simplicity

I have Oprah on right now, mostly as background noise as I catch up on Womenheart and Inspire. Her topic today is about simplifying one's life. She's asking these different families to give up all this stuff, shopping, internet, TV and such for a week. I think it's a rerun. My first thought though was, "Try heart disease. That'll simplify your life." Then I thought of some of the ways my life is now much more simple than it was a mere six months ago.

For instance,
I'm not at all worried about my neighbor's new fence. I'm not even worried about my neighbor.

My cell phone doesn't have a cover. I don't know how to do half of all it can do. I don't care.

I turn off my cell phone whenever I want to.

I pretty much stay out of the middle of the grocery store. You don't have to read labels on foods that don't have them. I know the fat content of chocolate already anyway.

I don't have to think about what I'm going to wear. I've gained so much weight, very few things fit. Most days, a tee shirt'll do anyway.

I no longer talk to or spend time with people who I could never please or do enough for. This has really freed up my calender.

I can listen and not feel the slightest urge to give advice. They would've had to do without my advice if I'd died. No need to encourage any dependancy now.

I can nap when I want to, sleep as late as I want to and go to bed as late or as early as I want to. I have given myself permission to take care of myself. That sounds incredibly simple, but was impossibly difficult for me...until heart disease.

To wake up, see a loving face, hold a loving hand, that's really enough. If I can laugh a little, eat a little, sing a little, that's just icing on the cake.
Heart disease is a complicated thing. But it's made me realize what I want out of life is pretty simple. I want to love. I want to live. That's enough.
How has it simplified your life?
Allie

By gracie62
Posted July 23, 2009 at 5:34 pm
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Oh, Allie - what a wonderful topic!

Here are a few of the ways heart disease simplified my life -

I have less to dust because I got rid of things taking up space. If it didn't really mean something to me or have a specific spot that it fit into, I let it go. (Come to think of it, I did that with some of the people in my life too - you know the frenemies, fair weather friends who disappeared when heart disease appeared, etc).

I became less of a friend to my kids and more of a mother - a mother who is no longer a push over or doormat, a maid or a savior. I love them more than I ever have, but do less for them. And they are still alive and have grown up a little more. Amazing!

I have developed selective hearing. Everyone around me had it anyway, so I joined in.

I have become rubber. Things bounce off of me that would once have sent me into orbit. If I can't change it, it will get taken care of or go away.

I read and don't feel guilty about it.

I laugh and don't care if anyone else around me gets the joke.

I go to the store without makeup sometimes- no one recognizes me without it anyway.

I share secrets with women I have never met who get me more than anyone I know in "real life" does. Thanks Allie and all the ladies in this community!

Dianna

By Rose
Posted July 24, 2009 at 9:23 am
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Allie and Dianna,

What great post. I haven't accomplised getting rid of all the "things" you have but I am trying. I just told my husband that come fall we are going to pretent we are moving and get rid of all the junk we would have to do if we were to put the house on the market. That way in a year or two when we are ready to downsize we won't have as much to do. Your insights have really made my day. Thanks for sharing.

Warm Regards,

Rose

By iowachris
Posted July 24, 2009 at 1:23 pm
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What a great subject - I'm still working on it.

I go to bed early - I wake up late.

I read, get on the computer and just veg most of the day. I walk past the clothes hamper and say to myself maybe tomorrow. (unless my husband leaves a note saying "either buy me some more undies or throw a load in today, please".) Ha!

I clean and cook - but not like I use to. I veg while I'm doing this so my cleaning is just so-so now, and my meals I prepare are frozen , with a side of salad or fruit. And a glass of wine to mellow me out some more.

I too, am throwing on larger tshirts because I'm not losing weight and if I feel chubby - makeup doesn't make me feel any sexier. So, why clog my pores - besides my husband has told me all these years I didn't need any. If he was telling me a little fib then too bad - I don't have to look at my face - he does.

