Scared

March 1, 2009, I had a heart attack with minimal and minor damage. I'm 47 yrs old and have diabetes 2, high cholesterol and high BP - all of which have been under control for years and I go to the dr's on a constant basis. My family history is full of heart disease.

At the hospital I had to have an angioplasty and had a stent put into a blocked artery. One dr told me I had angina and would need nitro forever but when I left the hospital, the head dr told me that because of the stent I did not need nitro. My cardiologist prescribed nitro but both she and the family dr seem to think that what I feel is anxiety. I KNOW there are times when it is angina. The biggest problem seems to be that angina in women is so difficult to define. Even having the heart attack, I was walking around and talking which is not the stereotype of a person having a heart attack. My daughter, who lives with me, seemed to think I just wanted attention and threatened to call 911 but some instinct told me that something was wrong and that the discomfort I was feeling was more than indigestion so she called 911. The paramedics verified that I was having a heart attack and took me to the hospital where I stayed in the ER because there were no beds in the ICU. I think those paramedics saved me by giving me a clot buster and two sprays of nitro.

I am now afraid to do anything or eat anything because I keep getting conflicting information. When I go to the cardiologist, her secretary is incredibly rude about giving out appointments and when I go to the family dr, she is reluctant to second guess the cardiologist, regarding meds. So I'm left hanging with no answers. Any advice how to try to get past this fear that every feeling I have is a potential heart attack or angina? I can deal with the truth a lot better than I can with dancing around it which is what some drs seem to do.

Also, I am beginning rehab and am nervous about that too since they do an assessment and I'm afraid they'll tell me I'm to sick to even go to rehab. In the past, I have been suicidal and have even attempted suicide but now I realize I don't want to die, I want to live as best I can but the lack of clear answers and the fear of having another heart attack have left me feeling like an invalid.

I don't know if this makes sense or if I'm posting in the right place but I'll give it a try. Just talking to other people who have experienced what having a heart attack is like and what it can do, not only physically but emotionally, will understand what I mean. Hope I've been relatively coherent.

By lonewolf7
Posted June 3, 2009 at 1:37 am
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Binnie - Early in the morning, I could feel pressure going around my chest to my back. Thought it was from sleeping in an uncomfortable position. Antacids didn't help and I felt like that for hours and even slept through it. Finally, I just had a sense that something was wrong and my daughter called 911. The paramedics told me I was having a heart attack. Ironically, in my last physical, everything was fine - my BP, sugar and cholesterol and even the ECG. I had a block in one of my arteries. An echocardiogram and an angiogram, (I had both), might be a good idea. I think you might also be able to have an MRI but am not sure. The angioplasty wasn't fun but they put a stent in my artery. If you think something is wrong - keep pushing them. I don't know why women's heart attack signs are so much different from men.

What I've learned here is that if you think there is something wrong, there probably is. Doctors tend to dismiss those of us who are anxious. Like you, I don't want to just drop dead.

Thank you all for your comments. They have been incredibly helpful.

By Binnie
Posted June 2, 2009 at 7:17 am
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What were yr symptoms of the heart attack? I too have diabetes 2, high BP and high cholesterol and the same age as you. I've have been experiencing throat, neck, jaw, chest, arm pain for over 18 months now. The first time it happened I was sitting at my desk at work and although it was quite painful and made me feel quite strange for about 20 mins, I carried on at work as usual. The second time it happened I took myself up to A&E, where they did an ECG and blood tests, all were normal and told me it was probably oesophagal reflux symptoms and I was discharged. This has now been going on, as I say, for over 18 months. My GP then referred me to have a barium swallow, as he thought I could be experiencing oesophagal spasm - results were normal and showed no reflux. So, what do I do now??? My GP is baffled and wants to give do a full clinical recap and the hospital have suggested possibly to be referred by my GP for an angiogram if symptoms persist. I am still experiencing pain and I am concerned, as I have two daughters age 12 and 14 and I certainly don't want to drop dead in front of them due to the medical profession inadequacy!!

By Karen09
Posted June 2, 2009 at 12:30 am
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I can relate completely. I developed terrible anxiety and panic attacks. There were dozens of times I ended up in the ER thinking it was my heart when it was anxiety. The ER doc (whom I told that I see him more in the middle of the night than his own wife!!) told me that one of the worst co-conditions are panic disorder and heart disease. It can be literally impossible to discern one from the other.

I'm glad you are on anti-anxiety meds and getting counseling. I did the same thing and it really helps alot.

Also, I was sorry to hear you are having a hard time getting real answers from your health care providers. If you aren't being cared for the way you should be, speak up! Make an appt with your cardiologist and go with a list of questions. You are your best advocate! And the more you know and understand, the better you will feel.

And use your counselor. Tell him/her how you are feeling. Keep journaling and keep in touch here too.

It will get better....just have faith!
take care,
Karen

By rapc3217
Posted June 1, 2009 at 8:16 pm
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On 4/13 I also had a mild heart attack. I've been scared and also treated for anxiety. I was feeling like every little feeling my heart would explode or something. I also am 47 years old and never expected this to happen even though there is family history and my stress and lifestyle.

The best thing for me was being in rehab. It will build you up not only physically but also mentally. Going to rehab is the best thing for you. Also if you're not happy with the doctor find one that makes you feel comfortable and welcome to ask questions. I already changed once and found a great cardiologist who treats me care and respect.

I wish you the best and keep writing.

Rebecca

By lonewolf7
Posted June 1, 2009 at 3:34 pm
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Thank you all for responding. Talking and listening to other women's experiences with having a heart attack have helped so much. Doctors are often too busy to answer our questions or address our emotions.

