Patience/Anger Help?

I've always been a patient and calm person. I also knew how to control my temper and what I could tolerate.

Ever since finding out my mom has terminal lung cancer I have had a very hard time finding that patience I had before. I find it very difficult to listen to people complaining about the smallest mundane things going on in their lives.

I've also started noticing that I snap at people at work or around me. Most of the time they just did something small to annoy me but I don't have that patience I had before to hold back. I know I shouldn't be treating the people around me like this, but I don't know what to do to eliminate the anger I have inside.

I've tried using physical exercise to reduce it but it hasn't seemed to be working. Does anyone have any suggestions? How do you get through each day?

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you know what? i get that anger and i get that impatience, and i think that is a 'normal' human reaction to this dreadful disease

i havent yet been diagnosed, but next tuesday i am going to loose my middle lobe of my right lung because of a 2.5cm lump. its come as quite a shock, and trying to get things into perspective is really really hard

for my day time job i am a telephone helpline worker for people in mental health crisis. i spend much of my shift hearing from people who want to commit suicide. like everyone else i am human. i have good days and i have bad days. on a good day i can understand and work with my callers, but on a bad day i really dont get why people want to end their life.

i get very angry (but have to work with that anger so that my callers dont get a hint - fortunately the team i work with are the best, and really give me help, support and space) but i still get angry and wonder about the fairness of life. here am i wondering if i will be alive in a year, 2 years 5 years, and desperately wanting to hang on to life and enjoy living, and then i hear from people who want to snuff out their life for 'very little reason'

ohhhhhhhhhhh so judgemental i know, but hey -------- i am human!!!

breathing has been helpful to me. when i find myself getting wound up i focus on breathing exercises. doesnt do the whole job, but really helps

love
rusty
xx

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good 4 you rusty, i wouldent be very good at you re job, it realy, realy,p,,,esme off to hear someone talking about killing theirself, theres to many people that want to live more than anything, that may not have the option,all i can say about these dumbasses is go for it, and if they realy want to die, why tell someone about it?i guess im a little thin on patience also

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Sounds like you might want to see a therapist or maybe join a support group. This journey is just beginning for your mother and the rest of your family, so you have a ways to go yet. If you think about it, these are symptoms of grief you're feeling. Knowing you're mother doesn't have a good prognosis, you're in the process of feeling grief already. You need to learn how to deal with it before it takes control of you. Wishing you the best. Take care, Judy

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Hey this trip is one roller coaster ride with lots of emotions but this is a good place to vent them hope you'll feel better soon and be able to accept the news and lean on other family members for support. Who knows what's ahead just take each day and don't go to far ahead. Geo

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I am sorry and I have been there. Not "just" about my mom's sudden death, but other very very big bad life altering events as well, on top on my own lung cancer.

What you are feeling is Normal!! I am not disagreeing at all with the suggestion of a therapist or support group, and that may help, or it may not right now. It may depend on how you function best. In group settings (do you have lots of social friends) or one on one (few close friends). Do you like to do research? There are lots on online groups that you can either join or just read. When I was looking up grief for death of a mother there are lots of anticipatory grief groups and information out there. People whose parents have a terminal illness that you could read about or communicate with.

This is so new to you. One other very impt thing to mention is that you may want to look up Adrenal Fatigue/Insufficiency. You and your body are in crisis mode right now. That messes with your hormones (all of them). Your flight or fight body mechanism gets all off whack. I had no idea about adrenals when my life started downhill and wish I had. I had never even heard of them. There is a very good book call "Adrenal Fatigue, the 21st century stress syndrome." The reason I am telling you, not because you need one other thing to worry about but.....you want to make sure to take the best care of yourself right now. I'm certainly not saying you "have" this now, but you are probably the most stressed you have even been in your life and you want to stay as healthy as possible, mentally, emotionally and physically. I just let things ride and kept on keeping on and I KNOW that is part of why I got lung cancer at 43....I just know it! All my hormones, all my numbers, my whole self couldn't handle everything.

I sure know what you mean about people worrying about the smallest things. My daughters friends (they are 12) complain, oh they are so bored, oh their mom is so mean, oh they want a new whatever......mine have been taking care of me and the house and their brother since January when I had my surgery and now on chemo. Plus their school of course and their music and their kids stuff. My friend flipped out yesterday while she was talking to me on the phone because her son wrote on her window. An older friend wrote me about how horrible her root canal was. Another....of my she has been "so" sick with cold all year.

I don't think people mean to be so insensitive and I probably was too to people in crisis in the past not realizing, but it is very hard.

One thing I do tell my kids is that everyone goes through bad times and for us we are, and have been, for many years now.

I hope you don't mind this being so long but I feel so bad for you I want to help.

Hugs, Lynn

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