & print them. Post them where you will see them daily. And take note of the 1st commitment . . . PUT YOU OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST! . . . like they tell you to do when you fly.

I hope you are able to get those antibiotics. The problem with diverticulitis is that it can look like cancer during a colonoscopy. So get that colonoscopy when the flareup is over.

Love,
Colette
xoxoxo

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DiAnn,

My dad is 90 years old; is stubborn, controlling and independent, also. He is the first born and so am I. Needless to say we butt heads from time to time.

Skilled nursing home is NOT THE ONLY OPTION open to people of our parents' ages. If Dad is ambulatory (even if with a cane or walker), and can take care of most of his personal needs, ASSISTED LIVING (formerly known as "unskilled nursing) is something to look into.

I moved my sister-in-law to an assisted living facility. She is happier than when she lived with me, and lives and socializes with people who are the same age as she is (79 yrs). Nurses oversee the medication aides who give out SIL's medication. The facility does her laundry. SIL is kept busy by the activities the facility provides (field trips, BINGO, exercising, movies on the community TV to name a few). SIL needs help with baths. Someone needs to make sure she puts on fresh clothes each day , and dispense her medications.

I am not saying "Get rid of Dad." Go by an assisted living facility sometime on your own. Have dinner or super there. Talk to the residents and ask the director to give you a tour of the property. YOU NEED TIME OFF from time to time. Is Dad on Medicaid? Medicaid may pay for senior day care, respite care, or even long term care. You do not know unless you ask. You need time for YOU!

As a former CNA I can safely say that your responsibility to Dad does not end when he enters a facility of any type. The best facilities are the ones where the family makes impromptu visits, and keeps a finger on what is going on with their loved one.

Yes, you are in my prayers. I know you will be guided to make the correct decisions for your father.

Love,
Colette
xoxoxo

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Colette, Thank you so very much first of all, your prayers and then for the wonderful ideas. That was so sweet of you! I sure appreciate them. So, you too have the same independant type of dad!! Well, guess I'm not alone! They sound so much alike. Too bad they could'nt visit awhile. They could probably talk about the good old times! The Lord has a reason for their lives still being here. He has a reason for all of us, if we just keep looking to Him. I just give it all over to Him. God really is so good through it all!!!!.......Thanks again for everything......God bless, DiAnn

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DiAnn,

The Lord has a reason why he put 2 men like our fathers in the same state, also. (Probably to keep the state politicians on their toes?) I did some checking. You and I live about a day's travel away from each other. Is Dad one who was "born & bred" in Texas? My dad brought us to AL from MN when he was transferred to work with the Army Ballistic Missile Command which eventually became NASA in Huntsville, AL. So I am a D*@& Yankee, and proud of it.

I do not do well w/"giving it to God." I will give a problem to Him, and take it back the next morning b/c I woke up with a new plan of attack! Of course I believe (at the time) He gave me the new idea. When I cave in and give the problem back to the Lord, I know it was just me wanting to try one . . . more . . . time to succeed.

Then, humans are like photographs. We develop from the negatives.

Love,
Colette
xoxoxo

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Hey,
Well what a small world we live in, all in the same state! And it doesn't matter where you came from, welcome to Tex!! I'm sure our dads would have a thing or two to tell the politicians! Anyway, what a mess! It stresses me to think about it. Oh well, can't worry about it, got too many other worries. Got to give it to God to take care of......................................God Bless,DiAnn

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