Let's talk about work!

BklynViolet
2 Recommendations

My question is, do most of us work full time? I've gravitated toward challenging jobs and was always really smug about my ability to handle more stress than ANYONE. Ahhh, how the mighty have fallen! MI three years ago at 47 even though I was a thin, non-smoking workout freak. Stent, cardiac rehab, fistful of daily meds....

Thing is, I have never regained my energy. I can power through my work day but have nothing left in the gas tank afterwards. And let's face it, the lifestyle changes that are supposed to keep us alive and kicking are time consuming - avoiding take-out, daily exercise, stress reduction - and much of the time I do none of the above. Getting up in the morning is such a struggle I've had to revisit a moderate amount of caffeine to make it to work (late). My cardiologist admits some of this is from meds but doesn't feel they can be reduced.

Switching to a less stressful job was a bust - I was bored and miserable. So accepting that I'm going to go all-out while at work, I pine for a four-day work week. This seems ridiculous because I am only 50 years old! I need to be earning and saving money because I am not exactly in a high-pay profession. Yet, I also have the feeling that at the rate I'm going, retirement income may not be a real big concern, if you get my drift.

How are others balancing lifestyle changes and work (never mind those of you who have kids, I don't know how you do it!)

48 replies

kwinner
  • By kwinner
  • Posted June 2, 2008 at 11:17 pm

I'm laughing as I read, "the lifestyle changes that are supposed to keep us alive and kicking are time consuming". You're not kidding! I have my own business, work from home, thankfully only part time, but that can be a challenge on a bad day. I have 2 kids, almost 9 and 10. Even before my heart decided it was going to be a pain in my hiney, I woke up with a time deficit in the morning. I'm still trying to figure out how to take care of everyone/everything I have to and still find time to take care of me now, and forget about the energy factor. The only thing I've learned is it's okay to say no! I'm actually enjoying that part of it! I practice on my kids! :) Otherwise, I have to learn to accept that I live my life the way I do, and sitting in a closet being careful isn't living to me. I'm careful, I get what I need, I take my meds, but you said it yourself, the options were boring and miserable! Do I extend the life I have by quitting the things I love and napping more (don't get me wrong, I love my naps), or do I give it everything I've got, and in the end, a day shorter was still a day lived to the fullest.

If you figure out the key, please share!
Hugs,
K

AuntieMom
  • By AuntieMom
  • Posted June 2, 2008 at 11:19 pm

Ah BklynViolet,

If we knew the answer on how to make it through a "normal" american work week and still have any energy left at the end of the day, we could make a fortune !!! LOL.

I'm single, single income, same position as you - wondering about retirement or if I will even make it to retirement. I have no answers for you as I am having a terrible time with my female boss understanding that I can't do the amount of stressful work that I was able to do before my MI. She just doesn't get it - I look normal and act normal - at least at work. Once I get home I am a puddle either in a chair or on my bed. My laundry doesn't get done until after dark because hauling it up and down two floors in the hot sun wipes me out also.

Like I said, I don't have any answers for you, all I can do is be a sympathetic ear and I WON'T tell you it's all in your head as so many others have told me. "You had a heart attack, so big deal, forget about it and get on with your life." and this remark is from someone who considers themself one of my best friends. In one breath it's "I really care about you" in her next breath I feel like I have been hit with a sledge hammer. You can't talk to these people, you can't reason with these people, show them all the articles and books that you want - it doesn't work. They won't get it until they live (key word) through it themselves, that's IF they live through it.

We can compare notes - I'm always available to listen to you. I can't really give you any advice because I am still in the same place and it's been over two years for me. Just try to let their comments roll off your back, don't take them to heart (accurate choice of words) or it will kill you.

I tried walking at my morning and afternoon breaks but I couldn't keep up with the people I was walking with. I tried walking during my lunch break but without someone to make sure I went it was hard to do it on a daily basis. I was going to join Planet Fitness as it's only $ 10 a month but it's not on my way home and with the price of gas I can't justify going out of my way - it would mean worrying about being able to afford some of my meds.

Just take things slow and try to pace yourself.

