I feel so Blahhhhh................

Lets see where to begin well got my biopsy results back about 2 wks ago i still have fsgs and know i also have iga, so the docs r taking me off my cyclosporine and utting me on cytoxin for 3 months since in 5 months on the cytoxin it will have completely fried my ovaries, and well if in 3 months this doesnt work then there is one more med they want to try and if that dont work then idk whats going to happen next, but for now i can only hope for the best.... I also need to stop feeling down about everything the past few days after my therapist gave me a new depression med to try i felt great now im kinda going down hill again, but i think its do to me thinking about how my ex husband is getting married already and how all my other exbfs have moved on so easily, it kinda makes me feel so alone idk why, all i would like is to have a great bestfriend to share my thoughts with besides my family and someone to cuddle up to every now and again, someone i might beable to live the rest of my life with and who loves me for me, and who doesnt judge me do to physical changes that i go through do to stupid meds ( like all the othe bfs have done to me ). Its kinda funny in a real pain in the ass way on how crule people can be when they have know idea what your going through its kinda like they dont even try to see it from your perspective, and thats not right.and its not just about looks , they fade after a while its all about personality and communication between two people... Know im not saying im perfect far from it lol, but i have my mood swings just like anyone else and ive always apologized for any one who got caught in my bitchieness, cause it isnt their faults, they just kinda happened to be there, but that rearly happens but when it does im the first to say sorry. But i do have to say this since ive been sick and gone through alot of physical changes and all ive noticed who my real friends are and who wasnt, this showed me the people who truely care about me no matter how thik or thin i am and no matter how moody or depressed i get they try to understand me and help me through it and to all of thoes who are there for me remember im always there for you no matter what and thank you very much for all you have done, even if you just say i miss you kimi and i hope you are feeling better that means the world to me you are true friends......well thats all i have to talk about lol oh and if anyone reads this and dont like the bad words i do apologizes for that, its just sometimes stuff can be expressed a little more with certian words..... and do feel free to comment or ask me question and just talk its good to vent sometimes and its even easier to let it all out to someone you dont know sometimes too...........well good luck everyone and thank you all for your support