Starting Over, Jan 2009. The Named Heart

Starting Over, Jan 2009. The Named Heart.

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

Give your heart a name today. Today.

Really think about this one because this happens to be the most important relationship in a woman’s lifespan. It always has been. Many of us won’t get this until heart attack and other cardiac related crises screech life as we know it to an abrupt, intrusive and sometimes devastating standstill. On top of no instruction manual on how to snap out of ‘cardiac crisis stunned’ or how to proceed back towards normalcy from this point on. Truly rude unwelcome events.

Why bother with the exercise of giving your heart a name? By naming your heart, you will be giving it a superbly personalized identity and you will find yourself taking it far more seriously. Maybe even really ‘looking’ at it for the first time. This is a sacred trust relationship. Once named, your heart suddenly becomes an entity you can converse with at any time of day or night. Oddly, we may not even realize what an adversarial stance we have taken with our heart until we name it. Speaking to the Named Heart begins the shift from intensely fearful, outraged, betrayed and angry feelings to the start of badly needed powerful healing connectedness that women need to seek out the most proactive, vigilant care available.

How do we name our heart? When we sit quietly and ‘listen’ with the entire body, images begin to flow through the mind. Maybe many images, many directions tug at you. Wait until the strongest feelings attach themselves to an image. This is your sensing heart making itself known to YOU. Give your heart a name that feels instantly amazing and powerful, maybe even makes you laugh out loud. One that makes your heart expand and swell with wonder every time you think it, utter it. You’ve hit the right chord when you literally feel sensations of movement. Joy radiates pulsations of healing. Calm descends.

From this moment forward we begin to dialogue with Heart on a regular basis and because of this, we finally grasp our amazing little organ is not trying to injure or kill us at all. Turn this deceptive and destructive mindset upside down and a whole new universe begins to unveil. We are able to see a grander, more gratifying picture of what we are currently going through. The female heart has its own ‘little brain’, a collection of approximately 40,000 neurons identical to neurons in the big brain so the two organs can chatter back and forth at rates of speed we can’t even comprehend in a never ending dance solely to keep us alive. Our muscular little heart has been wringing itself endlessly like a jumpy sponge, squeezing out 60,000 miles (YES, oui, da) of blood flow per day! It is even dubbed ‘the unselfish heart’ because it doesn’t simply absorb blood directly from inside the chambers but waits just like every other organ for blood to pump through external coronary arteries feeding the hungry muscles. It has even elegantly evolved protective housing in the form of a dangling fluid filled sac (pericardium) that normally cushions us from feeling the pumping action against the ribcage.

So no, your heart did not intentionally attack. Any number of other forces moved into position or collaborated to create minor and major injuries and crises across time but Heart fights for your life by building astonishing detours around defects, turning dead O2 deprived heart tissue quickly into strong scar tissue that can withstand the enormous pumping pressures and give us extra years. Heart tirelessly pulls every split second trick in its hardworking throbbing repertoire. And it will fight until something prevents it from doing so any longer. It knows no other way.

My heart is the most astoundingly loyal friend I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. It never leaves me. Ever. We are locked in deepest companionable life to the end. So I am so relieved I finally got it that my heart was calling out a name to me. Once that name manifested my entire attitude made a whopping adjustment. Something akin to the North and South magnetic poles flip-flopping. My quirky heart had always been on board. ‘I’ was the unaware entity. Now I listen to my heart with ease and respond gladly to its pulls. It knows things I have no way of knowing so I defer to it. Is it craving winter sunlight? I find a window and stay there while sunshine washes across my face. The heart smiles somewhere in the depths. We are eternal partners. On days I cannot help it I do what I can to at least stay out of its way. It has always tried to stay out of mine.

Give your Heart a name today. You’ll never feel alone again. You never were. You never are.

Happy New Year Everyone! May 2009 be full of wonders for all!

Jaynie

Each month of 2009 a new theme topic will be introduced. Everyone is invited to participate. It requires nothing more than sharing your own thoughts and experiences on the theme topic. Please feel free to introduce your own theme topic suggestions. We need all kinds of voices here. It is important to talk about all the things impacting our lives as women with heart issues. I am posting this under ‘Journal’ because it is my personal perspective. Post your own Starting Over discussion any time throughout this month.

By AndreaA
Posted January 1, 2009 at 8:26 pm
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Jaynie, thanks for a beautiful post. I intend on naming my heart right away - I discovered that "small voice inside" this year and have been astonished at the amazing advice it gives if I just shut up, sit down, be still and listen to it. Great advice - I look forward to reading more from you!

By lkay
Posted January 1, 2009 at 8:31 pm
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Jaynie,
Thanks for a beautiful way to start over this year. Your words truly mean a lot to me and I know I will return to reread your post again.

Lots of love,
Grasshopper

By martzj
Posted January 2, 2009 at 8:37 am
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AndreaA,

That is wonderful that you found 'your small voice' inside. I hope it helps you in many ways from now on.

