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My mother had a heart attack about a month ago, she is 77 years old and before this she worked a part-time job. She is very slow to recover, and is weak, mentally she is having trouble thinking, scared to sleep at night, cries for no reason. Was wondering if anyone else has experienced these things and can offer some advice or encouragement. Thanks
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It is all so much part of this awful disease. I can't imagine what your mom is going through at her age as I am only 53. However, I can only guess she is very scared. I'm sure you are too. There is alot of advice and help on this website. If you can find a support system for your mom in your community it would be alot of help to her. Just be there and encourage her to talk about her fears... I was 43 when I had my first heart attack. Ten years later I am still taken on air LOL. A heart attack isn't the end of the road, only the beginning of a new adventure. Make sure your Mom knows that each day is a gift. I have had ten years of gifts. Many here have had a whole lot more. I have had 2 heart attacks, 12 angiograms, 4 stents, and more tests than I will ever be able to pay for LOL.
Day by day a new adventure unfolds. If you or she needs to talk, I have four amazing daughters who can tell of what it is like to have a parent with heart disease and I would be more than happy to share what it is like to have heart disease. Most important, it is not the end of the road... There are tons of young men and women living successfully for many years with this disease. Take care. Diane
Hi Jesus1,
I had two severe heart attacks in 2005 (34 yrs. old then) and it took me a while to build my strength back up. I am a certified mental health therapist and have done research on depression and heart disease. There is a strong link between women with heart disease and depression. I was mildly depressed before my heart attack and then it became moderate with the symptoms you have described above. Many cardiologists don't discuss this with their female patients. I believe what your mother is experiencing is anxiety over what happened. In addition to having heart disease and being female, your mother is considered an "older adult". Research has also shown that the chance for depression and anxiety increases with age. I have been on anti-depressants ever since my heart attack and feel much better. Maybe her doctor can consider prescribing her a mild anti-depressant or sedative. Your mother sounds like she is strong and I am sure she will recover with time. Hope this is helpful.
Sandra
Thanks Diane, My mother has a computer but is not on the internet, perhaps if I could convince her to get on the internet it would help her to talk to other women who have experienced the same and share her feelings. I am really bothered by her lack of appetite. Her mother had a big appetite up until she passed away at 96. Is it just a usual thing after a heart attack. She is overweight. She probably weighs 180 or so.
Thanks Sandra, Your blog was very helpful. She hasn't been back to her heart Doctor yet. I hope he will address her anxiety. Many male doctors sometimes don't understand women. Thanks again.
I am 42 and had 2 stents age 39 and 40. Age 41 brought triple bypass 12/30/07 followed by an inconvenient heart attack 17 days later. I can understand your mother's tears and fears. You doubt yourself, your body and if tomorrow will even come. Everything she is going through is normal. I was and am still overweight (but headed in the right direction finally). Food issues consume me, yet I have little appetite these days. I feel like food has become an enemy. Energy levels very depending on the amount of damage to the heart. Has anyone talked to your mother about cardiac rehab? They offer nutritional counseling and support in many ways. They can help your mother become active again in a medically monitored environment.
Mentally, I have had brain fog due to my bypass. I have heard it can happen after heart attacks. If you get a chance, check out my blog. There is an entry called "How 38 cents can ruin a Day". It relates to how frustrated I have been dealing with little changes in my mental abilities. Encourage your mother to read our stories and possibly join our community. It has been a life saver for many of us and a support system that cannot be beat. You are both in my thoughts and prayers - Dianna
I second what everyone has said, and I can attest to the fact that this is an amazing community of love and support. If your mom can't/won't do the internet thing, local hospitals also have support groups for almost every subject under the sun, you can also go to your local American Heart Association chapter and see what they might have to offer. I strongly suggest you BOTH get support, your mom so she knows she's not alone, that there is life after heart attack, there is hope, she is a survivor not a victim, and for you to help you know what it's like to be on her side of the fence, and to learn how best you might walk with her through this. Watching a parent suffer us a horrible experience, you need support too. There is something unequivically terrifying about having our mortality shoved in our face - remind her every day how much she is loved, that she is not alone, and we'll be here to do whatever we can to help you both get through it.
