I am so depressed right now and cant seem to snap out of it. I am not suicidal, just so tearful and wanting to crawl under the covers. For those who don't know me, I had a TT last November, RAI in January and had a clean bill of health 6 months later. Of course that doesn't mean that I am completely well, but no active signs of cancer right now. I have been adjusting to my thyroid meds over the past months and am finally up to .125 mcgs of levothyroxine. I have labs due again the end of the week to see if there will be another increase in medication.
My diabetes has become much harder to regulate since the diagnosis of cancer, especially the last few months. That makes me feel bad, which doesn't help the depression. I am tired all the time and still cannot sleep well. Usually every 3-4 days, I am awake all night.
There is a referral in from my dr to see a psychiatrist and I am waiting for that appointment. My dr wont prescribe an antidepressant until I see the psychiatrist, because I am taking tramadol for osteoarthritis and the last time we tried an antidepressant, it reacted with the tramadol. Sometimes I think she is punishing me for taking the tramadol, but its the only thing I have found that gets rid of the pain without being a narcotic.
So, I hate not having a thyroid and having to take replacement medication that doesn't make me feel better. I hate being a diabetic and having the food I eat make me feel bad. I hate being alone, handling these things. I hate that its my birthday and I am another year older.
Please excuse my venting, but there is no one else that understands how helpless I feel when I feel bad. This group has been such a good support for me, from the time I was diagnosed with cancer and knew nothing about a thyroid, surgery options, medications etc. If you made it this far through my ramblings, thanks you for listening.