** Originally posted by erikaq **
hi. i just joined this site and thought i would post about my situation. i'm sure i have psoriasis though i don't have a formal diagnosis. i also do not have health insurance and can't afford to pay out of pocket to see a dr or for prescription medications. i have had psoriasis on my scalp since i was a child and have only sought treatment once, as a teenager, where the dr injected something into the area over several visits. it did nothing. since then i have had small patches on my scalp (and body) that move around, never creating a situtation serious enough to really freak me out. until now. NOW my whole freaking scalp is one big scab. it's stiff feeling and horrible and i'm picking at it constantly. i've developed this compulsive picking habit and it's driving me NUTS! i know i shouldn't be poking at it but the poking is somehow satisfying. i feel bad about it and i know i should cut it out. it just seems to relieve some of the stress i feel which i'm sure is largely to blame for this extreme flare up. i've been wearing my hair in ponytails to keep me from poking at it and that helps, but what i really need is to make it GO AWAY! then i'll really be able to stop poking it. i know there are no easy answers. mainly i wanted to make this post because i feel really bad about this situation and i don't know anyone who would understand. i read in one of the other posts that psoriasin worked well for a few folks so maybe i'll try that. i just HAVE to get this back to a tolerable level before i pick myself bald.
o, i also read something about someone redecorting and choosing floor cover that would hide flakes? boy, i can dig it. i have to watch the poking at my scalp because i will soon cover myself with a blanket of flakes. unless i'm home alone i do not do it.
another thing, it's not really helping my self esteem. you can see it around the edges of my hair line and my boyfriend comments on it. one time, and i'll never forget this, i had some flakes in the front of my forehead and he noticed it. he looked at me with such disgust and told me that maybe i should consider always wearing hats. another smooth thing he said was when he notice the dime sized patch on my upper arm he exclaimed, 'GOD! what is that!'. i told him is was eczema because somehow that sounded less bad? i know that's stupid. i just felt bad. and i felt worse after his response. he shouted, 'are you *sure*! *i* think it's *cancer*!! so i feel pretty crappy about it. other people have pointed it out, too, and i always feel so bad. even though they try to react neutrally i can see they are weirded out, or grossed out, or bothered in some way. it makes me feel just awful.
anyway, sorry for the ridiculously long post. and thanks for listening.