Praying for you both,
K
Thanks Ladies, I am glad GOD directed me in this path to you. Can I print these replies so I can take them to my mother and let her read them? I am new to this. Have to go to work will check later tonight for more info. Will read your blog too. Thanks, Chris
Another voice of support for cardiac rehab. For me, cardiac rehab was good because of the acceptance and encouragement I encountered from the staff. Their program (knowledge and encouragement) taught me that my actual physical limits are much higher than I thought possible. I won't get there overnight, but I can push on and keep running the race.
It is also important for your mother (or you, if she wants the assistance) to initiate a conversation with her cardiologist and/or primary care doctor about her mental/emotional state. Once I talked to my doctor about my fear and anxiety, we agreed on counseling instead of medication. Since then, she has been diligent about monitoring how I am doing emotionally and spiritually.
Best thing that my cardiologist did for me -- and this was in the ER as he was introducing himself -- was to lay it on the line for me. He told me that I was in a new ballgame now. It didn't matter how I got there, this was the new reality. In this new game, all the medical professionals were on my team, but I was the quarterback. They play the game based on the way that I lead the team. That has given me confidence I needed to be more assertive with doctors concerning ME.
Karla
Hi gracie62 and Jesus 1,
I'm not sure I can offer much help but I had extreme food aversion and such extreme nausea from the night of heart attack (age 41) that I pretty much lived on Ensure Lite for the first year after. It was the only thing that could get past the gag reflex. I was discharged after 5 days in CIC and 'we didn't expect you to make it through the first night', then 2 days in reg room. I was only able to shuffle walk due to massive rock hard hematomas on the left side of my entire body from a loss of consciousness and fall down the stairs. I lived alone and had no nutrition or rehab advice, so I was scared to eat or drink anything...hadn't been given a scrap of info on why I had such a massive HA at 41 and I had always been a careful eater, didn't smoke or drink. Food definitely felt like my enemy because I badly needed real nutrition but my system revulsed whenever I opened the frig door or shuffled round and round the grocery store desparately searching for something that looked like 'food'. Invariably, I came home with Saltines and Ensure only. Food looked like plastic to me. The cardio dr barely glanced at me when I brought this up, just kept writing and said...."your diet is terrible. And you have no reason to be depressed."
That was back in 1996, so I am hoping treatment is more sophisticated now. I still have chronic nausea but I learned over time to distract myself before I eat by turning on the tv. Also, the microwave is a blessing when it comes to cutting way back on nausea inducing lingering food odors. I learned to toss a few bananas, frozen cut fruit chunks, juice and honey into the blender to make cool smoothies. They make it past the gag reflex too. It is all baby steps. Try not to push yourself too hard and please don't buy into the disapproval and lack of information from care providers. It takes whatever it takes for your body to recover. Many other body organs can be affected when during an attack. Just because a dr will only deal with one or two symptoms doesn't mean you only have one or two symptoms. Some of the symptoms may be after effects of the barrage of medications during ER heart attack treatment.
I had to get my 71 year old mother through bypass this winter and it was so hard. I had heard about 'pumphead' and so was better prepared to deal with the nightly wierdness when her thinking got a little goofy. Older heart patients also have a tendency to get a little goofy specifically at night...so I made sure I was on the couch and would wake immediately if she got up and around while she was a little delusional. The worst of that passed after she was taken off night pain meds plus we got her meds cut in half because she weighs a whopping 103 pounds and they had her on truck driver size doses. Gotta be so vigilant. The onset of crying jags was dismaying for me after my HA because it was totally out of character. But HA after effects are not about character....they are about all sorts of enzyme levels trying to reset, a system trying to recover from adrenal overloads. It takes time and wierd things happen. Nobody cries hysterically over a ruptured appendix. Just glad it is gone. Mind felt like it was being squeezed by a giant invisible hand that never wanted to let go. But the heart is so critical and complex and mysterious in the healing time. Be very patient with yourselves, your mothers. We all just have to be a nice as we can to ourselves while we wait for actual female HA research and advanced pre-emptive scanning techniques to emerge. I believe we are on the cusp of a wave of huge technology breakthroughs that will take over the diagnostic part, scan beating hearts non-invasively and within minutes so that to doctors can shift immediately into action. For now, we just have to survive all the 'wait and see', the guessing 'nah, she doesn't fit the profile, too young".