Auntie Mom

1spudcat
  • By 1spudcat
  • Posted June 2, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Well this is definitely a question of mine. I use to work a 40 to 50 hours a week as a director of a non-profit school-age year around program. I had unlimited energy.

I cut back when I turned fifty to write curriculum and grants and work directly with the children. Then my time shifted down to 35 and when I had my heart attack and quad bypass in August 07(55 years old)....I have found I could barely make 30 hours a week. I feel undependable and I am sure not the go to person any more. This is a tough adjustment for me.

I find it is hard to get to work and even maintain my concentration through the day. The heart lung machine has done a number on my short term memory and writing skills. My tough immune system is destroyed and my energy level facilitates from great to awful. I have mentioned to a few people that I relate to the bird flying along and then "Wham!" the picture window of fatigue strikes. There is nothing gradual about it and it can happen at work or at home. I can nap for hours. I am enormously frustrated by the fatigue factor because I also can't sleep at night either for longer than six hours. I know my meds are causing this. But they are a necessary evil. I am on Toprol 50mg extended release, 20mg of Crestor, 5mg Benicar and 325 mg of Asprin. My meds are light in comparison to some but they still make me feel old and tired and the docs are not willing to lessen any of the dosages and may even increase some.

So I try to spread out my hours on M, W, F I work eight hours and on T and Th I work two to four hours. This helps some but like you said it is hard to have a life after work because I am exhausted. I am certainly not disabled but have run into health issues, an inflamed pericardium and lost time means no money because all my vacation time and sick time were used up while I was recovering.

I love to work like you, I want to be dependable, I love my job but I am throughly wiped out some days and can barely function. Wish I had some solutions but still am seeking the balance.........Maybe I need more than 10 months of recovery time to improve my energy, so I will wait and see.
Ruth

joy2day
  • By joy2day
  • Posted June 2, 2008 at 11:47 pm

I am getting there slowly. I'm working on the stress angle, and only marginally successful at that.

Like you said, the dietary adjustments require a lot of time to shop and prepare. Cardiologist, cardiac rehab, work's disease mgmt nurse all wanted to have me talk to their favorite dietician or nutritionalist, I told several dieticians that my biggest problem was protein for one. With a low-sodium/fat/sugar diet, chicken was about the only easy protein I could manage. And without cheeses, sauces, and gravies, how much can you do to dress up chicken? I got to the point that it was easier to do without protein than face another naked chicken breast. One dietician suggested that I just "whip up" a mango fruit salsa. After I (not so) gently explained to her that she didn't have a clue about the fatigue that went along with all the meds, the shopping, the label reading, ..... -- all for each meal, she didn't have so much to say other than "I see your point."

Physically, I am getting stronger. Thankfully, even when I was diagnosed with heart failure, my EF was 55. One of the trainers at the gym clued me into how Coreg slows down my heart rate. I can really tell a difference in my energy levels after taking one. Therefore, I exercise in the afternoons so that my energy is back up somewhat. Pilates and strength training are helping too. It took me several months of cardio to be able to think about those classes -- and I am just doing what I can manage. My Pilates instructor is good at altering the exercises for me.

Even still, the house is a mess and I can't seem to keep it uncluttered. Oh well. As my stepmom says "If you don't like my dirty house, feel free to clean it."

Karla

tonyam
  • By tonyam
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 7:16 am

What a timely discussion for me. I returned back to full-time work in May after taking 3 months off to rest. I own an engineering company. So returning to full-time work just means, in addition to the business side of things, I'm now at a customer's facility M-F 8 hours a day on a project. Wow, where is my energy? I used to work 80-100 hours a week until last October. Now, after 8 hours I'm exhausted. By Friday, I'm a white ghost crawling into my cubicle. I'm amazed the customer hasn't noticed (just keep your head down and keep smiling). And all the symptoms returned stronger than before.

I hear - slow down - reduce your stress. Going from 12-15 hours a day 7 days a week down to barely 8 hours a day 5 days a week is a major slow down for me, not to mention a huge financial hit.

I'm 43 and wondering how much gas is in my tank and how can I refill it. Before last October, I had plans that centered around my company and staff. Now - I look forward to quiet weekend mornings when I can sleep in, no alarm clock, and no schedule.