Best wishes to you for 2009!
Jaynie

By martzj
Posted January 2, 2009 at 8:40 am
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Thanks Laura. You are one of the stalwarts on this site, also dealing with very complicated multiple health issues..........So I am always glad when you check in with some Laura humor and helpful insight.

Hugs, Jaynie

By kareno
Posted January 2, 2009 at 10:40 am
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Thanks Jaynie for once again giving us something "important" to think about. Up until now, I have been quite angry with my heart for having a MI. You have given me quite a lot to think about. I will have to 'listen" to what my heart is saying now and respong accordingly. Now for a name! It will take some time for me to find one that is just perfect. Best to you in 2009. Kareno

By martzj
Posted January 2, 2009 at 11:21 am
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Kareno,

I believe you speak for millions of women....we all have found ourselves very angry at our hearts at some point.

Hope you find an amazing heart name! Yours deserves one! : )

take good care today,
Jaynie

By Rose
Posted January 2, 2009 at 12:21 pm
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Jaynie,

Your words always give me hope and courage. We share many similar health issues so I think I can relate to you easily. I have not named my heart yet. A name pop in my head when I read your post but I am not sure that it the real deal. I will sit and ponder it this weekend.

However, I am begining to hear my heart more clearly.

I am a people pleaser. I go out of my way to make sure everyone is happy. I entertain on a grand scale and am well know for my parties. For example, on Christmas Eve I had 57 people in my husband family and a few friends for dinner, the whole deal, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans ect.. You get the picture. Santa came for the 20 little children under 12 (6 were my grandkids) and a marvelous time was had by all. All that is except me. I was exhausted. My husband helped with all the food prep, but I am the one who did all the shopping and hauling. This doen't include all the gift shopping and wrapping. Then to top matters off my brother-in-law spent the night so I had to cook breakfast in the morning before running to see my grandkids. Then it was time to come home and fix two dishes to take to a party for my family on Christmas night.

I had 10 people for dinner yesterday, New Years Day.

Now while I am doing all of this I am in a great deal of pain from bursitis, rheumatoid arthritis and spinal stenosis. The shots aren't helping.

My heart is telling me I am crazy and in need of scaling back. It is hard to do because we only entertain my husband's whole family twice a year and I don't want to disappoint my husband because he does do a lot for me. My family we see often and the difference is my family always pitches in on food.

I am going to take your words to heart and try to listen to mine more carefully.

Have a wonderfuly New Year and enjoy the pool.

Warm Regards,

Rose

By Hany
Posted January 2, 2009 at 4:23 pm
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Jaynie

Thanks for your suggestions. Its such a lovely idea.
Some say the heart is where the real self is. I wish I could stay in the heart, speak from the heart .But most of the time my head rules and its mostly not what my heart yearns for or feels. I have a name for it now and I would like to share it but I think it is better kept private. Anyway I think its important to live true to my heart and follow my heart and be in my heart.
It is very difficult though because my heart is so weak but my head wants to do more and then I pay for it big time. slowly slowly

best wishes

Hana

By Sister4
Posted January 2, 2009 at 5:13 pm
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Jaynie,

During a meditation seminar at the Mayo Symposium 2007, a nun suggested we give our hearts a name. I named my heart "Helen" at the time, and haven't thought about the name for a while. So thanks for the reminder.

I too, will reread this post.

Thank you.

Sandy

By CJA
Posted January 2, 2009 at 6:06 pm
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My heart is very strong today and I thankful for her journey.

I call my heart, Endeavor, because that is what I must do if I am to stay alive.

I hope to always endeavor to find the path to healthiness, happiness and peaceful living, to do otherwise is counter productive for my survival.

This day and everyday let me endeavor to live to the best of my abilit, going forward into a bright new day, alwaysremembering my past and all that I have already survived.

Best wishes,
CJ

By martzj
Posted January 2, 2009 at 6:43 pm
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Rose,

Good thing I don't live nearby or I might have crashed your party! The food sounds delicious! (smile). My, you did put out quite a sumptuous spread for large amount of people....but feeling the way you do I can relate to what it cost you physically. whew!!! That was a LOT! How nice that you found the energy to see what Santa brought the grandkids : ) (and I imagine you helped Santa quite a bit this year). 20 kids!! THat must have been a noisy, happy circus! I think I long ago gave up hoping to feel good enough to enjoy much of anything, but I try not to miss much anyway.

Drat! I was hoping the 2nd spinal epi would help more than it did. Double drats!!

The perfect name for your heart will come when the time is right. I will be keeping mine private. Other women are open to sharing theirs.

take good care and I hope you have your feet up by now Rose (smile). Promise me you WILL put those feet up early tonight! ho ho

Jaynie

Jaynie

By martzj
Posted January 2, 2009 at 6:53 pm
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Hana,

Keeping your heart name private is a good idea, more like your own personal ally. The weaker my heart is, the more I listen and wait for it to speak to me what is a true priority...what is worth rising and attempting. Funny how the messages from mind and heart can be completely conflicting at times isn't it. In those situations I am careful to wait...as long as it takes....for the heart message.