Take good care of yourselves,
martzj
Thanks so much for sharing all your experiences with me. I printed this all to share with my mother. Hope maybe to hook her up to the internet. Reading all this makes me understand what she is going through and have more patience with her. I see GOD has helped you all through all this. That is who we need to turn to first. I hope soon she can be strong enough to return to church and draw strength from her church brothers and sisters. That community of GOD helps in recovery also. Hope to hear more from all of you. Thanks again, and GOD BLESS YOU.
Jesus1,
You have hit a chord with me!!!!! Are there ways for her church brothers and sisters to reach out to her now? They are likely very unsure of what to do, and would be more than willing if given some guidance. Is your mom ready for visits? phone calls? Would cards and notes be better?
In my health crisis, my pride did get in the way of allowing others "in" to provide support. With no in-town family to assist, I had to deal with that quickly (but painfully). And, even in those first days and weeks, I appreciated the courage of my spiritual sisters who would confront their own fear and draw close to me in spite of their own fears. As you already know, the act of reaching out takes a lot of energy and strength too.
I am just a bit younger than your Mother and have had two open heart surgeries and three MI's. She needs to have someone her own age to talk with preferably someone who has had a heart attack and is a female. There are not many support groups around for fems our age so if you think it would be of some use to talk to your mother, I would be happy to do so. There is no question that depression (and in particular in the latter years) is serious and can prevent her from healing properly. It isn't as though she has a multitude of things waiting for her ... she doesn't have young kids to get off to school in the morning, she doesn't have a job where she is irreplaceable, etc. I'm not even certain based on your comments that your father is still alive. So, if you have nothing available as a support group for her, we can start a letter writing campaign. That should help her to focus and put her mind and energy to healing herself and going on with her life. Certainly once she gets through this initial stage, she can help other women in the same boat.
Just visited my mother, one of her problems now is dealing with the zanxex(spelling?). She is taking it to sleep, taking it too late at night and it is all day getting awake. Just now with her she seemed drunk. Speech slurred, couldn't get her balance walking. She lives on the street over from me, and she is alone as Dad passed away 18 years ago. Trying to get her interested in doing something but she just can't get woke up enough. She was a night owl before this happened anyway. Our church family is very small so there is not much hope of people reeaching out to her. These days everyone that is able is working full time and the rest are not able to get out much. In the next few days I am planning on getting her hooked up to the internet so I will definetely appreciate some contact from you nice ladies to encourage her. Another thing I noticed today was swelling in her hands, maybe a small amount in her feet. She had the hand swelling after IVs in the hospital so I assumed it came from that, but that should have corrected by now. Any suggestions or advice on that matter? Thanks Ladies!!
I want to encourage cardiac rehab, too. I am 68 years old, and most of my friends at cardiac rehab were older than me or around my age. There were also some young women there. Besides moving my body, it provided three days a week when I saw someone outside my house, did a little talking, and got personal attention.
One man was blind, and another had to use a walker to do laps, but they did it anyway. The one with a walker was able to get rid of it in a few weeks.
In all, it was a great experience.
Please contact your mothers' doctor about her xanax prescription. Her dosage may be too strong or is it possible that she may be taking an extra pill or 2? Xanax, when used properly should help relieve anxiety and allow you to relax enough to rest. Some people are hyper-sensitive to it and need only take a very, very mild dose. If she is taking it before bed yet she seemed "drunk" with slurred speech and trouble walking the next afternoon, I would be concerned. Xanax should not have that effect if the dosage is correct and the patient is not taking too much. A lot of us use xanax to get through the first few weeks/months to help us sleep with all we have dealt with. I was prescribed 2.5 mg and broke them in half to help me sleep. Using the smallest dose possible is always best. Also, be sure and ask her doctor about her swollen hands and feet. Sometimes this is normal depending on the person, time of year, activity level, etc. However, sometimes it can indicate edema and needs to be watched and her doctor needs to know about it. She is lucky to have you in her corner. You are reaching out for her and staying on top of what is going on with her. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
Dianna
She was prescribed a 2.5 xanax in the beginning, but she said she still woke up at 3 am the exact time she had her heart attack every night in fear, so the Doc. doubled her dosage. I beleive she is super sensitive to it and needs to cut back, but she thinks she needs it to escape the fear and anxiety. There needs to be a happy medium. She can not function like this. She said tonight she would not take one, would you suggest half dose and at what time should she take it to get past her 3 am fears? Thanks for your help. Chris
Hey Jesus 1,
I'm gonna take the opposite tack on this issue and offer that 2.5 mg Xanax is a non problematic amount...and that the relief she is getting from the fear and anxiety during these first few months could be seen as more important than your understandable worry that shen can not function at former levels right now. Xanax is a low side effect medication that is superb at forcing back rising cortisol levels in her system that make her quality of recovery much worse.
