Feeling really crappy

I was told my diagnosis of minimally invasive encapsulated follicular carcinoma 3 days before Christmas, after having my thyroid totally removed on Nov 13. Also my parathyroids no longer work and my voice is crappy and my hair is falling out.

Since the diagnosis I have been a mess emotionally. I cry almost every day, am having issues making myself eat (an old eating disorder rearing its ugly head), I am grumpy especially at my wonderful husband, have horrible mood swings and fly off the handle way too fast.

All this and I have a darling 1 year old as well so as you can imagine the sleep is not great, even if I wasn't dealing with insomnia issues as well lol. And I have very little energy.

Add to that I have back pain very frequently, and just the other day fell down the curb and hurt both feet, one knee and one ankle....

And then there is the weight gain...

It is getting harder and harder to put on a brave face around others. I am going to my doctor on Monday to let him know all the crap that is going on. I am already on a low dose of citrilopram (sp?) but maybe it is not enough.

My husband said yesterday that he worries what he will come home to, if I will be the original me or the sad and angry me that is appearing more and more lately. We never used to argue or fight but now I seem to pick fights all the time with him - even though I don't want to. I just feel so mad and depressed and frustrated and I take it out on him ( verbally never physically)

Report post

12 replies. Join the discussion

My first guess on the mood swings, etc. is that your hormones aren't at the right levels yet. If your levels of TSH, free T3, free T$, etc. aren't right it leads to that kind of swings. It also has an effect on appetite and sleep. Also have your calcium levels checked as you mention your parathyroids not working.

I know how stressful this disease can be in and of itself, but adding other stress to the mix just really messes us up...

Be Strong and Stay Positive!

Report post

MiracleMummy, you have come to the right place! It is so hard to go what you are going through but we are here to support you!

I can remember being where you are 4 yeas ago (although my children were already grown and gone). But with time and support you will get through it. Adjust your expectations on yourself and ask everybody you know for help! You are the lowest you will be most likely and it will get better.

BUT you do need to address a couple of issues. As far as your parathyroids....you need to make sure and be monitored very regularly for calcium issues. Low calcium can cause many very nasty physical and psychological problems. Here are the best sites for getting more details on what you are dealing with if your parathyroids are either "stunned" or permanently damaged. (you won't know for a few months which it is).
www.hypopara.org
http://hypoparathyroidism.com/

The first site is an organization that provides support and information for pts so take full advantage of that!

You need to know what your calcium levels are and you need to be treated if it is low. If you are not connected with a doctor that understands this issue you need to find someone ASAP! As to be tested immediately and until you are stable as to be tested at least once a week. If your paras are not working you will need calcium and may need calcitriol prescribed to help you to absorb the calcium.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginfo/meds/a682335.html

As far as thyroid, there again a good doctor is needed to help you get to the right levels. I will not go into that because I think getting your calcium right is more critical than your thyroid! But I agree with Justgeo1, it sounds like your levels are not correct and you do need that addressed also.

OK, if you have any other specific questions please ask, or send me a p.m. I will be happy to answer anything I can. I know the suffering you are describing and it is not fun! :( but you can feel better! :)
Michele

Report post

Hi MiracleMommy, sorry to hear of your struggles. I went through the emotional battles too and tried every sort of antidepressent and antisiezure med with bad results. I ended up with Cymbalta which is my new best friend. Unfortunately it is expensive if you dont have drug coverage. The tears stopped within 2 days of taking it and I get more sleep when I can too. I dont have kids so you always have to put them first. Hopefully you can get an hour or two of quiet time to be peaceful in your day. Listen to your favorite music or meditate. Do something for yourself daily. Look after the medication levels like others have advised. It takes a couple months for you to steady out on the meds for the hair loss to slow. Its freaky but just breath deaply in the shower as it does grow back. I have long hair and just started wearing it down again as the falling out everywhere was horrible! You aren't alone and if you need to vent or talk we all get it! BIG HUGS!

Report post

Sorry to hear you are struggling but better days are coming. The Cymbalta will not only address depression issues it is also used for chronic pain especially for neuropathy and fibromyalgia which could be beneficial for you and would be worth looking into or discussing with your doc. Right now though, you need to get that calcium checked as that is the priority and should be addressed as soon as possible. Hopefully your parathyroids will start "waking up" and start working properly which can help a lot! The other issues of your thyroid hormones will need to be addressed as well because it just does not appear your levels are correct for you. It will take time and tweaking to find your optimal dose, but have faith it will happen.