This Thursday I have an "assessment" for rehab and I confess that I'm anxious about it. Your comments have helped with that.

By Kennarina
Posted June 1, 2009 at 9:36 am
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Hello and welcome - you have definitely come to the right place.

Your intense anxiety over every little blip and flutter is very common following a heart attack. We wonder: "Is this something? Is it nothing? Should I call 911 again?" This hyper-vigilance eventually eases, but it should never entirely go away - it's what will save your life if/when you experience another cardiac event. Every paramedic I've talked to since my heart attack has said the same thing: CALL 911! That's what they're there for. They'd rather be called to your home 10 times for a false alarm, rather than NOT be called on that one time when you really need them.

<< "...Even having the heart attack, I was walking around and talking which is not the stereotype of a person having a heart attack...." >>

Wrong, wrong, wrong - it is ENTIRELY typical for women's heart attacks. Good for you for following that very strong gut instinct that told you something was not right. YOU saved your life that day much more than the paramedics giving you nitro and clot busters!! Way to go!!

If you read many of the postings and topics here, you'll find countless examples of exactly this walking-and-talking scenario. What we sometimes call a 'real' heart attack (clutching the chest, falling down, CPR, ambulance, paddles!) is actually sudden cardiac arrest, 75% of which happens to MEN, not women. Women's heart attack symptoms feel much more like yours most of the time.

I too remember being confused when I left hospital after my heart attack carrying a prescription for nitro. Why would I need this? Wasn't I fixed now? The answer is NO! One year later, I'm still needing the occasional nitro spray. That's what it's there for.

I'm sorry to tell you that the 'head doctor' who told you you wouldn't need nitro because of the stent (!?!?!) is an idiot.

Now is an excellent opportunity for you to research, research, research. Become an informed consumer! Find out as much as you can about what happened and why, and what healthy heart-smart lifestyle changes you can make to improve your quality of life and postpone a second cardiac event. You cannot continue to be a helpless victim of your doctor's office staff, waiting for 'answers' from them. You are perfectly capable of finding many answers on your own - after all, that's what brought you here, right? :-)

And you are a woman with at least four very serious heart attack risk factors: diabetes, family history, high BP, high cholesterol and now a fifth: you have had a cardiac event already. This makes it even more important for you to educate yourself about All Things Cardiac.

That's why rehab is going to be so good for you! A woman in my cardiac rehab group could do only two minutes on the treadmill at first! - but by the end of three months she was doing amazingly better. Slow and steady! You're under constant supervision and monitoring there so will be well cared for, plus you get to meet other people in the same boat and learn a lot.

Good luck and please keep us posted!
XOXOXO

http://www.myheartsisters.org

By MMaslek
Posted June 1, 2009 at 7:53 am
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Having a heart attack is scary business!!! It's okay to be nervous about your heart right now. It'll fade as you come to recognize what your new normal is. You may need a bit stronger of an anti-anxiety med to help get you through this rough spot. Sometimes at different points in our lives, we need to adjust our meds to suit the situation. This is a particularly hard situation to adjust to because it affects so much of our lives.

Tell your doctor about his staff. He is ultimately responsible for their behavior. I almost died 2 years ago because my cardio's nurse took it upon herself to diagnose me over the phone & wouldn't tell the doc my symptoms were emergent (after being a patient for 10 years). I found a new doc because if I couldn't get to my doc, what good was he to me?

Rehab will be the best thing for you. They explain nuitrition & a bunch of other things related to your heart. You are monitored while you rehab & if there are problems, they call your cardio & he will listen to them!!! If you fail the assessment then your doctor will do something immediately to get you into better shape so even that is a good thing.

Until you start rehab, remember with your diet, fresh is best, if possible. Good season for fruits & veggies. White meat has less fat than red. A serving size of meat is the size & thickness of your palm. You want to keep the percentage of fat in your diet to under about 25%. Read labels.

Hang in there & Good Luck!!!

By nanamo
Posted June 1, 2009 at 7:23 am
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i believe its how you feel...if you feel comfortable having nitro as a safe guard then so be it so many doctors are quick to dismiss women i have an icd and i still carry nitro i have the spray which i like better then the tablets last klonger and quicker if you ask me i know wheni 1st had my mi in 1999 after that and open heart surgery every lil twitch hurt or pain in my chest i would take nitro in time it will pass and you will know when and if you shoudl take scared we all are and we help each other............... welcome to a wonderful caring site

god bless
surviving heart disease one day at a time
with trigger 04/08
for 10 years now
nanamo

By lvfrogs
Posted June 1, 2009 at 6:44 am
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We have already talked so you know how I feel. Reading your post - I am glad to hear that you are on anti-anxiety meds and also in therapy. Rehab sounds like what you need right now. I have read many posts on here about rehab and they have all been positive. You will find others who will answer this post that can give you information that I can't. Just know that I have also begun this journey, I too get scared, and I will be here for you!
Colleen

By lonewolf7
Posted June 1, 2009 at 6:11 am
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Thank you for responding. I am taking anti-anxiety meds and am also in therapy. After reading your story, I am grateful for your advice.

By heartgoddess
Posted June 1, 2009 at 5:55 am
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Welccome to WomenHeart. You have found a wonderful resource for all of your questions.

Your fears are natural - and with time they will fade. Rehab is the best place for you, you will regain your confidence there. It is unlikely they will tell you that you are too sick - I had a massive MI and quadruple bypass surgery and started rehab three weeks post-op. If anything, they would simply delay your start.

I would suggest talking to your GP about medication for depression and anxiety, it can do a world of good for heart patients.

Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.

Welcome to Inspire!

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