Does she have to do anything important during her waking hours beyond simple tasks like eating, bathing? If not, I would relax and let her take it whenever she needs it.....especially during the 2-4am time slot when, truthfully, most heart attacks do occur. It can't hurt and may go a long way to gently helping her transition into life after heart attack. Research is showing that the sooner both anti-anxiety and anti-depressants are administered after heart attack the less chance depressive/anxiety pathways have of getting established from brain to heart. Interrupting the anxiety flow is a good thing to be doing. Her heart will heal faster if she gets the sleep breaks she badly needs.
Hang in there. I know it isn't easy living with this as a caretaker.
martzj
I am not going to argue the pros and cons of any medication or dosages since I am not a medical professional. However, I really feel like you need to contact your mother's doctor and tell them exactly what you have written here about her appearing drunk and having trouble with balance. I do know that some people can be hypersensitive to it and xanax can be extremely addictive even in low doses - you can look this up on line. Coming off of it can be extremely difficult for some people so that is why I am wary.
My husband took it from depression and anxiety related to a serious health issue he had and was exteremly sensitive to it. He was lethargic all the time, even on a minimal dosage. He had to be under a doctors' care to be weaned off it because of the mental effects of stopping the medication. I would not say he became addicted but he was close. He took the medication as prescribed but still had issues that made me wary of it.
Don't get me wrong - it helped me through the first month after my MI. But I only took 1/2 of a 2.5 right before bed and another 1/2 if I awoke in the middle of the night. If I got anxious during the day I would take a 1/2 at a time and limit the times I took it. I think with any medication of this type, the minimum that works for a person is best. Your mothers' doctor is the best person to ask for guidance about this and her situation. Just please do some research on xanax so you know what you are dealing with. It can help a lot but you need to be careful with it. You remain in my thoughts.
Dianna
I agree, you need to call her doc and let them know about the med reactions and the swelling. It may be that she just needs to take the Xanax earlier, you said she was taking it too late, I know I have that problem with sleeping meds if I take them too late, I'm groggy the next day. BUT first, call her doc just to make sure she's not having some sort of reaction to the dose. It's ALWAYS better to be a pest and call the doc than to try and figure out med issues on your own. There may be another issue going on that is presenting as medication response.
Of course we'll be here for her if you hook her up to the internet. You can also continue to email for her and share responses if that works better for her. I know it's hard to be a caregiver, and you're probably exhausted from worry yourself, but you hang in there, and we're here for you too. You might consider calling a local hospital and seeing if they have visiting pastors, someone who could come and chat with her, pray with her.
K
Just returned from the emergency room with my Mother. We decided to take her in and have the swelling checked out. They said she was retaining some fluid and to increase her lasix. Her blood work showed some signs of slight fluid retension. We were there about 4 hours and she improved while we were there in speech slurrying and other signs. I think the zanex is finally wearing off. She could just not function in normal daily things while taking it. One of my fears was she was going to fall and hurt herself. Talk about a day, I worked with 3 other ladies today, one fell at work and broke her ankle, another ended up with me in the emergency room with her mother having a heart attack(placing a stint at this time) and me with my mother. Don't know what is going on, put I think GOD is wanting us to learn something or is it satan trying to get us down? Pray for all of us. Thanks Ladies, Chris
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