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Hope

scc
  • By scc
  • Posted January 5, 2009 at 10:50 am · 13 replies
  • Shared with the public
0 Recommendations

I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in April 2008, had surgery in Boston followed by 6 chemo treatments and I am fine today. The whole experience just doesn't seem real to me. I am so lucky to have listened to my body and gotten 3 wonderful doctors who were on the same page as me (that is sooooo important). I keep hearing this public service announcement that 1 out of every 4 of us will make it thru. I really stuns me and I can't get this thought out of my mind. I guess I am that I am the 1 in 4 but I am still scared for all of us. This is a terrible statistic. I would love to hear from you and hear your experience. Sandy

Explore topics in this journal entry and replies:

Anxiety Cancer Surgery Counseling Depression Ovarian cancer

13 replies

Jennali

Even my gyn/onc told me to remember I am not a statistic. He said he uses statistics to guide him, but that ultimately, statistics don't mean any thing when it comes down to any ONE individual.

Jennali

Even my gyn/onc told me to remember I am not a statistic. He said he uses statistics to guide him, but that ultimately, statistics don't mean any thing when it comes down to any ONE individual.

Dodie1

We have to have hope since that's all we seem to be able to have.

I'm going to enter the giveaway too.

Take care & God Bless

MaryW

Stats are a real bugger! I remember asking my doc about prognosis in 4/2004 with 3C and suboptimal debulking. The answer was that about 30% made it past 39 months. All I could think of was dying in 3 years!! One nite it suddenly hit me - I could die TOMORROW a car accident and some how that began to get my mind out of the three year trap! Then gradually I got my mind around my being within that 30% to survive! It has not been an easy road because I've never gotten into remission and have had chemo almost continuously. I've had counseling and gradually have moved into the space of realizing I have only this day and this moment to live and to live much more gratefully.

I've now lived 56 months past diagnosis and am grateful for every day. I still hope for a remission and am disappointed every time a chemo stops working. Then I hope for another chemo! I will probably go kicking and screaming when the doc says there is nothing else to do, but I believe I will find the inner strength to deal with that too, just based on all the inner strength I've discovered within so far.

A long winded response to your post, Sandy, but know that you are unique and not a statistic. Yes, I found I had to get away from searching for information and assurances for a while, too. It is very normal for you to be where you are in your thinking, so close to a recent diagnosis. Access whatever counseling you can. The cancer diagnosis is a huge bump in life and we all need someone to lean on at different times of our journey - that is how we discover our own wonderful strong inner being and can live fully. Wishing you a good journey. Mary

cubsmom

Sandy, glad to hear you're doing well. I was diagnosed in May 2008 and also had surgery and 6 cycles of Taxol/Carboplatin. I am currently fine as well, and often forget that I have (had?) cancer. My hair is barely coming back, but I've already colored it as it was coming in almost white. I was cancer-phobic for so long, imagining what would happen "if" I ever got a diagnosis of cancer. Now I know, and the battle hasn't been what I expected. I was lucky enough to go through the Holiday Season as we always do, nothing was different for the sake of my kids (2, 5, 13 and 19). I almost feel guilty that so many of us are suffering and so far, my journey has been easier than I ever imagined. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. In the meantime, I educate everyone I can about the "silent" symptoms, and keep a close eye on my daughter. I wait for a recurrance, but in the meantime, "it really doesn't seem real" to me as well. Let's just keep fighting and someday, hopefully, we will all win.

Keep the fighting spirit, but enjoy sometimes forgetting we have cancer.

Karen

momanderson920

I have decided instead of stats to focus on alternative herbs and healthy nutrition. I google for info on natural things others have tried with success....maitake mushroom extract, essiac tea, ginger tea, antioxidants, etc. These are the things I do have control over, not the statistics. And I try and talk to others who have stayed in remission who are eating and taking things that MAY be part of the reason. And I pray continually for God to take care of me and to guide the scientists and doctors in their work for a cure and better treatments.

junebug54

Statistics can make you crazy so I read them but let it go so I can focus on making my self well one day at a time.

My dx was stage Ic but I was still shocked with the dx as my mom passed from breast ca. So there are more stats to look at and I have to make sure I do not dwell on stats regarding my kids and what may possibly be in there future.

SouthernBelle

I agree with abbaschild, we have to enter the sweepstakes for the $2 million dollar home in sunny California. I am sooo there....

abbaschild

Okay, ladies..let's look to the future....go to www.hgtv.com and enter the sweepstakes to win the $2 million dollar home in sunny California....hey, someone has to win! Why not one of us?! I'm going to enter every day! You can enter every day until the second week in Feb. Just one more thing to look forward to :)

Fireball

My family told me to stop reading and turn the computer off. I was making myself sick with the stats. You can't help it. It's so scarey.

momanderson920

I am a Stage III3C survivor. Had inoperable cancerous periaortic lymph nodes but the chemo brought my CA125 down to 8 and got the cancer according to the PET scan. I am having some symptoms and my last chemo was July 14, 08. I am trying supplements and praying that my next CA125 will not be elevated. It had gone up at my first 3 month checkup to 14. I am praying for research to find either better treatments or a cure. Other cancers have had success so why can't ours. We must keep praying that there is a miracle.

FavoriteAunt

It's a terrible disease and has terrible statistics. I was dx IIIC in Dec. 2000. Had surgery and chemo and was blessed with a 6 year remission, to the amazement of my doctors. I had my first recurrence in Aug. 07, had chemo again, but only got a 10 month remission. I had my second recurrence in Oct. 08 and am now on Doxil and am going for #3 on Thurs (1 treatment every 4 weeks). So far, so good.

I agree with Jennail that knowing the statistics is a double-edged sword. Your sort of have to know, but it can be very depressing. My onc. always tells me not to read statistics because everyone is different, and to enjoy my life. Good advice, but sometimes hard to do. I remember when I was first diagnosed (and very uneducated about ovca) and asked what the survival rate was for my stage - and was shocked when he said 25% with varying circumstances. I thought - he can't be talking about ME. But alot has happened since then and I've become stronger and more determined to beat this and don't want to hear about statistics.

The recurrences are frightening because you can never get control, but I figure the best thing to do is just keep fighting and assume you will win. We just have to take the best care of ourselves and be positive.

Jennali

Sandy, it still seems unreal to me. I am glad to hear someone else has that experience.

I was diagnosed IIIc on November 26, 2007 after optimum debulking surgery. Started chemo...Taxol IV and Cisplatin IP... on January 2, 2008. Sailed through chemo, much to my surprise and gratitude. My first pot chemo CA125 and CT scan were great. I started feeling normal again. My October CA 125 was significantly elevated, so doc sent me for CT scan. Two lymph nodes were slightly enlarged. We waited a month. CA125 doubled. Doc said "We have to assume the cancer is back", words I honestly did not think I would hear after doing so well. I went though a period of intense depression and anxiety, but am back in fighting mode now. I have had one treatment of Doxil and will have on every 28 days. So far, so good.

Being aware of the statistics is a double edged sword. I need to know them in order to take this beast seriously, but sometimes they threaten to put me back into fear mode. I can't afford that. I am reading furiously about supplements that not only are protective of chemo side effects, but seem to augment the benefits. I would say keeping your immune system strong is the best thing you can do right now. That, and enjoy your life, one day at a time.

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