News From the Back Deck 6-24-09

Hello My Friends~

The damp weather continues...and while most are complaining about it from a mood perspective it means so much more to me. You see, when the weather is damp, my whole body feels like it just survived (key word being survived!) a horrific accident. Just moving becomes a big deal, and when I do move it hurts like heck.

People at work always marvel at my recall, my memory. I think that's what makes me good at what I do...someone tries to pull a fast one on us and I say, "Wait a minute, you tried to do this five years ago!" Or, "Hold on, I remember reading something about this in the files and it is illegal!" So, I figure, if I am so very blessed with recall, why can't I get my whole body to remember what it's like to be 100% healthy, with an immune system that's pumping out in overdrive, and just being happy. Sit down in a quiet place and think back to a time when you could say that you were happy about everything...it's not that easy. I was able to conjure up two times, and you can be sure I'll be 'travelling back' to those times on a regular basis to try to get my whole body to follow along.

The first one was when I was about thirteen years old. My aunt and uncle had the use of a cottage on West Meadow Beach on the North shore of Long Island. It belonged to my uncle's brother (his twin) who lived in Connecticut and never seemed to use it. Looking back, it was a one bedroom cottage...and my aunt and uncle had seven kids! Add in some more relatives and kids, but there always seemed to be enough room and food for everyone. We spent our days playing at the beach, buying ice cream from the truck that played the Everly Brothers "Kathy's Clown" non-stop, and digging for clams. The clams are the 'steamer' variety and at that time, the flats of the sound were full of them. You'd walk along the flat, and there would be holes all over the place. When you got close enough, a stream of water would come up and you'd drop to your knees and dig. We'd get buckets at a time and throw them on a charcoal grill at night to steam them open. I remember walking between the flats on one particular day and thinking, "It doesn't get much better than this!"

Another time that brings back total recall of health and happiness is a vacation that I took with Eric and Devon when she was just a wee one. We saved our money in a coffee can ($5/week) so we could vacation that year. I had given up a well-paying job to stay at home with Devon. We researched possible spots, and one day Eric found an ad for Brewster, an adorable little New England town on Cape Cod. We were able to rent a house for a week in June. We drove up and had the time of our lives...playing at the beach, touring Cape Cod, eating lobster. We actually went back to that same house many times before it was finally sold (and we did some real number crunching before we realized there was no way we were buying a house on Cape Cod at that point of our lives!) I was happy then, and I was healthy. And you know what? I think the two are definitely dependent upon each other.

As I shared in previous Back Decks, I went up to Boston in May with two 'internet' buddies to partake in a conference. One of the gals was my dear friend Rene from Alaska, who shared Seattle with me. The other gal was Peggy, a gal from Florida who had been wrestling this alligator for 17 (!) years. Peggy and I had such fun planning for the conference, like giddy teens. We decided that boas would be extremely appropriate, and Peggy donned a colorful one while there. Peggy checked into the hotel before Rene and I, and left chocolate bars and clown noses on our beds. Peggy had had a tough life, had raised two kids on her own while battling cancer. She became a clown later in life, as that was what she wanted to do...bring joy to those around her! While we were in Boston, she wasn't feeling well. She'd been placed on a new treatment that wasn't agreeing with her, and had to leave the conference itself early. She was walking with a cane, but dragged herself out that night to Fanueil Hall where we ate at a rowdy place called 'Dick's Hideaway'...Peggy and I had coerced the managers earlier in the week-end to hold a table, which was against policy. They made her a big silly hat while we were there that said, "I'm still a hot babe" and Peggy insisted on finding a marker to cross out the word "still"! Somewhere along the way, Peggy had brought three ceramic birds, one for each of us. The next day, she was too sick to join Rene and I as we walked the freedom trail and held up in the hotel room. We went to a church Peggy had wanted to see, in the hopes we could bring something back for her, but it was closed. Peggy's faith was a huge part of who she was. Slated to leave the next day, I made a deal with the hotel staff that Peggy could stay past check out time, as she had the latest plane reservation and was in such sad shape. We left her with our hearts in our throats, Rene headed back to Seattle to continue treatment, me home to Long Island. Rene called me when she made it home safely, sharing that she had landed in the emergency room. I sent a few e-mails since then, and Peggy left a message on my cell phone a few weeks ago. I didn't call her back...was too busy with life...didn't want to 'talk cancer' after being inundated with it over the past few months. I received an e-mail today, Peggy has passed away. Damn! Peggy died just a few short days after she left that phone message, the message that said, "Call me when you get a chance and I'll bring you up to speed on what has been going on. No rush, I know you are busy!" Three weeks after that bundle of spunk and I cruised around Boston on the T, she was gone. The cancer fighters lose another brave soldier. I am so sick of the story having this type of ending, please I implore all of you, help me rewrite the ending for the rest of us. The good thing is, in addition to all of the guardian angels I already had, I now have Sasha the Clown as well.

"Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors." ~Norman Cousins
Yup, Peggy would have agreed with that!

I love you all, be well~
Colleen