Asking for Prayers

Greetings, Heart Sisters.
Some of you know I am clergy. Right now I am sinking into a deep depression. I am emotionally, psychologically and spiritually drained. I have nothing left to give. In clergy terms, that means I am burned out. Like most of you, I am still learning to deal with my life-threatening illness (LVNC and SVT) and I need to heal. For my own health and well-being I must take a leave of absence which means no paycheck, no housing and no insurance. I have no financial resources and my family is unable to help me. I know many people think clergy have a direct line to God and that somehow we are closer to God and impervious to anxiety and have no worries. Not true, since we are still human. So I confess to all of you that I worry about what will happen, especially with my health concerns. I do not need to work in a church setting and am open to whatever God may bring my way. Still, I am frightened and anxious about my future. ... ... ...
Wanda

By scholastic
Posted October 21, 2009 at 8:39 am
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Helo, I am so sorry you are going through this. Yes, depression has no boundries. When I feel my self going towards a depressed state . I fall on my knees in prayer and let the Lord know I am turning it over to him. I know you have heard this expression before; The Lord gives us no more than he knows we can handle in our life, sometimes he will carry us through a tough time , and other times he will walk with us holding our minds and body in his loving hands. I wake up every day with a Smile on my face, somedays I have to make myself put a smile on , but most days it is because the Lord has blessed me another day. I try not to be negative about anything in my life, It helps me to put that smile on everyday. I have found that if you have a purpose lined up everyday in your life ,that depression seems to disappear. My purpose is to help children in poverty. I do this by filling stockings with sm. toys, books etc,and give out @ Christmas with a note in them saying God sent me through this stocking to tell you he loves you and he is listening. I do have really bad days, so this project takes all year to put together for the next years Xmas. But its a purpose I have choosen in my life to do, and it helps me far more than any anti-depressant drug could ever do. I hope you can find some peace in this and know God never turns his back on any of us, but you already know that being a clergy. Praying for you , Terri

By Rose
Posted October 21, 2009 at 11:48 am
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Wanda,

You are going thru a hard time right now. I will keep you in my prayers. You are leaving yourself open to God's plan so I think you are going to be ok. I have often said that I have never had a prayer go unanswered, it is just sometimes I don't like the answer to my prayer which is no. I also had a wise spirtual advisor tell me that sometime we are too sick or tired to pray so that is when we really need others to pray for us. You are wise to ask for prayers when you are feeling so down because you know they will help you in the end.

Let us know how you are doing in finding your way to a different life.

Warm Regards,

Rose

By Twndd
Posted October 21, 2009 at 12:48 pm
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Wanda,

I am so sorry to hear all this. Keeping praying. I am a believer that things happen for a reason. We don't always have the big picture. I too am dealing with big decisions and depression that seems to worsen daily.

Be Proactive and try to network with some of the church members. Maybe they can come up with something to tie you over. Don't be ashamed to ask for help from God and people. We need to be helping each other now in this awful world of ours.

God Bless you and please keep in touch with this group. WE REALLY CARE!

Love,

Donna

By martzj
Posted October 21, 2009 at 3:33 pm
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HI Wanda,

I just opened a fortune cookie for you. The message seems a good fit too.

"When in doubt, just take the next small step." (smile)

I love fortune cookie messages because I know they are always going to be positive and many have very funny mispellings.

Hang on. I give myself time limits. For example, I'll allow myself to freak out for an hour or so, then the next few hours I surrender up (never down) and get on with life, no anxieties allowed during that period. It gives my heart and soul a break when facing enormous challenges...which heart girls face often.

hugs to you,
Jaynie

By kmps
Posted October 22, 2009 at 12:03 am
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My thoughts and prayers are with you! God never gives us more than we can handle. With all that is going on in this World....let alone everyone's health....I believe there is more depression than ever before....
I like the saying my husband came up with..."wake up in the morning and put 1 foot ahead of the other and you keep moving". I know myself, I am to the point with stress about so many things that I just try to focus on the day .... as I can't plan for tomorrow and I can't relive yesterday. Ask for help....as you did here...prayers and a tad of quit time each day is what keeps my "engine" going. God Bless You! You have given your life to God....he knows you are suffering!

