HEALTHY AIR!!!!

MY name is _______. This is my irreproachable, tearful, heroic, heartfelt journey. I’m sharing this journey with everyone I know so I can help my fellow sufferers on their wellness journeys (and to get some significant hits on my website). Did I mention I was on a journey? We are all on journeys. Personal journeys. In fact, I just like saying the word journey. Journey.

I was officially diagnosed with Sarcoidosis (or insert the ailment you have, here) in the summer of 1969 shortly after I single-handedly organized Woodstock in upstate New York. I have always been intrigued by alternative medicine – unless there were cops in the vicinity – so when my horrible evil establishment doctors told me there was NOTHING THEY COULD DO and they LAUGHED IN MY FACE as they KICKED ME OUT OF THEIR DOOR it is totally understandable that I gravitated towards the exacting sciences of alterative natural holistic unicorn medicine and the like.

Now, my whole family died at once at a barbecue from Irreversible Western Medicine Drugs Disorder, so I know first hand how evil the establishment is. It is no secret that doctors and hospitals make money by making people sick on purpose. It’s a conspiracy. The president is in bed with the Chinese and the Republicans in a plot to increase the price of inflatable home doughnut cushions, out of the hands of the common man. Disgraceful.

Oh, I tried a lot of really cool alternatives: I’ve put wax cones in my ear and lit them on fire; I’ve worn magnets in my nostrils to clear my mind; I’ve slept naked on the 6 sacred healing stones... although I have recently lost track of one; I even have a pyramid hat that I keep in my car for when the government spy satellites are transmitting Home Shopping rays. It blocks them thoroughly. But nothing helped my disease that I have that is exactly the one you have. All my tests came back negative and positive – I was doomed. I wrote to all my family to say goodbye... I knew my life was over.

Then, on March 5th, 2009 at 4:56 p.m. I started drinking water from the toilet – just like the great dog spirit does. I found that my symptoms went away and I could start organizing large outdoor rock and roll events again! In fact, the secret was not in the toilet water, it was in the air!

That’s right! It’s totally unbelievable, but once I started breathing in this totally natural air the people down the street were complaining about, I felt better and better and better! I have resisted air before because I heard on the news that air is bad for you, I mean, how in the world could it be good for you? Then I found out that most of the air around us is over processed and all the good nutrients are stripped away in the Nestlé process. It turns out that air is actually a SUPERFOOD, like blueberries and Mentos. So now I have totally natural holistic air. All you need is 4 doses a day. I have patented it and its full of antioxidants and other things that make you live a really long time but not in a bad way. Big pharmaceutical doesn't want you to know you can be HEALED FOR JUST $3.50 x 4 a day!!!!! (Plus shipping and handling) Remember! You can’t get this totally patented UNPROCESSED NATURAL HEALTHY AIR anywhere – we use a secret process in our formula!!!

IN NO TIME I was feeling like superman (even though I’m a woman) and my acne cleared up, my spirits and energy were off the chart – I even signed up for local beat poetry! When I went back to my doctor he said my tests were positive and negative again!!!

I am feeling totally NORMAL for the first time in a long time and I am SHARING THIS DISCOVERY WITH EVERYONE! - It helps all other health issues as well. I just climbed a mountain and swam a lake and ran 45 miles this weekend, and when I think of where I was before, I am totally blown away! I am not trying to sell a cure or anything, but I wouldn’t advertise anything I wouldn’t advertise for myself! Everything I say is proven by my own opinion… just ask me!

Visit my website to learn how my patented HEALTHY AIR can give you more information, or email me directly – OH!! And please, please, PLEASE!!!! Never give up!!! Never Surrender! www.mypatentedhealthyunprocessedair.com

Each zip lock baggie has a couple of ounces or more of my PATENTED HEALTHY UNPROCESSED AIR, its totally invisible to the naked eye, and comes in a six pack in a plain brown envelope for your privacy for only $45 – but wait, I’ll slash that price to $19.95 pls shipping and handling IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 10 MINUTES!

Love and kisses and huggz ((((H)))) Goddess Bless YOU!

Xxxoo _______.
(the Patented Healthy Unprocessed Air girl! C ya!)



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Well, obviously if you’ve read this far, and your brain hasn’t exploded, and you are not trying to figure out why the link above does not work: you know this is all a fake. Unfortunately, this type of snake oil cure/treatment is always trying to worm its way onto this forum and others. Be smart. Be alert. Keep your hand firmly on your wallet.



— My name is theGardener; I have two dogs, a cat, and sarcoidosis.

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