Exhausted....hurting....mad

I don't even know what to feel or say anymore,what to ask the Drs.,what to be concerned about (worry),what to do or not do.......this world of renal disease is overwhelming to me.....I think I understand what's going on with Emmy then...BAM...something new and unknown happens.....I'm full of questions,and want to know things and that annoys people.....it's exhausting to me.....As a nurse I was determined that my number one goal was patient advocacy...helping my patients to understand their health care needs thru education and resources so they could make their own informed decisions.....is there really any choices to medicine ??? doesn't feel like it.....so far I have been quoted as emotional and obsessed with my daughter and her illness, education, and needs.....when I felt I was putting fourth every effort to educate myself to better care for her...... my goal was/is...education...prevention...and preservation of her kidneys and her health.....the last year has been incredible....one very sick child with one illness after another...new Dx early proliferative FSGS with hyalinosis.....still spilling fluctuating protein....started ace inhibitor with no real results yet (18 days)...am I crazy because I don't want any protein?...and now she has a platelet count of 130,000 (Thrombocytopenia) which is the lowest it's ever been but her WBC was 7 which is much better than the 3-4 she hung out at for awhile...she stays ill and tired...she slept 14 hours yesterday...but had a energy boost last nite and we attempted to catch up homework...and played and giggled some....I just feel exhausted with trying to deal with Drs. and school issues on top of trying to make sense out of all of this and do whats best for Emmy....I am mad and I don't like feeling this way....I have to make decisions but no one wants me to ask questions but yet I am responsible for the choices I make...to Emmy and God....I do love my God but I don't seem to be able to hear him well lately...or maybe I'm not listening like I should because of all the confusion...I thought I was doing okay but maybe not....my Baby is sick....my Mom has terminal heart disease,lupus and much more....my mother in law is 81 and my sweet husband is her primary caregiver and wore out...but loves her dearly...he is with her 3-5 nites a week....and I have this new dx of pulmonary hypertension...that quite frankly scares me to death....my son just moved from NC to Florida to start his adult life....its all crazy...and it all hurts me deeply...but I am suppose to manage it all without challenging anyone with my petty questions....oh well...what to do....but keep on keeping on with prayer, faith, hope.......and of course courage lots of courage!!!!! Thanks for listening to me whine....the tears have stopped for now...time to pull it together and challenge today!!!!! God Bless all of you wonderful people who take the time to read, care and pray for my daughter,myself and my family!!!!!! You all are in our prayers too!!!