Each day you get to spend with your toddler, take those coy smiles, milestones, silly faces, hugs and lots of snuggles and cherish them because they can help you in your darkest hour! As for your husband and picking fights, we often lash out at those closest to us, reassure him that you do love him when you can and bring him to your doc appointments so he fully understands all these crazy side effects that affect your life so maybe he can learn a bit about your new path in life. Seek out extra help with your toddler, maybe mom's day out where you can take your toddler to a reputable facility for a few hours a couple times a week so you can go home take a bubble bath and a nap! Or, if you are more inclined a massage or a pedicure but make sure you invest time in yourself as you are worth it! Even something as simple as a new carefree hair cut can be enough to lift your mood and make you feel better about yourself.

Don't worry about the weight gain, right now that is the least of your concern. Your husband and child will not love you any less if you gain a few pounds and considering what all your body is being assaulted with it's best if you can rest and heal first. I am sorry you struggle with an eating disorder, and hopefully you can use your same coping skills you previously learned to help with that. Do not be afraid or ashamed to seek out professional help as they can be a true asset to you especially after hearing all you are dealing with.

Just know you are not alone and we are all here to walk beside you, help you and guide you any way we can, and be another source you can use to vent, rage, scream or whatever you need to do anytime you need to.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope you are able to find some answers and relief soon.
HUGS,
Courtney

Report post

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. My doctor has doubled my antidepressant, and some of my blood test results have come back with low calcium still, and low thyroid. So we are upping those too.

I am glad it wasn't all in my head. And that in a while I will feel better.

Report post

I am glad to hear you are getting answers! Knowing it's not in our head goes a long way in our healing process and I am thankful you are finally getting the opportunity to heal with some peace of mind. Keep up voicing your concerns because only you know how you feel :)

Hugs,
Courtney

Report post

FYI - calcium citrate seems to be the best one for people needing to take it regularly like we do. Remember....need to have at least 4 hr between calcium and thyroid or iron and that the body can only absorb absorb about 500mg at a time (the rest just gets peed out!)

If you are low, you need to be checked very regularly (at least every week) until you get up to where you belong because getting hyper-calcemic is a very nasty, uncomfortable condition also!

Best wishes, and do keep us posted!

Michele

Report post

Hi there. Hope you are feeling much better!! I take calcium citrate and it really works much better than the other forms for me. I prefer soluble rather than large tablets. My throat has suffered enough without swallowing endless huge calcium tabs. ,

Mazbarth,

Clearly you are also Hypoparathyroid. I have been since thyca surgery. No parathyroid function at all.

I have had 3 acute tetany attacks from hypo requiring ICU admission. My levels plummet during sleep for some reason.

I have never been hypercacemic. What do you feel like? How long would we last without calcitriol and calcium? Not that I want to try it tetany is very scary. I still panic if I don't have a supply in my bag.

Thank you.

Report post

Sorry for typing errors. Typing on iPhone with poor eyesight and half a brain cell functioning... barely

Report post

Being hyper is pretty uncomfortable and it takes a while to feel better again. Nausea, headache, freq. urination are all signs you are too high but it is best to test!
Michele

Report post

Sounds like the effects of the Iv treatment they give you to correct the tetany. Too horrible! Let's keep our fingers crossed we all stabilise!

Report post

all a part of the adjustment. living w/o a thyroid; consuming and processing replacement thyroid med in a different way; mental, physical, even spritual fatigue and changes to our bodies and psyches; getting the dose right...
talk it all out, process it, pray, continue to help others...
spouse and others do not know how to "behave" around us. they want everything normal which is good in a way b/c it keeps us (me) grounded. they can learn to be sensitive to us. we can learn to keep on keepin' on.
get blood test if you feel "thyroid off". get new dr if yours isn't working with you

prayers sent!

Report post

This discussion is closed to replies. We close all discussions after 90 days.

If there's something you'd like to discuss, click below to start a new discussion.

Things you can do

Support ThyCa

Help ThyCa: Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Association reach its goals and support people like yourself by making a donation today.

Donate to  ThyCa: Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Association

Discussion topics

Help and information from ThyCa

Community leaders