On this site we often talk about how long it takes to "get over" having an SCA. Usually the response is that we still think about it a lot, but we are able to go on with our day to day lives...
My first SCA was almost 3 years ago. My second one was 1 1/2 years ago. Last night I was with my husband, leaving a funeral home of all places, and I became extremely dizzy and needed to grab onto him. The only time I remember ever getting that dizzy was when I had my 2nd SCA and then found myself on the kitchen floor.
It turned out to be nothing with my heart. But my reaction to the whole incident shocked me. As soon as I grabbed onto my husband I went into a complete panic. I started sobbing and couldn't catch my breath (I think from crying so hard.) Even after I stopped crying, I was shaking for about an hour after.
I didn't know it was not an incident with my heart until today, when I sent the info from my ICD to the doctor. It was a huge relief, but I still can't believe the strong reaction I had...
I just wanted to try to get that out of my system.
Mary
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panic
- By Mary1
- Posted June 2, 2009 at 7:53 pm · 5 replies
- In Surviving SCA
- Shared with the public
5 replies
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- By brodielad
- Posted June 3, 2009 at 12:34 pm
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I think your reaction is entirely understandable , i also think that unless you have been through what we have its hard to grasp, I had an episode were i had all the same symptoms as my sca, i was rushed into hospital , my poor wife was so upset , i,m sure she was panicked
, beyond me , however turned out to be a viral infection in my ears ,gives you all the same signals, so now my advise to you is live your life everyday,you are unique like me we have been there and come back ,be good
- By NWWriter
- Posted June 3, 2009 at 12:58 pm
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Hi Mary,
I've only had one shocking incident from my ICD and that was years ago. It was a multiple shock and I remained conscious, but I still remember the heaviness as I imagined it happening again... Just imagining the SCA reality and the resulting ICD charge made me anxious.
I'm not surprised that you felt how you felt yesterday and my guess is it's normal. I learned to address my SCA and the later ICD charge from a PTSD perspective and those exercises helped a lot. You have a recent memory of lightheadedness leading to an arrest, so although it feels like it's been a long time, it really hasn't considering the size and seriousness of that event. The feeling of helplessness when the device is firing is exhausting and frightening. Whether we consciously remember it or not, our unconscious brain DOES and it automatically hits "survival mode!" which triggers the panic and rapid breathing which increases the heart rate which is the intentional response of a brain that thinks it's "at risk".
You're conscious mind did GREAT yesterday considering the dimensions of what you were imagining. Maybe the PTSD therapy system would help in overcoming that unconscious brain's anxiety and panic and I'm glad you shared the weight of this with others. One of the most damaging behaviors of PTSD survivors is "isolation", so keep reaching out.
Mary L
- By Paul_Pakusch
- Posted June 4, 2009 at 7:44 am
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Mary L,
I am Mary1's husband. Your analysis of the "panic and rapid breathing which increases the heart rate" makes a lot of sense. It sounds like a survival reaction by the body (adrenaline), and therefore something not to be feared.
I find all that very interesting because I experienced that myself when Mary had her first SCA. I was with her and had CPR coaching from 911 until firemen arrived. Several months later, we heard on the 911 tape that my heavy breathing was quite prominent in the phone call. I was definitely running on adrenaline. But later on in the ER, after Mary was in the hands of doctors and they were done asking me about what had happened, it was me who suddenly started feeling faint. As if I knew my "duty" to get Mary help was done, so now my body could relax its survival/adrenaline mode. Interesting.
- By Mary1
- Posted June 5, 2009 at 5:57 pm
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Mary L.,
I am definitely not one to isolate myself when something bad happens! I like to joke that when my friends and family get tired of hearing about it, I'll just grab someone from off the street!
I am doing much better. I'm glad I posted my "incident." Thank you to you and to Brodielad for responding! I love this forum and all of the supportive people on it!
Mary :-)
- By NWWriter
- Posted June 5, 2009 at 11:45 pm
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Hi Mary1 and Paul,
The brain is a wonderful thing and I would never had learned so much about it had it not been for my sca. Funny twist, huh? Paul, your delayed response was exactly what you said: your brain said "OK, NOW you can "feel" instead of "think"..." Plus, it's hard, strenuous work to do cpr alone!
And Mary, I love this site, too.
Mary L
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