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Hi , i was wondering how one deals with your husband or wife, or significant other ,my wife has been a rock for me since my sca,dec22-08, but i feel guilty and a burden to her , as she worries about me, i,m being treated for deppresion, and have troubles with all the medication i have to take ,which alters who i am sometimes , thanks
Hi,
Im 39 years and mother of 02 kids 4 & 1 years
I also had SCA for the first time in last September and again in November. An ICD has been implanted to me in December for VF and after that I got 2 shocks for during first 4 months.
My husband also worries about me so I can understand your feeling very well. We feel bad to give them this hard time... we feel sorry for them... as well fear of losing the kids.... thinking of their future without us….
However, what i think is when we get married we each other would be there either we are happy or sad. Specially we need someone to be with us in this type of situations... I think they know it and they do it very positively... and that is a sudden thing.. and of course they don’t want to lose us... they might be very sad, upset.. but the same time they want to give their full support to us...
Don’t think too much... I am just 39 years.. my kids are small... so i have to live for them...but even I am trying to have my normal life... I know its so hard... but what to do... is there any choice?... we have to live with that. Take it positively... after SCAs still we are alive... still we are with them....
Finally i want to tell you that.... whatever best or worst never lasting forever.... the life is a wheel... it turns... happiness, disappointments, sadness, emptiness comes and goes....
Take care
Amindya
Hi bodielad,
I have been in your shoes and am still walking in them. I suffered my sca in oct. 2006, implanted with an icd and then went back in and had a lead changed and back in the next night to have that lead changed. Went into deep depression and was on two meds to deal with that. I was never mean or angry but broke down many times and cried at any little thing. Guess thats from knowing how close i was to death and every little thing touched me deeply. Now for you spouce, what i have to say here may sound wierd but here it goes. Its only been 6 months and you are still at the point of being scared of whats going to happen and so is your spouse. I know at this point in time you are feeling stronger and know you can do more things then you use too after the sca. What you need to do is do more things for yourself even if you spouse tells you NO. Go out and mow the yards if you can, take walks, exercise, just go out and live life and enjoy the things you want. Life is to short to sit and pout about what has happened to you. Tell you wife every day that you love her and thank her for helping you. Through all of this ( and i mean what i say here )
You will find out just how much your wife loves you or not. Right now, 31 months out from my sca, I found that my wife of 32 years felt more for the things i could buy and not for me. She thought she couldn't handle all the things around the house that i use do cause she wouldn't let me do any of them. Now that she left me for another man i have to do them anyway, go figure. If your wife is there for you tell her you love her and if she's there for you at this time and stays and helps till you get back on your feet.... she loves you. I am now off my depression meds and am feeling better everyday now. Don't know if this will help you or not but I just had to get this out of my soul, think it will do me more good then you. Thanks
Hi Brodielad,
I'm going through your shoes as well i think a lot are i'm at least lucky that i only have to look after myself and not worry bout an SO which i think is good right now. Depression seems to be a common thing amongst us SCA surivors but i'm slowly learning that you will come out of it keep your chin up hugs
Pamela
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