Looking for Support and understanding

• By Jamaicanmenuts
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 4:00 am
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Many of us who have a strong family history of heart disease have lost a parent or both at a young age.
In 1970 when my 51 yr old Mother died, medicine was not nearly advanced as it is NOW.
It is easy to lose sight of that when you have a child to care for and worry and worry and worry.
Some things we cannot control. But I would urge you to cultivate and open and honest relationship with your Doctors. You and the Doctors want the same thing . Try to believe that as a fair starting point.
You have come to the right place and I wish you well.

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• By nanamo
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 7:19 am
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welcome,
sit back relax and enjoy
you found a greta site and here we all help and are for one another i haev been living with chf for 10 years this month does it get easy it all depends on how you take the disease and you either control it or it controls you my life is just that MT LIFE not my disease life i live iwth and icd have sicne march of 08 we call trigger to help prevent sudden cardiac death ....... oct 20 makes 10 years heart attack and oct 22 makes 10 years open heart suregry and i was 32 when it all happened............ i used to hate oct but i have gotten use to it now and thankfull to be alive towatch my kids grow up and see my granddaughter who is 2 live life enjoy life make memories and keep going

once again welcome heart sister


god bless
surviving heart disease one day at a time
with trigger 04/08
for 10 years
nana mo

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• By WillowBark
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 9:27 am
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Dear Patricia, You and I are the same age, 48. I had a heart attack four months ago, and have heart damage from it. I can relate to your anger, depression and weight struggles. "Why me?" is not uncommon, and for me I think it was/is a phase on the way to a stronger place. I look at mean people and say "Why me? I try so hard to do good on this planet!" I forgive myself for being human and not having super-human selfless spirituality. Perfectionism and hard core self-critisism is probably not good medicine for my heart.

I allow myself to feel the ugly feelings so that I can more easily let them go. I have to forgive myself for not having a chrystal ball, not seeing this train coming straight at me, and having it knock my life in the teeth so hard that four months later I'm still crying...though a little less.

I'm trying to work out everyday, even if I just consistently gently dance to the radio for 20 minutes. I'm writing down exactly what I eat (people lose 50% more weight when they right it all down, so I'm told) and I hold on to a mustard seed of hope that if I woke up today, I'm not done. I'm not a Christian, but the tiny mustard seed of hope works for me. Hope that tiny, and I just might make it through another day.

Your ejection fraction is around 40%? Mine was between 25-30% 3 months ago, now it's between 35-40%...I think dancing to the radio helped. I have a bad back too. I've had two back surguries. I have learned I can even dance in a chair...move my arms, tap my feet, even sing along, I figure anything that makes me breathe is good.

I am pulling for you Patricia. I believe in you. Don't give up. Being on this site is a great start. You are not alone.

Peace and Hugs...... :)

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• By susiebell
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 9:55 am
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coming to this site really helps me deal with my disease. I thought it's unusual for a young person to deal with heart disease. But I guess I was wrong. Heart disease can attack any age. My best advice is take one day at time. You will have good days and sometimes you will have bad days. Follow a great diet, exercise and don't' let this disease defeat you...

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• By goingstrong
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 10:18 am
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Your story is all to familiar. I lost my mom with a sudden MI at age 55. So I started being evaluated in my late 30's. Yes, I developed CAD, and yes, I had a bypass, and yes, I have stents, and YES, I'm on lots of medicine. But I'm 10 years older than Mom was when she died!

I do hope you are being treated for your depression as it often accompanies heart disease. In fact, there is some thinking that it can be a PREcursor to heart disease! I too have had a life long battle with weight and depression.

One day at a time, trust your docs.... and if you don't....get a new one! For sure! And keep o coming here. It's a resource that is unparalleled!

Lynn

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• By happy2bealive
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 10:30 am
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You need to understand that what you are feeling is normal and your feelings will come and go--expect that. Many on this site are dealing with the same issues and are dealing with the issues alone--without a husband or partner. Please know that any time night or day you can express yourself here without fear of reprisal. It is one day at a time girl friend. If you dwell on the future too much or your family genetic pool for heart disease it will overwhelm you and you will miss out on today. I don't know what it is about weight but I think with us women the sorrow about weight gain goes real deep. Try to focus on small steps and don't be so hard on yourself. You might want to check into a support group so you have somewhere to share your pain. Anger---turn it into a blessing--you are still alive to get angry. But then let it go. It raises our B/P and deprives us of real joy. Finally after months of frustration, I set up a chart, at the advice of my psychologist on things that were important and not important in my life--things I could solve and those I could do nothing about. It really helped me grasp perception and reality. Know that you have friends here. I wish there was some way we could get together for coffee(yes I still drink it)! Try to have a good day. It will get better...and let that 11 year old spur you on while he wears you out at the same time(ha).

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• By NoDayButToday
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 11:25 am
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Hi Patricia,

You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I'm in a very similar situation to yours, having been diagnosed with CHF 3 1/2 months ago at the age of 44. I struggle with all the emotions you mentioned, and more. It's a scary condition to have, but we can be strong and learn to live with it.

