I think we should start a weekly topic that one person starts. Where they share there experience strength and hope with this cancer battle.
Any takers?
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey we are spiritual beings on a human journey.
Your Friend,
Michelle
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I'm new to this community. I've been reading bios.,comments and blogs. My story is one of twistes and turns. One twist is having cancer while my husband had cancer. He died in June. From all that I've read it appears that I'm not the only one with a story within a story. Our lives can be so convoluted and at the same time so similar. It's this similarity I am counting on now. When my husband died I felt like not going on. Who would care? Who would care as much about me as I cared about my husband? This self pity irritates me. Where is my strength now? I was strong during his cancer. Is that why ? It was his cancer and not mine? Oh, the agony of self pity and guilt. I'm still alive and able to feel these emotions. Maybe that is something to appreciate. Maybe just some little steps toward healing is all I need. Just little steps. By the way a weekly topic might be great. I'll see if its a subject I know anything about. Your Friend, cali_granny aka little step
Dear caligranny,
Put away the bat or at least get a smaller one. I think self pity and guilt for having these feeling are things most of us here have felt. At least I know I have. Although I try to be positive and grateful that I am still here, I sometimes feel sorry for myself that I must go through this. I know in my heart there is a reason, a lesson if you will, and that this is part of my journey. I may not always understand why, but I am sure that the things both good and bad that I have been through in my life make me a better person. I know it helps me when I am able to take my experience and share it with someone who is going through the same thing I am going through, or have been through. Although these are normal feelings and there is nothing wrong with feeling them it is better for us not to stay in this place, so much of our healing (in my opinion) depends on our state of mind, and staying positive. I have found that when I list the things I am grateful for it is absolutely impossible to for me to stay in self-pity.
I can not imagine what you are going through in reference to losing your husband. I often think it would be easier for me, because I am the one to go onto the next part of this journey when I die. The ones I worry about are the ones I would be leaving behind. My children, my husband, my grand-children, I worry so much about the pain they will be in. The one thing I know in my heart is that there is a reason you are here. Reasons you may not always understand. I am sure there are people in you life that love and need you. Perhaps you will be able to help someone on this site with your experience, strength, and hope. You have a perspective that few of us have, having lost some one to cancer and then having it yourself. There is no one who can talk and understand what we have been through except someone who has had cancer., and you might (if willing) be able to help some of us understand how we might be able to make it easier for the ones we leave behind. We have a special bond because of this nasty disease, and I hope you will allow us all the opportunity to get to know you .
I hope you find healing, peace and serenity on this journey.
Your New Friend,
Michelle
Thank You Michelle for your words of encouragement. They were most helpful. I am feeling better today. I swear there are dog days. I'm not feeling as many of them, now. Tomorrow I get my staples out and find out about my biopsy's. It was truly good of you to take the time to comment on my comment. As I try to stay optimistic with the people in my life, but sometimes I feel lonely in this.It is good to have a friend that will talk to you even when you are down. Your Friend, cali_granny
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