20 mile walk, 5 year survivor, Life Moves on

I just completed my second annual 20 mile walk for breast cancer awareness. I am, just this year, a five year survivor and off all chemo. Now it's on with the show as they say, or as I would say, life. I can do, say, be, live, work anywhere I want. I want to live here where I am, although I do miss my family and friends back home. But I have a life here, I was invisible back in Philadelphia. I just wish I wasn't so damned lonely all the time. I fill my life with activities, school work, volunteering, friends and yet I still ache. Will I ever get over that? Will I ever get over the past? I don't know. I certainly hope so. God hears so many of my prayers, that I'm sure He is tired of hearing from me. I thank Him for all He has done for me. I should be happy with that, but we humans always want more. I just don't know how to get rid of this empty feeling. I do feel like I'm running from it. I am so hyper but maybe that's because if I stop or slow down, I'll feel the pain even more. I don't think I can take that. Sometimes I wish, I could just go to sleep for a couple of months to get a break from it all. I think physical pain is better than emotional pain. At least physical pain heals.