I turn on Oprah, Dr. Phil, The Doctors, or whoever has a grabber of a show so I can veg on that subject.
I watch funny old movies and tear jerkers. Last week I laughed along with "Ma & Pa Kettle" thru 4 back to back movies. Made me feel good. A good cry also makes me feel good but I didn't watch one of those movies last week.

I helped lower my long distance phone bill because I don't call anyone anymore out of town. If they want to know how my health is - let them spend the dime. So far I haven't had many people call. But, that's OK, I already knew that I was the one trying to keep our family or friendship together. If they are not concerned - then I'm not going to be and maybe by next year I can take that money I saved by not calling and take a nice vacation.

No, I'm not on anxiety meds, in deep depression, nor crazy. I'm just slowly learning how to do what people have been telling me for years to do "I'm chilling out". And they don't like it - to bad - I'm really kinda enjoying it.

Chris

By sternum
Posted July 24, 2009 at 2:39 pm
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Wow!!

This is quite a topic; one of those who am I when I am all alone ones.

Well, I have become comfortable in my own skin. I don't concentrate on defects when I look in the mirror. I see a woman of 65 who finally believes in her worth.

I never thought make-up and dressing appropriately would make me feel any more of a woman, so I didn't bother. Now even though my insides are missing parts, have other parts moved around to places they don't belong and in general, a mess, I find that I appreciate my body even more and want to present it in a good light.
I have lost enough weight to bring me to a size 12 from a 20. After almost five years. I am enjoying being a woman again.

Keeping in touch with real friends and family is important to me. We are all aging and in all corners of North America. I bought into a phone plan that has a free long distance program just for that reason. Now I don't have to concern myself about budgeting a call a month or so, and we talk just as if we were visiting.

I've learned to appreciate and be thankful for the steady friends who bring me to church on Sunday, seniors luncheons and our once a month dinners.
I have a male friend who is there always. He calls me to see if I want to go shopping, appointments, grocery shopping and bless him, he even takes me out for dinner at least once a week. I thank God for everyone of these people in my life.

I have saved a mint on gasoline and car insurance the past year. So what if that is balanced out by the high cost of all these meds we take, at least I'm not paying for both.

I am unable to work in our Soup and Sandwich ministry on Saturday's ---- but I know that my granddaughter is still carrying on and is being nurtured by all those wonderful ladies who have known her since she started coming with me years ago.

I may not be able to visit a friend who needs some encouragement, but I can phone them to brighten their day or just listen.

I my not be able to participate in my shooting sports any more, but my new point and shoot digital camera allows me to shoot the highlights of their events for their scrapbooks. And that means I have been able to get back into my first love , photography, and I can play with the print without needing all those chemicals and a dark room.The best of course is that the camera is light weight and photoshop doesn't need a lot of arm movement.

When all is said and done, my life is so much fuller now and what I am doing are the things I love for the people I love. I am always stretching my limits to see just how tight a leash I am on. There are times when the leash chokes me and other times it is my freedom. But one thing is certain I do not want to waste one day of those I have been given.

The first thing I do every day after checking my e-mail is check in with my heart sisters. You keep in awe when I read the things you have to go through and your multiple illnessess. I am humbled and blessed that you allow me to join you. Thank you

Take care and be blessed --- Gloria ---

By chill
Posted July 24, 2009 at 3:10 pm
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Wow! Thanks to all for the wonderful posts...you have really made me think! I really need to slow down and start doing what I want to do...somehow have gotten back into the pleasing others mode...and not really enjoying some of it! I was great after my heart attack, but been back at work too long! Back in same old mindset! You all have awakened me! Thanks.

