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I can't seem to get past the depression. Nothing to look forward to. Life span limited. Maybe 7 months and then again maybe two years. I can't seem to do well with limits. The point is my life is to come to an end soon and I know it.What can you possibly do to ease the despair. My terms?? I took a handfull prozac and well that did'nt do much as I am here to write. Try to be hopefull that a miracle cue is around the corner. Been there. Just not sure.
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Exercise Cancer Ativan Meditation Breast cancer Anxiety Prozac Lung cancer Depression
Hi Jam, it's normal to feel depressed with lung cancer. But I do not believe it is a death sentence. Yes lung cancer can kill but there are many veterans here who have had cancer for a very long time - one of my friends who is a Stage 4 and has had lung cancer for 14 years.
There is a great book written by Dr. Rober Buckman called 'Cancer is a Word, Not A Death Sentence.' I truly believe that.
We have to make the best of each day and hope for a better tomorrow. Hope you feel better soon.
Bette
My father's oncology office used to schedule a counselor to meet with my Dad while he was sitting getting his chemo. This is a great way to maximize your time constraints and occupy the endless waiting while you receive chemo. I would try to speak to someone in person. You may find it gives you some hope or relief to help counter the depression. Your psychological needs are just as important as your physical ones.
Also, it sounds that you are feeling powerless. I feel this way, my father is gone. I can no longer care for him, get him a blanket, take him to treatment, etc. I've gotten really active advocating for research dollars and increasing awareness of this disease. It has been LIBERATING AND EMPOWERING. I am putting all of my negative energies and sadneess to work to do something good. It is too late for my father, but it may help some of this board and countless others who haven't been diagnosed yet. If you are well enough, perhaps channeling your energy toward something will make you feel some power over the cancer.
Make a contact soon with someone you can talk to face to face. A counselor is a great resource because it is their job to be objective...sometimes friends and family are too close to the issue to think about what YOU need. A qualified therapist can talk to you about the right medications to help you (and will probably make contact with your medical doctor for you), and help you work through all the questions running through your head. God knows that was my first stop! There is too much going on for you to be expected to deal with this all by yourself!
I know how difficult it is to feel like there is a brick wall in front of you cutting off what was supposed to be the rest of your life. This was probably the biggest hurdle for me to overcome in this journey. It sucks and it's just not fair. But I do live my daily life very differently than I would have without this stupid thing hanging around my neck. And we truly don't know where that wall actually sits...try to hang onto that.
I am so sorry you are feeling these emotions so sharply right now. I hope you can take a deep breath and take control by walking out in the daylight and finding someone to help you out. They are there (and so are we!). Please don't feel alone. We need you here as much as you could ever need us!
Lots of love and my prayers are yours,
Stephanie
As a friend of mine said, "we aren't meant to stay". Everything about life is change. Everything constantly changes from one state to another. I think we are all on a journey that has no end. Life is one stop not the whole cruise. None of us know how long we'll be at this particular stop but we all know we have to leave and go on to whatever is next. I just try to be open to it and realize that I don't have the answers, I only have questions. Maybe some of those questions will be answered at the next stop.
Jam,
First, I think you are very brave. Second, I think you've rec'd a lot of good advice here.....that everyone on Earth is dying.....and to simplify your life by taking one day at a time.
My sister, who died of breast cancer at age 43, found great comfort in a book by Dr. Larry LeShan called Cancer as a Turning Point.
None of us knows what tomorrow brings....look at Tim Russert, thought he was healthy, dying suddenly....look at the clerk in the Walmart, trampled to death by anxious shoppers the day after Thanksgiving.....You are in control. God bless you in making wise decisions and in coping.
Basically, I try to focus on each day's schedule, even when it only involves reading a book or looking to see if the little palmetto bird has returned/ left. Silly, absolutely, but most times it works.
Judy,
Thanks for communicating feelings--it's hard to do sometimes.
Q: do you have friends/relatives who live or work nearby? Do you live alone? (I do, and it can be hard.)
Trying to cope with all this by yourself is just too much. Is it possible you could get a good therapist to help you?
Please keep in touch, and meantime, two hugs from Barbara
Thanks everyone. I have been member of this site for several years. I have a pretty good idea what takes place. I am losing my license for at least 6 months and live in the country. Nothing close. Always have been independent. Brain met is serious as far as I know. I looked up long term survival and not so good. I have been trying to find info with stopping steriods and anti-swelling meds the outcome.I did get a script for activan. I'm sure it helps some. I just got myself down. I'm not a fighter. I need hope and things to look forward to. Not sure how to live.
I am reading a wonderful book by Peter Kreeft :
Love is as Strong as Death. In it he talks about facing death in stages:
1st death as an enemy
2nd death as a stranger
3rd death as a friend
4th death as a mother
5th death as a lover
I thought that reading a book about death would be a morbid experience but it is really helping me cope with thte thought of losing my mom and with facing my own mortality. I am a Christian so of course I know that death is just the beginning and the separation will only be temporary. But still its hard!
Marg is right we all have a terminal illness called life. But as many people on this board have pointed out none of us have an expiration date on us. Right now death is your enemy - so don't give up and keep fighting!- When its time you will be ready and you will see death so differently.
I am praying for you!!!
jam,
We're always taught that we should live today is though it's our last. We just don't practice it. When I was diagnosed with LC, while I did go through a depression stage, once I was able to come to terms with it, I do NOW live one day at a time, and it's actually made my life more simplified. Since I was diagnosed, I've already known two people who have suddenly passed on. None of us knows how much time he or she has left.
If you're not on something that's working on your depression, because the Prozac just doesn't seem to be working, I think you should find something else. Also, I take Ativan, which is just a mild anxiety medication, and it's done wonders for me.
I hope that you feel better and we all pray for you.
I don't understand. How did you get from one brain met to 7 or 20 months? It can't be about the staging because that is about modes of treatment. Where is that prognosis written in stone? No one knows how long any of us has. There are people on this site who were given a short time many years ago.
As for depression. Under the circumstances that is normal and just proves sanity. The trick is to get past it. Exercise, meditation, yoga, chi gong all help with the depression as well as in destroying the monster.
I wonder if you quit taking anti seizure meds if that would swell the brain enough to end things. The last seizure I had was intense. Does anyone know the results? I just like to be in control. My terms but I am not the bravest cookie out there!
I'm praying for you. I don't have any great words that are going to make you feel like fighting, feel like living every day to it's fullest. EXCEPT look to our Heavenly Father. He can lift you up. He can help you through this journey.
Yes, Cancer sucks, it is a death sentence. But you know what, birth is a death sentence. Everyone on the face of the earth is dying! BUT, no one knows when they will die. Try to live every day to it's fullest.
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