Fear I'll Drop Dead

I know this topic has been discussed numerous times but I'm writing to see if it might help.

Since this morning, I've had discomfort on my left side, near the ribs. It isn't constant. Nitro does very little. Antacids help a bit. Xanax helps a bit. But I'm so tired of being afraid all the time and thinking that I'm going to drop dead. Being anxious makes this feeling worse.

How can I tell the difference between angina, gas, having a heart attack and just holding myself too rigidly? I'm so scared. I've said I don't want to die or just survive - I wanted to LIVE. Now I just want to survive.

I've spoken to the dr and a few other medical people and they just say if it gets worse, to go to the hospital. I don't know if I have the nerve to go through this again. You must all be such amazing women to handle what has happened to you - I see it in your writing.

This fear is indescribable to anyone who hasn't experienced it. I see my cardiologist this week and am going to tell her about all this. It seems like all I feel is fear. Hope this doesn't sound like self-pity; I try to be honest.