Tonya

smokefreeme

11 years ago I managed a convenience store that required around the clock availability and stress galore. I had my first MI at 43. When I returned I was scared to death but too young to quit. I did finally change jobs a year later to working in the public school. Shortly after I started that I enrolled in college in an online facility. I now have my Bachelor of Arts in teaching and am fully Licensed in Minnesota. It took 4 years if year round full time college and full time work but it was a godsend. I highly recommend online education because it allowed me to work full time, and go to school full time. My mind kept busy but my body got to rest. I would come home from work and hit the computer for a few hours. It took my mind off me. There are ways to integrate exercise in your day. I chose to walk to and from work. As far as diet... It wasn't so bad once I figured out what I could have insted of what I couldn't have. Besides that I was so busy I didn't care so much what I had. I just bought things I knew I could have. My husband was an awesome help there. Alot of times he made me dinner and set it in front of me so I could keep studying. Getting tired easier is part of the aging process. It isn't a bad thing. Just different. Take a little break and enjoy the slower pace. Pick up a hobby that justifies some sit work. Best of luck to you all. If you don't enjoy life it isn't worth living. Don't fret over what you cant change. Just find a new route. Diane

Rose
  • By Rose
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 9:34 am

Hi,

I know what you mean, it is exhausting. I went back full time one month after my heart attack. It was rough but I managed to get through the days. It seems like the longer I am into my recovery the more tired I get. By the time the weekend gets here I am wiped out. I used to get up early on the weekend to do my chores so I could have the rest of the days free to do fun things. Now I sleep between 12 and 13 hours on the weekend plus naps. By the time I get up at 10 o'clock and get myself together the morning is gone. I feel like I am not accomplishing anything on the weekend.

My house is the Sunday house, especially in the summer because we have a nice above the ground pool. I have told my husband it is getting to be too much but he doesn't get it and still wants the Sunday gathering. I have trimmed down what I fix but I am still exhausted on Sunday night and then have to get up at 6 AM on Monday.

I am older than you so I can look forward to retirement in 3 - 5 years. I do think that the quality of our lives is important.

I would think being single puts you in a more difficult situation than those of us with husbands or partners. You have to do it all by yourself. Do you have any young friends or relatives who could do the hard stuff for a few dollars? Try and find some ways that ensure that you do get to retirement age and have managed to save enough to enjoy it.

Let's keep on keeping on as we drag our weary butts through another work day.

Warm Regards,

Rose

donnaburton17

Lots of helpful and informative information has been posted in response to your question. I'm not going to bore you by restating everything that others have graciously shared, but wanted to tell you about something that helped me.

Like you I take a lot of medication. I think I'm up to 13 prescriptions and 3 over the counter medications. I was absolutely exhausted trying to deal with a full time job supervising the sales and service units of my company and trying to have some sort of meaningful life away from work.

I happened to mention my extreme fatigue to my cardiologist (who is the most wonderful doc in the world - I'm SO lucky!) and he started adjusting the drugs. I tried three different beta blockers, a couple different calcium channel blockers, different doses of Plavix, and so on. It took almost two years, but I finally feel almost normal. I can work a full week, have an occasional weeknight activity, and still have enough energy to enjoy the weekend.

I'm not saying I have the same life I had before my first heart attack, but by learning to accept my new circumstances, working to change my lifestle and coming up with the correct combination of medicine, the quality of my life has improved dramatically.

I still have days when I have crushing angina, am an emotional wreck, need extra sleep and generally feel sorry for myself. But ultimately I'm so happy when I can go out to dinner and a movie, or have my children over for Sunday dinner or work on a friend's political campaign or take a nice vacation.

So check with your cardiologist and ask him/her to review your drugs. You may get some suggestions that will make a difference. I'll be sending you good wishes!

ckspring
  • By ckspring
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 11:39 am

I am glad you brought up this subject. I had an MI and SCA in April 2006 at age 48. I am a partner at a large law firm and everyone here was terrific about jumping in and taking care of things while I was off. I returned to work 3 hours per day for a week after 5 1/2 weeks, then 6 hours per day for another 6 weeks or so until I received an ICD, and people at the firm were admonishing me not to take on too much too soon, to the point that I wanted to scream. My EF was 30-35% at the time I received my ICD (which was very traumatic for me to find out -- much more traumatic than the MI, which I do not remember at all), and 6 hours a day at work was all I could handle, although as time marched on it became easier.

