panic while I wait....

• By KebieBear
• Reply 3356685
• September 7, 2012 at 7:17 pm
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Hi Cleverkc ,

You are more frightened because now you know what to expect. For instance people are really bold the first time they experience something, the second time is a different story. Know what I mean. Especially if it was not a pleasant experience. Since the doc is aware of your heart stopping , he is probably more prepared for that event should it reoccur.

Hope that helps.

Regards,

KB

• By cleverkc
• Reply 3356866
• September 7, 2012 at 8:48 pm
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KB,
Sometimes all you need to do is air your fears to someone who is a bit clearer of thought. I might actually sleep tonight.
Thank you so much for your help :o)
cKc

• By KebieBear
• Reply 3356890 · In reply to 3356866 by cleverkc
• September 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm
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You are most welcome, glad it was of help.

Regards,

KB

• By Pavater
• Reply 3358764
• September 8, 2012 at 3:03 pm
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Remember the first cath was done after you suffered and MI. I would think that figured greatly in the reason why your heart stopped and it might well have done so if you had not been undergoing a cath. If anything not good is going to happen, you will certainly be in the right place for prompt treatment. Not easy to relax because of our fear of what might be, but think how lucky you will be to find the problem this time and correct it prior to having an MI. We will be praying for you. Do you have access to Ativan to lessen your anxiety? Ask your Dr. for help with the panic attacks.

• By cleverkc
• Reply 3359099
• September 8, 2012 at 5:42 pm
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It never occurred to me to ask my cardiologist. I assumed that I could not take any other meds while on (Gasp*) Heart meds. My history was clear that I have issues with anxiety. I never even take meds for my sore knees because they DC'd my Alieve at the hospital. I read on here now that not only is it okay, but the norm! I am not sure what my next step will be, calling the cardiologist or waiting to find a GP that will see me. Any suggestions?

• By Pavater
• Reply 3359210 · In reply to 3359099 by cleverkc
• September 8, 2012 at 6:38 pm
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Your GP can handle this if he is familiar with your problems, but you can call Cardiologist's nurse and ask her opinion. She may be able to get the prescription for you.

• By cleverkc
• Reply 3359303
• September 8, 2012 at 7:32 pm
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I will call her first thing Monday morning. I just don't know how it will go over since I have always said "I'm fine". I have to get through Sunday first. Sundays are so hard for me now. I imagine that I should just say, you know when I said I was fine....I lied.

• By newlife47
• Reply 3359362
• September 8, 2012 at 8:04 pm
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I agree with Pavatar. My heart stopped during my first angiogram before my CABG the next morning. The dye that's inserted into the aorta near the heart can affect the SA node which starts each heart beat and "knock it out" temporarily. That's what happened to me. I've had 20 subsequent caths with no problems. My heart rate was irritable after that stoppage though, and it still is a little weird after each of the caths I've had. So maybe the prior MI kinda set you up for that stoppage.
Anything you can do to keep your peace is a good thing...music, meditation, talking, deep breathing, prayer, whatever works for you is a good thing. I know from lots of personal experience that I can make my heart rate speed up, vary, can even cause PVC's and PAC's if I get anxious enough. None of that stuff need be serious but it feels awful.

• By MaryLG
• Reply 3360542 · In reply to 3359099 by cleverkc
• September 9, 2012 at 10:43 am
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Hi Clever,

The only experience I have is an uncle who had Alz (in a facility and now passed) and I have microvascular heart disease. I had thoughts as you wrote this and your other post. (See #6 below first, OK?)

I know now, with HD, I would not be able to manage taking care of anyone. If anything, I kind of need coddling, and my husband does that. HD is not a small thing. Yes, you're young. Yes, you worked professionally in hospice, but clearly, your heart is saying you have a serious issue. If you had a widowmaker that required a stent, then you had some serious (life or death) occlusion - and that's just in the large vessels. If you're experiencing new symptoms, then easily, there can be another problem, cause if you had that much occlusion at 49, you sound like you have either genetic predisposition for high cholesterol, or you have eaten poorly during your life. Being a woman, I would suspect that you DO have genetic issues with cholesterol. This is not to be taken lightly. If you have anxiety, it CAN just be anxiety, but don't pooh-pooh. Discerning HD from anxiety is not easy, so don't just medicate yourself away from concern..take action, which it sounds like you are.

People who are caretakers usually have a great love and duty to others. They will put other's needs above their own. It's possible, after your marriage, you not only love your parents but also feel a very strong duty to them. I don't know if you have mixed feelings ~ people often do. I'm probably suspecting that you feel that you'd do anything for your parents - and that if you die in the line of this duty and love, well, you did all you could. But what would that do for your parents if you died suddenly? Yes, it wouldn't be your fault then, would it? You'd be gone and you wouldn't have to decide what happens to them or feel guilty about it. They couldn't blame you in their lucid moments, when they are having them.

