enough

I have come to the realization that my sight is only important to myself.

My doctor on my last visit actually shrugged his shoulders and told me to just come back when and if the pain increased any. I sat there in that damn chair for a while not really believing what I had just been told. I was being dismissed for the simple fact of nothing he had done so far was working. I had asked numerous times for his help on how to go about getting outside help (i.e. the state) and nothing was ever done.

The state I live in apparently does not do partial disability. Even though the vision loss of my right eye effects my left eye so much that I am forever falling or running into things. I asked my doctor about this a couple of visits back and he just stared at me. I have had enough of this man. The only reason I have been nice is for the fact that I am the fourth generation of my family he has seen so he knows the medical history. It is not worth it any more to deal with his sorry butt, at least to me.

Bless my Granddaddy's heart, he wants to go and "kick his lil city ass" even though it is his eye doctor as well. Of course, keeping a 96 year old stubborn southern man from doing anything is a challenge within itself! I know I am blessed with the three children and having my Granddaddy living with me. They do help me so much and keep my mind off of what I can not do anymore.

I am just tired of the pain and the un-ability to do things as I use to. Just the knowledge that I will never see again like I once did is un-nerving to me. I keep praying that one day there will be a cure but I will settle for the ability for at least one person NEVER to go through this hell. I can not imagine one my lil ones going through this.

I hate this.