alone...

why do I feel so alone? i have family and friends a son. Yet everyday I am alone. no one can feel my pain. No one understands nerve pain around me. When I say my head hurts they think its like a headache. Its not like a headache . I try my hardest to describe this feeling but they wont understand. How can they. My depression has gotten worse making me feel more alone. The nerve block did not work instead it made the pain worse. i cant be upset because i would always wonder if i hadnt tried. I am alone. My friends have all left and dont call back because i am not myself anymore. I dont know who i am. My family is getting tired and I dont blame them. They do not help to talk to they dont understand. i am alone. I write these journals and people respond and its great. i dont see any of them and to me human contact is important. i am alone. I try to bring myself out of this funk in my head but it always comes back. this is all i have pain and the funk in my head depression anger sadness. Things i feel when i am all alone. what is it going to take to not be alone. I have faith and hope. I do believe that there is an answer somewhere. But right now in this moment I am alone waiting hopeing wishing dreaming to not be alone with pain or without i just want to not be alone. I will get there somday but what about today. This hour this minute because when you are in this much pain you can only think from one minute to the next.