Brazil Gordillo passed away june 16th 2009 RIP TE AMO Never for get you

Brazil Gordillo my best friend died june 16th 2009, how do i cope with this we fell in love and were taking on from there. I really did love her. The thing i think she love me for was i didnt care if she was bald form the kemo ( i still thought she was beautiful). I meet her when i was down there for a twin study and i meet her at the INN i meet her in the computer room down stairs by the game room. I asked her if she wanted to go get some ice cream and she looked at me wired. then she said "hola" i was like Ooooo so i said hola back i didnt know spanish so I got on the computer and asked her if she wanted to get some ice cream. she said yes because we were the only ones 18 and older so we wanted to hang out with people are age. well i took her out not knowing spanish i had to act every thing out and try to learn spanish at the same time, she got a kick out of it we ended up riding all over DC on the sub way. we ended up coming back to the inn at like 2am. what made me happy is that she had a smile the whole time. but the best memorie i have of us was we were wait for the train and this band in the sub way was playing i paid them 20 buck to pay somthing slow so i could dance with her and she did and then i kissed her and she kissed me back then all the couples that were dancing were claping saying yeahhhhhh and making nose cuz they new i was trying to show her a good time. then we danced for like 20min till the train came and we head back to the inn. I walled in at 2am with her close to me. the man behind and the security gard said "you to have a good night i told brazil as best as i could and with a big smile she said "SI" I was happy that she fell in love with me and i fell in love with her. I just wish i could say "good bye" one more time, the funny thing was i spent 2 more weeks with her befor she went back to guetamala i took a train all the way to the inn and stayed there just to be with her. I just wish i could call her one more time and say Te Amo thank you for leting me talk if you can tell me how come i cant stop thing about her how long ill be feeling the way i do

By Mom_of_SAPHO_child
Posted June 22, 2009 at 10:10 pm
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Hi PigPen,
First of all I would like to say sorry for your lose. I am the mother of a 6 year old boy with SAPHO Syndrome from Newfoundland, Canada. We have been to the NIH twice and will be returning August 1st.
As I read your story I was so touched and even though a part of me is sad there is another part of me that is smiling. What you must have brought into Brazil's life is priceless. I wish there were more ppl out there like you. You asked if anyone could tell you how long you will feel like this and also why can't you stop thinking about her? Well the pain varies from person to person, it may last a few weeks or it could last for months, but you will never stop thinking about her and that's a good thing. The old cliche, time heals all wounds, is true to a point and it will start to get easier and you will think of her less often as time goes by. At first when you realize that you have gone a couple of hours or even a day without thinking about her you may feel a bit guilty about it but it's all part of the healing process.
As hard as this is on you just remember that you did exactly what Brazil needed you to do and for that you are a better person. I know what you are feeling because when I was a teenager, I worked at a rehab center and lost someone that was very special to me. It is at times like this when I was reading your letter that Kevin came back to me. There are other things like a certain food or smell, or song that I hear, that makes me think of him still after 33 years since his passing. So you see, you will never forget Brazil but it does get easier as time passes.
I wish you all the happiness in the world because I truly believe that you deserve it. I admire you for what you did for Brazil and also for what you did for yourself by allowing someone as special as her into your life, even if it was for a very short time. Remember it's not how long that you two were together but the quality of the time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Karen

By FightingFox
Posted June 23, 2009 at 4:00 pm
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thankyou i really did miss her i mean i dont like the music i like befor i met her i listen to what she did and i cook latino food all the time just wishing we could cook one more time with her at the inn thankyou so much hope to talk to you again

By Mom_of_SAPHO_child
Posted June 23, 2009 at 4:30 pm
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Hi again, just wanted to let you know that if you ever feel the need to talk to someone please feel free to write me any time you want..... Are you at the Inn now? And if you are, will you be there the first week in August?

By FightingFox
Posted June 23, 2009 at 8:05 pm
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I would like to talk to you more make me feel better talking to some one. I want to thankyou for your adive i not forgeting im remebering and i want to know

By Mom_of_SAPHO_child
Posted June 24, 2009 at 2:16 pm
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Hi there again, how are things going today? I was very surprised to hear that you have an identical twin but only you have ADD/ADHD. I always thought that if you were identical then you would both have it. There are a lot of twins in my family, both identical and not identical. We have people in the family with ADD and ADHD but not with any of the twins that we know of yet. I know that I told you that I have a 6 year old son but I never told you that I also have a 21 year old daughter and she is pregnant. Not sure yet but she looks like it may be twins. Amanda is dyslexic in numbers only and is also ADD so I am glad that they are doing this study. Anyway enough about me, how are things going with you right now? It must be so hard for you because this is all so new. I don't know how much I can help you but if there is anything I can do just ask. One thing that may help is if you plant a small tree or plant in your yard in Brazil's memory then you can watch it grow every year and it's just something to remember her by. Do you know what her favorite flower was? Have to run and cook supper for my family right now but I look forward to hearing from you soon. ttyl

By FightingFox
Posted June 24, 2009 at 5:25 pm
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Im actualy moving down to guetamala when i get out of the marine corp. Im going to go to the beach we went to when i went to see her

By Mom_of_SAPHO_child
Posted June 24, 2009 at 11:30 pm
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Wow, now that is a great way to stay close to Brazil. I never realized that you actually got to go to her home town. When are you getting out of the marine corp? My Dad was in the Canadian Armed Forces for 36 years so I'm used to army life and all the moving and meeting new people all the time. It's a hard way to grow up though.....I am going to the cabin for a few days and won't have internet service up there so I will write you after the weekend to see how you are. Take care.

By FightingFox
Posted June 25, 2009 at 2:13 pm
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I get out of the marine corp in 3 years about 4 months. so i have to time to save money to get a house down there. why wouldnt i be able to visit her home town?

By Mom_of_SAPHO_child
Posted June 25, 2009 at 3:59 pm
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It just seems so far away. I've been all over Canada and parts of the states, especially over the last year taking Rylee to the NIH and I know how expensive it can be. How long does it take to fly to Guatemala? I would love to see other countries some day.

By felipeliukestler
Posted June 28, 2009 at 12:35 am
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hi i am felipe, from Coatepeque, Guatemala, BRAZIL GORDILLO was born here.
The BRAZIL´s burial is on SUNDAY, i ll send pics.

take care

god bless you

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