Dealing with neurosarcoids and neurosarcoids has the BETTER hand!

I have been dealing with this neurosarcoids for 4 years now. I have been doing everything that I am susposed to do like take meds, dr appt.s and tests. How am I susposed to keep up-beat and positive if I feel like crap! I have headaches most of the time with ear pain. I also have sarcoids in my right ear now! My right leg feels like I am dragging a 50 lb. weight on it. I don't know if this is from my stroke or coming from my sarcoids. After work I am so tired and fatigued and not to mention when I am at work also! I come home and I just collapse from being so tired. I would love to quit working but that is not an option for me. I just don't understand why and how I got this disease. Nobody can tell me. I really hate this disease and having it also. Neurosarcoids has taken so much from me these past 4 years and probably will continue the rest of my life. To me this is not what I wanted my life to be. I guess the joke is on me. I have been robbed of my normal life, a job that I loved to do, my pay rate not to mention my added bills and other medical expenses, and my need for all the medications I am on to help with this stupid disease. Right now my head hurts along with my ear also. I worked an 8 hr day tonight and my right leg is really sore tonight. My mind is having trouble concentrating because it hurts so bad. Everytime I start to feel better my head will start to hurt. I just need a break from all of this. I feel that I am losing in this battle and there is nothing I can do to make all this go away! Sorry if it sounds like I am complaining. I am going to go now and try to get some rest now. Thank you inadvance for listening to me!
Neurogirl