I'm not sure I'm posting this in the right spot, but I'm here basically to vent tonight anyway. So anyone that reads this, is one person that I hope can understand.
I have been dealing with vhl for the last 6 years now when my daughter first developed signs of it. She was diagnosed 4 years ago. I have studied and studied, and read and read, and listened until I'm blue in the face. I thought I had a pretty good understanding of it till recently. Now, everything I thought I had learned of it, or everything I thought I knew, seems to be going down the tubes. So when the webinars came out, I thought, "this is perfect!" This will give me what I need! However! The more of them I participate in, and the more of them I listen to, I get more and more confused. I guess I just realized tonight, after listening to two of them, that I really have no concept of this vhl thing at all. I'm so lost when it comes to all this. The vegf thing, the protien thing, omg, i could go on and on. Then, not to mention how discouraged I am, and how frustrated, by listening to the sutent trials info, and how nothing I have ever reported as far as side effects my daughter had while on it, were never mentioned. She for some reason, has never been allowed into any trials. Every med she has been on, Avastin, Sutent, etc, has been at my insurance carriers expense. I've been in touch with the NIH, I've talked to all these people and spent hours upon hours on the phone these past few years. Sent scans to NIH, talked to everyone that anyone has ever referred me to, Nothing we have ever experienced, has even been mentioned. Her experiences, with Avastin, Sutent, or the side effects. We've asked questions that can't be answered. Our fate at this point, is undetermined. As with all with VHL I guess. At this point she is stable, and I thank God for that. Lord knows I have said my share of prayers. Not just for her, but for all of you. I'm so lost now in this whole vhl thing. I realized tonight, that my daughter suffers from a deadly disease, that I have no clue about. For as much as I have read, talked about, and tried to learn about, I realize tonight, that I have no concept in understanding it. It's way over my head.
I think there needs to be a more basic vhl101. Something to start us off from the beginning, as far as info on it, and somehow make it more easy to comprehend. Especially when you are dealing with new mutations, the first in the family to have it. Or...maybe I just need my own personal counselor to help me get a grasp on this? HAHA, find one that knows about it! Let alone one that can explain this thing to me! What causes it, what helps it, what hurts it, what this whole vgef thing is, vhl protein, and all this other info in the webinars we listen to. I'm not sure why, but I will still listen to the play backs, and take part when I can. Just in hopes that maybe someday, I can get a grasp on this. And.....then I have to try and explain it to my daughter???




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