I saw what happened to my uncle when his wife died on very short notice, of cancer. The life she kept going for him had to stop...instantly. We had to search in an emergency to find care for him and within 3-7 days, he was relocated to an alzheimer's facility. I don't know what happens if someone does not have the resources to go to one of the "nice" facilities. He was very distressed and disoriented, and he didn't know what happened. Very confused. Very distraught. Kept asking for his wife. It was heartbreaking. I suspect that for your parents, AT LEAST if they were in a care home TOGETHER, it would make the transition so much easier. I have some suggestions:

1) AFTER you are checked out and NOT in an urgent/emergency situation, talk with the social worker at the hospital and find out what will happen or what can be done re: your parents. Someone needs to know their situation. Do they have a "regular" social worker? They should. Do they have the resources for care privately - like an alzheimer care home?

2) BOTH situations might be incredibly hard on you - caring for them or if you didn't make it - having to decide that they need more care than you can responsibly provide. I know it's hard to contemplate this and it will be difficult, and you may want their support, agreement and approval, but it will be the RESPONSIBLE and LOVING thing to do, to make sure they are set up well now, before their needs increase even more. Think of it this way, it will happen if you die. The only thing you escape by dying is making the decisions and the guilt and possible pain of that. For some people, that's a good argument for ignoring things and sort of managing by denial. But I suspect you in shock, and the denial is starting to fade.

3) Call the Alzheimer association if you haven't already. Talk to one of the extremely compassionate people there who man the phones and who have been or are in your same situation. They know which are the best facilities, and options etc. Talk it over with someone.

4) Make sure there are advanced directives in place. My uncle who had pneumonia a couple of times in the last couple of years, did not have a DNR. (Do not resuscitate or graduated decision trees, such as "save him from choking, but don't do extreme things in the hospital if it's somewhat inevitable. There are a whole range of options, but I'm sure as a hospice person, you knew all about that, right?). People often inhale some food and develop pneumonia. His legal guardian was on the east coast, and he was in the hospital. I was visiting and they wanted to put a tube down his throat and he was struggling. it was to determine the cause of the pneumonia. He was in restraints. I ordered the medical student/intern to not put the tube in. (they wanted to do it to diagnose his pneumonia between food or bacterial pneumonia). I said just give him the antibiotics and if they work, they work. If they don't, they don't. Don't make him suffer to keep him alive by doing awful tests. Treat as painlessly as comfortable, keep him comfortable and let nature take it's course. (pneumonia used to be called "The Old Man's Friend", as it's a painless way to go). So hopefully, their directives do not say "do everything to keep someone alive", because when you have Alzheimers, it puts you through a lot of stuff that there is no point in doing if there is little quality of life when you can't remember anything - unless by being alive TOGETHER is each helping the other.

5) I hope your directives, decision-makers and legal papers are done, too. If you were to die or become incapacitated, who will take over?

6) I think IT'S OK TO DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO TO STAY ALIVE. It's the responsible thing, the loving thing, for yourself and for your parents, as you can then be around to help. By that, I mean visit and not primary duty. I realize you may not feel there is much future for you? Or maybe that your future IS taking care of them. If so and that's how you want it, that's OK - but put the back up plan in place (and a RESPITE PLAN) so you can have time off. Too heavy of a load for a person with your HD.

7) Your 24/7 care of two alzheimers parents is too much pressure for you, in my opinion. It would be for me. You may have made promises or commitments, but did you factor in life-threatening conditions for you when you made that promise? Guilt is a tough one and that alone can kill you, so if you can, talk with a therapist ASAP (www.psychologytoday.com - the find a therapist search tool).

8) Short Primer on anxiety meds: Any of them can cause respiratory depression. If you have a sleep issue with snoring, apnea, etc. This can be a big concern and you should be cautious. Can make you sleepy which is good - and bad if you are on duty for an alzheimer's patient. I personally don't want to get sleepy during the day. Be aware of this. And of course, don't mix with alcohol.

Valium: The first generation of benzos: 50/50 muscle relaxation/anxiety relief. With each generation, the pill changed and became more oriented to relieving anxiety and less to muscle. The pills are not equivalent in dosage, strength and half-life in the body. The half-life in the body is different, so some take a long time to clear the body, some take less. That makes some more addictive than others. With Valium, you will feel physically more floppy. I take smidgens of anything I take, cause I'm a lightweight. I have used a TINY bit of valium due to back issues (but I don't mix with other benzos..and I let it clear from my body before switching over to a different category)

Ativan: The second generation. Less muscle, more anxiety relief. 2nd longest lasting in the body.

Xanax/Aprazolam: Fast acting, primarily for anxiety and wears off 4-6 hours. I used to use xanax till my MD told me that the next drug down would give me longer coverage - all day. So I changed. Probably the most addictive of all of them.

Klonopin/Clonazepam: Formulated to be a 12 hour anxiety med. (I take 1/2 or 3/4 of the smallest tablet (not the disolving wafer). That helps both my HD and anxiety. I only use it during the day.

(Some MDs suggest taking it at night, and letting the 1/2 life carry you through the day. I also have a C-Pap machine for apnea, so I don't worry about breathing issues. That said, my dose is miniscule, but my sleep/breathing issues exist with or without drugs.)

CleverCK, I hope some of these thoughts help you and don't scare you. You need some help. I hope you seek it and find it. I am so glad you are posting on WH...

Big hugs ~ xoxo Mary