By lacey46
Posted October 22, 2009 at 12:44 am
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Hi Wanda,
I used to be a pastor's wife, so I understand how when you are depressed, you can feel gulty about..."what's wrong with me?...I shouldn't feel this way because I am a Christian or a leader in the church...etc" It doesn't matter what we do, we are all very complex beings. Our physical, emotional and spiritual parts of us are all connected with eachother and when one is "off" they all are. At times like that, we have to hold to what we know is true and not how we feel. Our feelings are so up and down.
I still struggle with periods of depression as well, but I want to encourage you to keep looking to God who promises to help us through trials. Also he gives us other people, so it's good that you are reaching out.
One thing I would recommend is to journal...write about the good things in your life as well. It's so easy when your down to forget the good.
Lacey

By Don-Ct
Posted October 22, 2009 at 8:02 am
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Hello, my heart goes out to you with what you are going through. Please know that other people care and that you will be in my prayers. God Bless.

Donna

By Reikiwoman
Posted October 22, 2009 at 11:01 am
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Hello my Heart Sister & Friend,

I think you were gathering strength while attending the WomanHeart Symposium last week. Even though you are depressed, you are a strong, capable, vital woman and it will get better.

It's too bad your denomination doesn't have an Assisi Heights Center ~ a place to reflect and heal. Just remember that you are not alone. You are always surrounded by light and love.

Please continue to write and let us know how you are. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings,
Bj

By newday
Posted October 22, 2009 at 10:34 pm
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WandaJ,

Many religious retreat facilities accept volunteers and in return provide free meals and housing. Volunteer work could be anything from office work to helping out in a gift shop, or gathering up prayer books after services.

Just do an internet search on "retreats" or "retreat houses" and you will find many options.

While going through my divorce, I spent 30 days at a Benedictine Monastery, and it was a Godsend. The nuns were such a blessing, and the whole place was filled with peace.

Another thought is that many of the State and National Parks offer free lodging and a small stipend for volunteering. Again, just do an internet search and I'm sure the Lord will do the rest.

Newday

Think about it.

By Patheart34
Posted October 23, 2009 at 5:47 am
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Hi,
Just remember that we go through things, we do get depress, but we come out of it just as strong as ever before- to witness in God's name!

By sternum
Posted October 24, 2009 at 10:53 pm
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What a joy to read this interchange.
Thank you Lord for bringing this group. Where two or more are gathered in Your name, You are there in the midst of them. So consider this a prayer group for our sister and supply the answer to her needs. In Jesus name.

If we mean it when we say we will prayer for someone, that is it. Whether it is from a fortune cookie, a pastor wife, or just some person who knows how you feel, they are all prayers and heard.

Favour upon you and be blessed
Gloria

By Queen_E
Posted October 25, 2009 at 11:24 am
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Hi
The depression is the hardest thing. Therapy, mindfulness, meditation, asking for help, prozac, setting boundaries - all of these things are helping me in this battle.
I was overwhelmed at trying to return to work. So, my doctor told me I had to wait, that simple. Then when I returned to work, I asked to change roles to simplify what I was responsible for delivering. You are smart to consider that it may be time for a new role.

Keep asking for help and support.
Each day you are choosing to live - taking your medications, doing your exercise, eating right. You were given this one life, and you are going to treat the rest of it with respect.

I've become disillusioned with the idea of eternal life with God, since I have to die to really enjoy it. Right now I am focused on a full life each day. God go with me on that journey, both difficult and lovely.

God go with you too, sister.

By mamaw2begin12
Posted October 25, 2009 at 8:58 pm
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Wonda, The first thought was that we are human. God loves each of us and wants us to depend on Him. It is during times of suffering that we feel God with us. God lifts us with His gentle hands. I will pray for you Wonda. God hears our prayers. God Bless You. Joyce

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