I am 54 and feel sad about a lot of aspects of my life. As a person coping with schizoaffective disorder for many years and spending many years in and out of hospitals, I regret not having done many things in my life. I wish I would have married and had a family. Also I never had a career.
I'm trying to focus on things I can feel proud of . I've lost a lot of weight (30-40 lbs.) and several pants sizes. I now have a healthy diet and rarely crave unhealthy food. I should exercise some more, but I do a lot of walking.
I'm slowly gaining bits of recognition and acceptance in the various artistic fields I pursue. Presently, I sing in two choirs, am involved with a special project for artists with mental illness, and I've joined an acting workshop. So I am busy.
The biggest hangup I have is my constant comparison with other people, especially young women who are thin and attractive. I know I can never look the way I did when I was younger, so I am trying to find a new identity. I try to help friends who struggle with issues that are more problematic than mine. I guess I'm trying to cope the best way I can. My motto is "keep on keeping on." I just keep plugging away at my goals.
Thanks for reading this entry. I hope it's not too confusing to read.