I baked two large yellow spaghetti squashes and had a blast forking out the 'spaghetti' fibers, then tossing with a little garlic butter, parmesan, freshly chopped green parsley and cracked pepper! A crowd pleaser fer sur : ) Just as filling as real pasta but far healthier.

take care,
Jaynie

By martzj
Posted January 2, 2009 at 6:58 pm
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Sister4,
"During a meditation seminar at the Mayo Symposium 2007, a nun suggested we give our hearts a name."

Wonderful Sandi. I hope this becomes a widespread practice for women and men....and especially children with heart problems.

Have a pleasant evening Sandy and make some time to put those tired shopworn feet up tonight,

Jaynie

By martzj
Posted January 2, 2009 at 7:00 pm
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CJ,

"This day and everyday let me endeavor to live to the best of my ability"

I'm going to borrow this to add to my inspiration collection.

hugs to you,
Jaynie

By kareno
Posted January 3, 2009 at 10:18 am
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I have tried to listen to my heart, but my mind is just too noisey!! I need to find a name and I really tried to get my mind quiet, but I haven't been able to. Any suggestions as to how to be successful? This is such a good idea. Even if it helps me shut my mind down for a while. It is always going round and round. I have trouble staying focused. Kareno

By MMaslek
Posted January 3, 2009 at 1:59 pm
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I think it's a great, beautiful idea to have a relationship with your heart. Naming it gives you almost a respect that you would show another person and you can place it on yourself. People tend to show others much more respect and care than they give themselves. Its really a beautiful idea.

Unfortunately, my mind automatically goes into sarcastic mode when I think about my heart condition (protective mode, I assume). The first thing that came to my mind was, "George, you're pissing me off!!!" I know my heart must be a guy because a woman would never put another women through these kind of headaches. I'm pretty sure if my heart was a separate entity it would be a crabby old guy, like Walter Matthau. That's the face I get. Eventually, George & I will get our divorce and a kinder gentler heart will move into his place (transplant). Until then, he'll keep bitchin' & I'll keep fighting. We really haven't even started looking for our lawyers (not on the list yet) yet so we'll be together for a while carrying on our love hate relationship. I am a twisted individual, I know!!!!

By CJA
Posted January 3, 2009 at 3:46 pm
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Jaynie,

Thanks for the all inspiring thought. Here's hoping that all of your everydays will be the best of your endeavors.
Take care my friend. Happy new year.

Hugs,
CJ

By martzj
Posted January 3, 2009 at 6:23 pm
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MMaslek,
"Unfortunately, my mind automatically goes into sarcastic mode when I think about my heart condition (protective mode, I assume). The first thing that came to my mind was, "George, you're pissing me off!!!" I know my heart must be a guy ..."

hahhahaaa! I'm loving this one MM. Those are great conversations you 'two' are having. It's workin for you now so I wouldn't tamper with it. Too funny!! : )

Take care,
Jaynie

By martzj
Posted January 3, 2009 at 6:48 pm
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Kareno,
"I have tried to listen to my heart, but my mind is just too noisey!! I need to find a name and I really tried to get my mind quiet, but I haven't been able to. Any suggestions as to how to be successful? This is such a good idea. Even if it helps me shut my mind down for a while. It is always going round and round. I have trouble staying focused."

I believe this a HUGE and very common problem for women in general and especially women with post HA damaged hearts. 'Round and round' can mean anything from really overloaded mind to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Anti-anxiety drugs can be enormously helpful with this and female heart patients should be very open with their doctors (all PCPs and specialists) about how much of this incessant anxiety they are enduring. Asking for referral to a therapist can help women come up with a plan.........Anxiety, overwhelm and OCD, depression...all these must have a plan because they are real, just as real as a toothache.

For the 'round and round' incessant nagging thoughts, I love to just grab junk mail paper and write on and on on the backs.....stream of consciousness style....no punctuation...just blah blah blah as fast as I can write...to keep up with the irritating blah blah blah my brain is chattering on and on about. I don't do this every day....just once a week or so when I feel all the stuff starting to pile up in my head. On the days I do 'chatter write', I may need to do it again several time throughout the day. It actually shuts the whining up and then I make sure I get up and do something physical to force myself to shift away from all that 'dwelling' the mind wants to do. A wonderful way to jolt the mind out of its comfort zone is to go somewhere new, take a long stroll where the view is soothing and lovely....that will take you right to the heart.

And of course, there is always the never fail attitude 'gratitude'. Shifting into gratitude is pure heart centered work, with immediate results.

Take care, Jaynie

By kathyemj
Posted January 4, 2009 at 5:39 pm
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Hi Jaynie and all --
This is my favorite discussion and idea of the new year -- I too will name my sick, weakened heart and consider it more gently in this new year.
I have the good fortune of an ICD "guardian angel" on my shoulder this winter, so have so much to be thankful for.
LOVE the suggestions you gave for quieting the voices always competing in your head, Jaynie -- and will begin the stream of consciousness writing tomorrow when I'm back at work -- usually the place where I am most embattled with things I want to say/do vs. what is the best action to take. These are great new steps to take -- thanks for the ideas and suggestions! Thanks new friends - Kathy

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