Rose, I love you idea of the pretend move...I vow to get started on that in the fall. Meanwhile, you all have convinced me to again slow down, stop and smell the roses, do what I want to do! Thank you for that as I really needed it. I have to go to Washington DC all next week...first flight since HA, stents and pacemaker...and the furthest I have been from home...am a bit apprehensive about it but also see as a challenge and something I need to do. Then have to put on a big Conference the second week of August in Branson...then August 15th my have to's are done!!!!! I am honestly looking at retiring...and for the first time in my life, not working and doing what I want to do, enjoy my family and get lots more involved in WomenHeart, etc. It is sounding better every day! I can't wait to be able to sleep til I want to get up...do nothing but read for a day if that is what I want. Of course it will take some getting used to, but it sounds like heaven right now! Thanks for opening my eyes today!

By Kennarina
Posted July 24, 2009 at 8:26 pm
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Love, love, love these posts! Thanks for starting this up...

- I like to be home by 1 pm for my naps each day

- unless it is really something special with people I really want to be spending time with, we say NO to most evening outings in favour of relaxed and early bedtimes instead

- when my aesthetician began to go on and on (and on) about how dry my cuticles were looking at my last pedicure, it occurred to me that cuticles are so far down my priority list now that I think they fell off permanently

- I listen to my friends complain about the horrific stress and craziness and overtime hours at work and just shake my head - because I used to talk that way, too AS IF IT WERE IMPORTANT

- - make-up? what's that?

XOXOXO

PS. Does anybody else catch the irony in OPRAH of all people suggesting that we should all simplify our lives and not buy STUFF and not go shopping and not watch TV (except I suppose for her show?) :-)

http://www.myheartsisters.org

By martzj
Posted July 24, 2009 at 9:16 pm
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hahhahaha. Thanks for the laughs Allie! Jaynie

"I can listen and not feel the slightest urge to give advice. They would've had to do without my advice if I'd died." hahahaha I love gallows humor now : )

By sternum
Posted July 24, 2009 at 9:27 pm
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Kennarina ---

I checked out that letter from heart disease and the answer to it. The answer is the important part isn't it? A great deal of our well being is tied up with our attitude and dwelling on the positive side of this new norm.

Don't think for a second that we ignore the negative side of heart disease though. We work throught the bad whenever it comes to help give us the needed strength and ability to accomplish some of the good we want to do.

I find I go to bed early and get up late. But sometimes I go to bed and am up and down all night long because I can't find a position that will make the pain go away. On those nights I'll toss in a load of laundry or check out what my heart sisters are doing.

I literally shop till I drop and that doesn't take very long. In stores that have soulder high racks, that takes 15 minutes and my arms feel as though they are being rotated off my body.

Yeah so many negatives in our lives. When we can acomplish doing something we love (like sewing) even for a short time, we just have to smile and count it one more small victory. I'll take it every time and then go lie down for a nap. Your web site is beautiful. Thank you

Take care and be blessed --- Gloria ---

By Jamaicanmenuts
Posted July 26, 2009 at 7:40 pm
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What a wonderful topic. I have alot of catching up to do.
I am still at the point of being in the rat race and trying to prepare myself for surgery on the 14th of August.
I look around at this mess of a house and realize I need to ask for help but seem embarrased to do that.
Over 3 years of major fatigue has taken its toll, I don't know where to start.
HA HA I usually start by doing a few small things then taking a 4 hour nap. Yes I am a champion napper.
I no longer beat myself up about it though. Right now it is enough for me to get to work to keep my health insurance. Perhaps I will hire someone to lend a hand. It sure would be nice to come home to a neat non cluttered house.

By MARYCORINNE
Posted July 26, 2009 at 10:14 pm
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Yes what a wonderful topic........
My house is a little messier, their is a constant pile of laundry in some state of cleaning. I am jelous of you stay at home people. I havent found a viable way to leave working behind due to the $$ and medical insurance. But what I do think about while at work, is not to let people and things get to me, because I don't really care if someone is un happy with coming for a root canal. (I work for a dentist) That person should have taken care of their teeth in the first place and they would'nt be getting a root canal !! It's the cold hard truth.
Anyway.... get down to the important things and people in your life and care less about all that running around that helped contribute to the heart issues.
Going to go relax now...smiles heart sisters. :) MaryCorinne

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