Dog poop doesn't stick to your shoes.
There's no need to lock the back door because it's frozen shut.
The dogs don't get on the sheets with muddy paws.
There's no need to worry about driving the car because it probably won't start.
You don't have to bathe the kids because the water pipes are frozen.
The house will get warm without electricity because it caught fire when you tried to thaw out the pipes.
If it gets below zero, you can entertain yourself by throwing water in the air and watching it freeze before it hits the ground.
Your nose doesn't run when you go outside. (Warning: It runs like a faucet when you come inside).
You get to buy new furniture because you use the old stuff for fuel in the wood stove when you run out of wood.
You can walk on water.