The thing that has helped me, along with this wonderful site, has been to learn as much as possible about the disease. Knowledge is power, right? For example, when I was first diagnosed, my ejection fraction was 20%. That scared me to death, because I thought it meant my heart was only functioning at 20% of its capacity. Actually, though, a healthy heart has an ejection fraction of around 60%, so it wasn't as bad as I was thinking.

I went for my 3 month check up last week, and my EF is now 35%, so your doctor is right that it's possible to see improvement. Both the doctor and the lady who did my echo were extremely surprised to see an increase that big, especially given the fact that I'm on very small doses of Coreg and Lisinopril because of low blood pressure. He feels quite confident that I'll improve even more when I'm up to the full dose of both drugs. So, see? There IS hope!

I wish you the best in learning to deal with your "new normal" as we all seem to call it. Please know that we are all here for you.

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• By Asurvivor
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 2:45 pm
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Anger is a big emotion for heart patients. I was angry for years at letting myself ignore signs, ignoring family history, not being told I had high cholesterol and just angry in general, with anyone who would look at me!

I hope this too has passed. My EF was 40% after my bypass surgery. It's now around 45%. CHF can be treated with diet and medication. It's not the death sentence it once was.

Enjoy your son. 72 years old is not a magic number, but if you let it stick in your head, it will become that number. My husband always said he would die before he reached 60. He told me this at age 30. He died at 59. That became his magic number and it came true. Not saying it will for you, but the more you dwell on something, the more it seems to happen. My sister died at 54 from pancreatic cancer. She told me time and time again she would not live to see my son graduate from high school. She didn't. That number stuck in my head (54) and at 54 I had a coronary that led to my being brought back from beyond.

So please, don't think about the date or the age or why your sisters don't have what you do. Just think about getting well and staying well. You can do it. It's called the Power of Positive Thinking. Also, don't forget to tell your doctor your depression meds aren't working well. Maybe he can put you on something else.

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• By laurali
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 4:53 pm
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Hi Patricia -- Angry, shocked, stressed, depressed, crying, irritable -- yes, I went through all that when I was diagnosed with CHF after emergency implant of an ICD, 3+ yrs ago. It will pass :) My cardio doc put me on an antidepressant as I left the hospital. She said that it's a chemical thing. It helped a lot once it kicked in after about 2 weeks. I recently discontinued that Rx and am doing well. My EF was 29% -- after 8 months on Coreg/Lisinopril it was in the normal range (hi 50s). CHF can be managed! My aunt (who is now 89) has had CHF for nearly 20 years. I think the keys are: find something that will help keep the stress out of your life; watch, really watch, your sodium intake (I stick to no more than 1500 mg/day); keep BP nice and low; work with your doc on Rx that work for you with lo side effects; exercise at least some, everyday; and SING! Before too long, you'll find that your CHF begins to fade into the background of your life -- instead of way up front! Take Care. Hugs, laurali

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• By joy2day
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 4:58 pm
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i was diagnosed with heart failure 2 years ago. Since then, I have

snorkeled
traveled
climbed a 30-foot pole to zip line
started working out every day
lost several dress sizes
started eating better
met someone
accepted a marriage proposal

I am healing emotionally as well as physically, and I appreciate life more.

I still face physical challenges and inconveniences in my life. It is a lot of work to maintain an low-sodium diet, and I get quite frustrated at that sometimes. And last year, I lost my dad to heart disease.

It takes work and discipline ... and a WHOLE LOT OF FORGIVING MYSELF ... and I can only do that day by day.

Karla

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• By ckgoduto
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 7:58 pm
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Hi there and welcome to this site. Like everyone else states what you are feeling is perfectly normal in every way.

You are a beautiful person and you will survive.

I can't help noticing that you seem a little jealous that your sisters are well and you inherited the CHF. I feel the exact same way - I inherited all my parents diseases and my sister is in perfect health. Gee I don't want to see her sick, but I'd like to share some of these things with her.

Try to live life to the fullest every day.

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• By Patricia79
• Posted October 5, 2009 at 9:50 pm
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I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded to my letter...I was crying so much...tears of joy and relief...that it was hard for me to get through all the wonderful letters of encouragement I received. Words cannot express how grateful I am to everyone who shared their story with me...I have come to realize that I am not alone in what I feel...and everyone gave me such positive messages of hope and understanding. I do now feel and see a glimmer of hope for my future and that of my son.

Thanks again to everyone who wrote me back....I just hope that I too may one day be able to inspire someone who may need some support and understanding.

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• By blessings742
• Posted October 6, 2009 at 6:26 pm
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my hubby has copd, major heart disease,sleep apknee, the list goes on, etc. but at 73 he still bowls with a bunch of old timers,tries to walk some, dose
get depressed cranky at times,

my health not good, diabetes tpy 2>>> ok with that,,,
i fell broke my filumer bone, big bone in leg, smased to bits,have pins/ points/ supper glue>>> holding me
together+++ i walk our poodle dog often as i can,
artritis has hit me all over my body, the pain terrible
trust in our lord for strenght, god bless, blessings 7422 aka<<<<<<<<<<<<<<darlene

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