After getting the ICD my cardiologist told me could work whatever number of hours I chose to, but I suspect he knew I would not have enough energy to do much more than 6 hours per day. Anyway, in August 2006, I changed cardiologists and he did a nuclear stress test and found my EF was up to 52% (apparently very unusual improvement in 6 weeks). That was great news but I still was having trouble getting out of bed in the morning and was getting to work around 10 am most days and still leaving around 6pm, which is not enough to do what I really need to do. In addition, my emotional and mental state were not even close to what I had known pre-MI as "normal." I was angry, apathetic and sad most of the time (but short of being clinically depressed) and mentally foggy (although I do not think anyone but me knew this), with some difficulty concentrating and retaining information.

I was doing all the right things. I got out of bed each morning, threw on workout clothes, did 2 miles walking, eventually reaching 3.5 mph --which is the max my cardiologist wants me to do (and slowly increasing incline) each morning, 7 days per week, then ate a healthy breakfast with fiber and fruit and took my meds (in addition to allergy, asthma and reflux stuff, I take Plavix, Toprol, Avapro in the a.m. and aspirin, Vytorin -- now simvastatin- and Niaspan at night). So, by the time I did all that and got ready for work and got into work, it was 10am. This is still my routine, but I now can usually get in closer to 9am and can work later on a more regular basis.

One of the improvements has been that I have cut my Toprol dose in half. I did not even realize what Toprol was doing to me until I ran into an attorney friend (who also had an MI) on the elevator one day a couple months ago and he asked if I was taking Toprol and I told him I was and he said that one of our partners who takes it calls it the "I don't give a s--- drug." That was when I told myself I had to do something because I could not keep living this way. I called my cardiologist and told him I was tired of the reflux and asthma symptoms and didn't even get to the apathy part when he told me I had convinced him and said I could reduce the Toprol. Anyway, reducing the dose has definitely improved my emotional state and mental abilities -- I am much less sad and am thinking clearly again and even my husband has noticed a difference in my attitude. I also have more energy.

I am now more than 2 years post-MI and am starting to feel more normal. I still occasionally work 15-hour days, but I do not work more than 8 or 9 hours a day regularly (I should work at least 10 regularly to do what I really need to do), but after this much time I am starting to recognize that I will never work like I did before. That probably would thrill my cardiologist to hear, but I find it very upsetting. I like what I do and still am viewed as someone who will do what it takes to get the job done, but the hours I work no longer support that belief. At the age of 50 I just am not willing to throw in the towel on the idea of being the best at what I do, but I also apparently am not really willing/able to what it takes to achieve at the level I did in the past. I hope this is helpful to someone and sure would welcome any ideas anyone else has on how to get back the enthusiasm I once had.

grace5
  • By grace5
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 2:10 pm

Reading all your posts has made me get things into perspective, I was feeling down about not having a job. I've been temping at the local college recently covering for a broken leg (which is attached to someone) I also used to have a stressful but interesting job in Adult Careers/Education. I gave it up when my mum was diagnosed terminally ill almost 3 years ago and since her death and my MI I've considered myself unemployable, (I should say employers consider me unemployable) ageism is rife. I'm 55 and on the scrap-heap! But I have time to catch up with friends, plant my vegetables, wander around the shops and do as I please, I do some voluntary work and my husbands paperwork but I'm too young to retire and I miss my own money, the perfect solution would be a 2 or 3 day week wouldn't it? I can dream can't I?
Grace x

wendylee
  • By wendylee
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 5:20 pm

