After struggling for over 4 years now with CHF, Asthma, Renal problems, Blood clots in my lungs 3 times, diabetes and now neck problems...I think I finally have to make that hard decision. 3 of my doctors this week have told me I'm done, I need to file for Social Security disability. I haven't worked a full week since October 2011 and I haven't been to work since the end of May. I've run through all the paid time I can take, so I'm now on unpaid medical leave, which does not hold my job...if I can come back in 4 months I have 30 days to find a position in the company and who is going to take someone with my attendance history. I lost my apartment the beginning of last month and had to move back in with my parents. And in the month I've been here I've been in the hospital twice. Today, my lung doctor said again....you are NEVER going to be able to work 8 hour days again...when you force it...you end up in the hospital. So, I have a choice....force things and not take care of myself or focus totally on taking care of me and my health. And that is quite a challange some times. And I am learning that dealing with two very elderly parents who have not cleaned in 2 years is a challange. But today...I feel sad. I feel like a failure. At 50, I finally had my own life, my own apartment, a good job, a new car.....I had it all and now it's gone. And I'm back to living in the back bedroom of my parents house. And sadly, they are not supportive at all. They don't realize I'm fighting for my life on a daily basis. My illness aren't deadly right away, but if I don't do what I know I should, I could die. And they don't seem to realize that. They also don't realize how very hard it is to give up and start down the journey of Social Security disability. And once I leave my job, I'll have to go on state medical. And hope and pray. Just feeling crappy tonight.