Down Days

Are there times you feel you time is limited? For some reason, I have had that feeling. I think part because of the family history. Daddy's family called it " The Curse" Not many made it to 66. Dad had his heart attack @ 58(my age now) and he made it to 66yrs and 3months. Mother was 72 when her heart took her. Since I've been doing genealogy I've found that Heart disease is very stronge on that side as well. I understand that from "Mindfulness Therapy" that I'm allowed to have these feeling,but I get mad at myself for even thinking or feeling this way. It's not like I'm in that bad of shape. 2yrs COPD 6 months confirmed unstable anginia and on meds for that. I can still do things and go; I'm not on oxygen and the meds have helped with the pain. I try and adapt, so on "good days" I do as much as possible and try and enjoy. It's just from being on the go all the time 2yrs ago, to now, it's a shock to the system and mind. It's a battle between the Brain and Body. The brain says,"Why are you resting, there's daylight,you need to do this or that, and the body says go ahead and see what happens,so you go with the head and do what it tells you, and then the next day or that evening the body says Told you so.! It gets tiresome trying to balance everyday chores,when you feel like you could sleep for a week.I've been on med for psychological issues for 4yrs(PTSD,depression,anxiety,ocd,and agoraphobic) so who knows,it could be the depression trying to raise it's ugly head again. It can come at you and you don't even know it; so maybe that's it. I just have this feeling. That all I can say.

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Hi SKPM,

I also have this feeling and suspect it might be a normal feeling for those who have suddenly lost a loved one, especially unexpectedly, and for those of us who have been diagnosed with heart conditions/diseases that could cause sudden death or severe disablement. Why? We are suddenly faced with just how short life is and how quickly it can be snatched away.

In your case, you have a strong family history of heart disease on both sides which I'm sure makes it pretty scary for you. I would like to offer a little encouragement for you to think about...

Medical technology has come a long way since your parents were diagnosed with heart disease. If your parents were your age today... they would probably have lived much longer because of newer drugs and more up-to-date technology. It may have felt like a curse to them but that doesn't necessarily mean it will be for you. Today we have online support groups with other people who "understand" or "get it". They can identify with us and we with them in many things. We can inform and encourage each other. Your parents probably didn't have this support either. They probably didn't even have a computer. We have come a long way from the previous generation.

Today we not only have better meds and better technology but we have better educated and experienced specialists in many areas. We are aware of the dangers of saturated fats and high cholestral, and other things that are bad for the heart. We are aware that we need to get off the coach and get out walking, and other good habits. We are aware of how our "attitudes" can affect our health for good or for bad. Everything goes through the mind first before it gets to the organs of our body.

None of us knows how many days we have on this earth. People die at all ages from birth to over a hundred. The point is we need to make the most of what we do have now. Reflect on how you can make the most of what you have in your particular circumstances. What do you want to accomplish while you are living? What steps will it take to do that? It doesn't have to be anything major or difficult, it can be something as simple as learning to play piano or guitar... We all need to have a purpose and a plan to balance out the part we have no control over. Find something you would really love to learn or do and allow it to replace the time you would normally fall into a downer. It would be easy to be too focused on the disease only, if we do not have something else to distract us...such as something we have a passion for. What do you have a passion for? For me, I love to learn, and one of those things is learning to play piano and guitar. I also love to study the Bible. I get so much encouragement from God's Word.

We need to allow our focus to be balanced by finding a passion in another area other than our physical ailments. Encourage your friends on support groups how having another passion has helped you.

You just could live to be 100. Technology is on a fast track today. There could possibly even be a cure in your time.

Take care and keep in mind we live in an age of ever-increasing medical discoveries and newer technology than past generations had.

Hope some of what I have said helps you to feel more hopeful about your future.

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Annie 1945
Thanks, I agree. I've always said we don't have an experation date stamped on our back side, so live. I agree, I love learning. Input,Input. My parents got my first set of encylopedias when I was 6 'cause I aksed WHY? all the time.(LOL) I quess that's why my passion has turned to geneology. I want to know as much as I can about my families history and pass it on to my sisters. They are a tadd bit younger, and we've always wondered about where we started, hope I can make a couple of binders and give to them,that keeps my mind thinking, and not vegtating.
Thanks for your reply and only "good thoughts for you"
SKPM

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Thanks Annie 1945 i myself needed your positive input, I'm in a bummer as well SKPM, I'm 57, stent put in, arrhythmia problems, now kidneys. Dad died at 53, both Grandparents 60 and 70, their Son my Uncle 43, their other Son triple by pass at 39 and still perking at 60, it's rampant. My Mother and her sister both have serious blockages in their neck arteries. Where did I go?? It just seemed I woke on day and was old yet my mind says otherwise. :(((((

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Jilleo01; know that feeling. It's like someone stole my "umph" I think also with the weather changing it's got me in a funk. I not a fall/winter person; and I tolerate spring cause it brings the summer. Bless my daddy's heart. When I was little someone passed and he tried to explain "death" in a way that wouldn't scare me, so he used the seasons as the example. That was a good idea,except I think it warped me with fall/winter. Just keep working on this old brain and get it to understand things have changed and we have to adapt.
Thanks again Annie 1945 and Jilleo01 take it one day at a time. That's what I'm trying to do
Be Safe/Be Careful

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Hi Jilleo,

I'm glad my post to SKPM was encouraging to you also. Your last sentence...
Where did I go? (where did time go or where did my life go). It just seemed I woke one day and was old yet my mind says otherwise.

I am ten years older than you are and wonder what is wrong with everybody. I get treated like I'm an old lady! I'm not old! My body may be old and breaking down, but inside, I am probably 30 something. I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. Life is still in its early stages and I have much I want to do. Why can't people see the young person inside instead of focusing on our brokeness and our wrinkles? :)

This is why we need to have a passion for something. It kinda gives us more purpose and gives us something that just plain relaxes us, or delights us.

This is something we don't realize until we get past a certain age and people refer to us as old. As long as we feel young in our mind, we are young. We may have to make a few adjustments on what we can physically do, but there is still a world of discovery and hobbies or whatever, that we can discover a passion for. Too me, you are still young. You could have another 40 years ahead, possibly. Only God knows for sure how much time any one of us has on this earth. Enjoy the time you have the best you can, inspite of all the tribulations that go with it. For myself, I am working on developing some new attitudes and knocking off some old ones. This is an ongoing thing for me.

I also have arryhthmic problems. I was diagnosed with Atrial Fibrillation and underlying heart disease. I also have sleep apnea, raynauds, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, venous insufficiency in my legs, a knee that occasionaly buckles, macular degeneration, and now cataracts, losing my hair, lost my teeth when I was 21. I have had two bowel resections. Had cervical cancer, a hysterectomy, and got rid of my gall bladder. Like I say, like an old car, parts are breaking down...but the driver of this old jalopy is still young. :)

As for your family history, I realize that probably scares you, too. Just keep in mind about the fast rate of technology and medical discoveries today compared to even ten or twenty years ago. You stand a much better chance then your relatives. Remember also if you can mostly have an optomistic outlook it will have a better effect on your health. I know it isn't always easy because that too takes practice and perseverance to keep it. When you need encouragement let others on the site know what you need. They all understand.

Hope your spirit is lifted up and you feel more like yourself soon.

Take care

Annie1945

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Annie1945,
I love your attitude and all you have written here. I too try very hard to maintain a positive attitude. I need to read this today. Thank you so very much!

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