I was so glad to log on today after work and find this. So many of you are feeling the same thing I am going through. It has been 5 months since my MI and 4 stents, 4 months since bypass surgery. For the most part I am doing great but I sure do miss the energy I used to have. I have been blaming myself for not being more motivated! I am glad to hear that it's not just me, it's my meds and the healing process that is still occuring. I too am a big puddle when I get home from work. I went back 6 weeks after surgery. At first I thought maybe I had gone back too soon but I don't feel much more energy now then I did the first day back! I see my cardiologist on the 10th. I will talk to him about my meds, I didn't think of that. Thanks again for being there!! - Wendy

lkay
  • By lkay
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 5:37 pm

Thank you all for this exchange - I don't push myself at my job (it is a very laid back atmosphere working on a college campus in an academic dept, especially in the summer months) but I find it distressing that I still come home absolutely wiped out from doing nothing. Your descriptions sound so much like my situation. I guess it is true - misery does love company.

My best,
Laura

mamasmurf
  • By mamasmurf
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 6:29 pm

Thank you for starting this thread. This is one of the things I am still wondering how I will physically handle. It's good to hear not to expect a whole lot from myself that I will more than likely be wiped out. I might be finding out in a couple of weeks. Awaiting the Dr.'s decision after I have my test tomorrow.
Tina

BklynViolet

Hey guys, thanks for all the comments. I am detecting a theme here....we're pooped!!! 1pudscat, isn't it a cruel twist of fate that it is also hard to sleep at night? I for one get my best sleep in the morning - not an option on weekdays. The sweet elixir of that sleep between 6 and 9 in the morning on weekends! If it could be bottled (in ecologically-friendly packaging, of course) I would buy the warehouse.

I really agree that lowering medication would help. Unfortunately I also developed a pesky arrhythmia that kicks up if I cut down on the Coreg. So now I am working on acceptance, a little thing I'm going to call Type A Pride. It is too late in life for me to become a Buddhist nun. Realizing that I put the pedal to the metal whenever work is put in front of me, I'm going to try to limit the time I spend at the office. Maybe those of us who thrive on stress can still enjoy it, just in smaller doses? Well, it's a theory anyway!

Thanks again, and best wishes to all of us in finding balance most of the time, and excess when we want it.

SandyBoop
  • By SandyBoop
  • Posted June 3, 2008 at 8:40 pm

Dear Bklynviolet,
welcome. you are too funny, and by the way i'm born and raised in bklyn, nice to meet you. I had my mi in february and i lost my job cause i guess i wasn't getting healed quick enough for the cardiologist dr's i was working for.lol. i am still in rehab which i started about 2 weeks ago and my next dr visit is in july. in the mean time i have been on disability but i just received a letter that the dr had to fill out so that my benefits can continue until he says that i'm ready to go back to work; not that i have a job to go back to, but i will have to collect unemployment until i find a job. the kicker is this ; i have worked for dr's for 18yrs. i am a business office manager and the stress of that job is what has helped get me into this situation.I have no idea where to begin now. what am i supposed to do for work? i feel so discombobulated. (don't know if i spelled that right) to be honest don't think i can handle full time work at this point. I keep hoping to win lotto so i don't have to bother worrying. anyway, your post made me laugh cause i know where you're coming from.things should be easier after all we've been through but somehow they are much more difficult i guess cause it's a whole new way to get used to and we were to stuck in our old comfortable way.anyway, glad you found us. you can vent here with the best of us anytime. take care and know that we all share your sentiments.
peace and all good,
sandy

scon223
  • By scon223
  • Posted June 4, 2008 at 9:03 am

Ladies: I read the entire thread and found myself in many. MI/sudden cardiac deathx2 in Jan 07, coma followed MI, then a suprise wake-up (they expected me to die) I have heart damage-no stents-fist full of meds. Returned to work around May 07. I had a very stressfull job as product manager for a software product. I did sales, training, marketing and support. (Plus business management). Boss changed job, pay, hours in Nov 07 - in other words, fired me. I still do not have a job. Grace, you are right! I am still exhausted, memory and concentration not good. I have applied for SS disability. If they turn me down, can I become a Buddist nun? Thank you all - it is nice to have heart sisters! Shellie

tonyam
  • By tonyam
  • Posted June 4, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Buddist nun. How funny. How about selling ice cream on a beach somewhere, well somewhere not too hot or humid?

