Family Support

• By gracie62
• Posted August 5, 2008 at 12:00 am

Ceil:
Welcome new heartsister, fellow Texan and fellow potential storm victim! I am located between Orange and Beaumont. Which way do you think the storm will go - your way or mine? In any case, best of luck to both of us. I'll be glad when the next 24 hours is over with.

I had my first stent at age 39, second at 40, triple bypass at 41 and a heart attack 17 days after that. My husband, after my first stent was the same as yours. He thought it was over, I was fixed and life should go on as before. After the second stent, he was a little better. It took me nearly dying before I got into surgery for him to come around. Men don't deal with these issues like women, so don't assume he doesn't care. He was faced with the very real possibility of losing you. Also, when you talk about it, it reminds him he almost lost you. No one can truly understand your feelings and fears better than someone who has been there before - not your mother, your sister, your best friend or anyone. Unless someone has taken the same path, they don't know the road you are on now.

2 weeks is still so early for both of you. Please understand that as you struggle with your fears and uncertainty, he is facing the same. You take care of those girls with CF. He depends on you. He needs you and you got sick and he didn't expect it. Enough about him. This is really the time to put yourself first. I realize that you have to care for your daughters. I have a 15 year old going to Texas Children's Hospital right now trying to get a diagnosis. But I pace myself. I do what has to be done, but I do what I feel like I can when I feel like I can. My bypass was 12/30/07. My heart was 1/17/08. I am just now starting to face all my feelings about what I have been through, because daily life often gets in the way healing.

As far as that soreness, I'd bet your doctor has never had a heart attack before! There is a condition called coronary artery spasms a/k/a Prinzmetal's angina which may be causing your spasms and/or may have led to your heart attack. Only your doctor will know for sure. I was recovering from my bypass when my heart attack hit so I can't vouch for all my soreness being related to that, but I have severe Prinzmetal's and bad spasms can leave me feeling like I have been kicked in the chest by a mule for days.

Sorry to go on and on. Up late, anxious about the storm brewing. The winds are picking up here slowly and I can smell the Gulf breeze already. It will be a long night for both of us. I doubt I'll get much sleep after dealing with Humberto last year and Rita in 2005. Take care, feel free to contact me anytime and I hope only the best for both of us and any other heartsisters in the storm path through the next 24 hours.

Dianna

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• By lkay
• Posted August 5, 2008 at 9:07 am

Greetings Ceil and welcome to womenheart, the club no one wants to join but everyone is welcome!

Diane has said so much that this isn't much more to add other than give yourself time. Make yourself #1 right now - it has to be about you so you will heal.

I also had a heart attack but no surgeries to fix anything. I thought it was nothing and went back to work way too soon - I paid for it by being tired, worn down and emotionally spent a few weeks later. I wish now that I had known to stop and rest.

I don't have children at home and having two with special medical needs I know is difficult. I'm somewhat familiar with CF treatments and that alone can take up so much of your day. Are there resources through your local CF chapter that can assist you with some things?

As for your husband, don't stop telling him what YOU need to get better .

My heartfelt best to you,
Laura

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• By arizona1
• Posted August 5, 2008 at 9:22 am

Hello! All I can say is, men don't get it. Or I should say some men don't get it. I was having this discussion with my husband last evening. I used to be superwoman and he still thinks I am. I took care of everything while he traveled the country and world. Now I need a bit of help and he just doesn't understand yet. ( Heart attack and 3 stents 1/30/08)
My chronic fatigue syndrome caused the problem ... left ventricle septum was severely hypokinetic from the CFS and when given an overdose of hormones, it triggered the heart attack) When it rains it pours......

After the heart attack and procedure, I was extremely tired and unable to do much. This is in stark contrast to what i could do prior to the HA, even with CFS. It took time, but I am there now 7 months later. You absolutely amaze me what you are handling yourself with your sick children. If hubby won't help,perhaps family will. Or even friends, neighbors, church etc etc.
We don't want you to worsen your condition. You have a right to heal yourself for awhile and it doesn't seem like you are getting that chance. That is very important. Perhaps some counseling for the two of you from a pastor or counselor.

I am so sorry you are here, but you arrived at a safe haven. The women here are absolutely the greatest bunch of people you would ever want to meet. We have been through it again and again. Go back and read some of the posts to get a flavor of what we are all about. This site is rich in caring, compassion, information and anything you might need. We are here for you.

Big hugs and blessing to you,
Kathib

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• By MegRose
• Posted August 5, 2008 at 11:12 am

Cecil, I totally agree with the other responses that our heart sisters gave you. Men don't understand or don't even want to comprehend what they would do without us. It's not that they don't care, it's just there way of handling a very strong emotional feeling for you and to convince themselves that you will be fine no matter what bump comes on their road concerning you. I still to this day [ I had triple bypass surgery in December 2006] can't believe that my husband doesn't think I have heart disease! At the time of my surgery the surgeon and cardiologist told him my heart was in good shape and that the grafts should be successful. Well, that's all my husband needed to hear and he believes I am all fix and ready to go back to everything as usual. I've often said to him I am not and the physical and at times the emotional aspects of open heart surgery is not as easy as those who don't walk in your shoes can undersand.


I do have a short event to tell all of you about that made my husband sit up and realize how strong heart patiests, no matter female or male are and continue to be. There is a TV show on Thursday nights I believe at 9:00pm east coast time called "Hopkins", about the famous John Hopkins Medical Center doctors and their lives as doctors. The episode last Thursday entailed a woman that needed open heart surgery and the episode was very graffic in showing the procedure. Well my husband sat there watching this intensely and looked over at me and said wow, sometimes one needs a punch in the gut to realize what heart patients go through and their individual recovery should be the first and only issue to all of those who care and love us. The female patient did make it through surgery ok!
We all continue to be here for a purpose and remember our support is only a click away.
Take care, mrcavlin

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• By kwinner
• Posted August 5, 2008 at 10:00 pm

Ceil - Welcome to the family! I'm so sorry you're not feeling more supported at home, my goodness, my chest would hurt even if I didn't have a heart problem if I was carrying all that you are. I hope you find this a supportive and caring place to heal your heart. You're not alone, we all have the same feleings to some extent, as you can see from previous responses. Right now, it needs to be about you, and obviously your daughter - please don't take other's insensativity to heart. Men have a funny way of showing they care - they don't! They choose to appear strong and detatched, I believe in order to cope with thier own feelings about our health. It doesn't mean they don't love us, it just means they're dense!
Sensing you hugs and prayers,
K

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• By terodac
• Posted August 6, 2008 at 1:11 am

Men can act strange and they can't take the stress that we are use to being under! They fix things and everything is back to normal, women are more emotional creatures Thank God! I don't think they don't care as much as they are scared they will loose us! There wives, mother to there children, care takers of the house, we should be fixed and ready to go! I have a wonderful husband and has been one of the reasons I am still here for sure!! But he kids with me about my memory and every pain I have. Which sometimes is sweet and other times it is annoying me! Men have to appear to be the Strong ones, when really they are the weakest! I have learned that when it is my time to go I am gone! does not matter what I have planned or what I am doing! So I just go and do what I can everyday and I make sure I am walking with God everyday! Don't let him get to you! He is just scared and does not want you to know it!! God Bless To All My Heart Sisters

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• By Ecksunbeam
• Posted August 7, 2008 at 3:48 pm

Deadly Dose

This woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

"What for?" he asks.

She says, "I want to kill my husband."

He says, "Sorry, I can't do that."

She then reaches into her handbag, pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and hands it to him.

He says, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription ..."

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