Ok, so I go to the cardiologist yesterday (i.e. because all the chest pain returned after going back to work full-time a month ago). He increases the Imdur to 60mg. And then tells me to take it easy, slow down, and work less.

Hum...... Is that the canned answer to our daily lives?

Guess we need one of those money trees. Darn I live in a condo building in the city.

lkay
  • By lkay
  • Posted June 4, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Bklyn,
It's never too late to become a Buddhist nun; I think it is the lot of women to be tired perpetually. Maybe they could come up with a saint of perpetual tiredness? I would be willing to light a candle or two in front of that one myself.

Sandy,
Your situation depresses me because if a cardio doc can't work with you and your limitations, why would any of use think our employers could do any better?

Tony,
dream job for me has always been beachccomber... just can't figure out how to make money picking up shells.

My best to you all,
Laura

bettyboop48

hi ladies,

well it looks like i am not the only one that doesn't have alot of energy after all of this. I haven't gone back to work yet but i know that it will be soon and I feel that it will be an adjustment. I too hear the thing well you only have stents and that aint a big thing and why not just deal with the chest pain it can't be that bad. well alot that they know and this comes from some of my family. that is what makes me so mad about all of this its like some think i planned all of this i could think of something else to have other than this. well i have learned alot from reading all of your post and i just hope things work out for all of us. may we get some more energy hey wheres that energizer bunny? maybe he can give us some of his energy lol.!!!! well take care everyone

terry

Kennarina
  • By Kennarina
  • Posted June 6, 2008 at 1:40 am

Hello Heart Sisters!

Well, I think I've just learned more reading your posts than I have in the four weeks since my heart attack (emergency angioplasty/one stent implanted in my left anterior descending coronary artery which was, amazingly, 99% blocked).

When two of my co-workers came to visit me on admission to the Coronary Care Unit (I happen to work as the Communications Coordinator in the same hospital, just one building away from CCU), I told them (what was I thinking?!) that I'd probably be back at work the following week, no problem. A little heart attack was not going to slow ME down!!!!

Pretty darned quickly over that first week at home, I learned how impossible that prediction would be - with daily crushing fatigue, weepy emotional meltdowns, and (surprising!) episodes of chest pain.

"One more week off!" I then promised my boss on the phone. After all, it's not like I'd had open heart surgery, right? A post-op visit to my family doc after two weeks, and my story to her of how exhausted I felt just taking a shower in the morning, resulted in her advice to stay home from work "at least two more weeks" . I phoned my boss to say "Two more weeks!"

This was two weeks ago. I knew on the weekend, however, that there was no way I was physically or emotionally able to go back to work this week yet. This reality has been increasingly stressful to me. I felt obsessed about going back to work. I even 'catastrophized' that somehow if I didn't get myself back to work, I might not have a job to go back to!

I began to feel utterly obsessed with returning to work, the sooner the better, in spite of physical and emotional symptoms that clearly contradicted this urge! I felt stressed and increasingly guilty about taking all this time off while things at work are piling up daily.

The question of 'when to go back to work' still haunts me. I feel preoccupied with finding out the "correct" amount of time to take off work in comparable situations, although I know intellectually that every patient and every cardiac incident is unique.

I went in for a Cardiac Rehabilitation assessment last week and was told by the nurse that I am clearly not yet ready to begin this 3-month program. I have another treadmill test/blood tests scheduled in two weeks, and then I go back to see my cardiologist on July 2nd. The cardiac nurse's advice: "Don't even think about work until after your July 2nd exam. And don't circle a specific date on your calendar! You'll go back to work when you are ready to go back!"

Reading your assorted posts about going back to work and your subsequent exhaustion is oddly reassuring. They help me realize that I will be no good to my employer, and no good to me, if I go back too soon.

However, I'm now starting to wonder if no matter when I go back - in three weeks or in three months - will I face the same fatigue and exhaustion that some of you are describing here?

Any words of wisdom for us Type A folks who have trouble just relaxing and resting up? I do have plenty of sick time banked, and an understanding, compassionate boss. I try to remind myself of my late father's words: "The graveyards of the world are filled with indispensable people!"

Many thanks!

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