"You Can't Have That or You'd Be Dead By Now!"

• By michellerk
• Posted March 2, 2010 at 11:33 pm
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My PCP has shocked me on many occassions, however I haven't taken the time to find a new one, because I see my Rhuematologist every 3-4 months, so unless I get an unrelated cold/infection, I don't need to see her. I often try to avoid it because her office visits have a WAIT time of 2 1/2 + hours (thats not including the actual visit, which is usually 15-20 min) Here are a few of the wonderful experiences I've had with her...

"Oh, yeah, I'm familiar with that drug...I prescribe it all the time." I explain it doesnt seem to be working that well to which she responds..."well let me look that up, not sure what the highest dose you can take is..." I'm sorry, you prescribe it all the time but you don't know the max dosage?

I found a lump in my breast and was obviously concerned so I went in to see her. "Well its highly unusual that its cancer, because you're only 20, but given your family history (four of my five great-aunts, and my grandmother have all had breast cancer--all but my gram have died from it) I'm going to send you to a boob doctor" seriously! I'm not making that up! thats what she called the specialist she sent me to! How professional is that? How bout Oncologist who specializes with Breast health...or something to that effect?

From the receptionist and xray tech where I got my Mammogram..."are you sure thats what you're here for? You're too young to be getting a mammogram" Yeah, like I'd volunteer for it just for fun...they hurt people!

My pcp, after reading the report from the "boob dr" ..."good news, you don't have cancer..you just have a lot of fatty tissue in there, If you feel more let me know right away, but chances are you'll always have them."

Needless to say, she worries me, but I rarely have to see her (seen her twice in the last 3 1/2 years) and its a pain to switch/find a new dr...so here I have remained...

• By oojackapivvy
• Posted March 15, 2010 at 3:03 pm
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I've got scoliosis, possibly (I'd say almost certainly, but what do I know only being the person with the symptoms!) as part of a wider connective tissue disorder. I was fused T10-L2, and the twit that did it not only got a very poor correction despite curve flexibility, but also took the opportunity to reverse my lordosis into a kyphosis. Unsurprisingly (although it was a heck of a surprise to me, having been told I was fixed, go away and have a nice life!) I developed major problems including constant pain. Here's a couple of NHS (UK health system) classics related to it:

Moved to a new area, couldn't get registered with the GP for several weeks, but needed painkillers before that. Was therefore seen as an out-of-area patient, with no history except what I was able to give. Doc was frankly sceptical of my need, and that my back could be the kind of mess I described. Asked to examine it, I said sure. He gave it a thorough feel over, stepped away looking distinctly green and said in a faint voice "It is rather.....undulating.....isn't it?" and promptly wrote me up for 200 co-dydramol when the most anyone had ever given me in one go before was 100!

Got referred to a specialist, who confirmed the mess, and got me MRId, which showed complete degeneration of the disc below the fusion, which was almost certainly the source of much of the pain. He then told me that there was enough on film for me to be written up for urgent surgery, but that he wanted me to think very seriously about whether I wanted it done now, because my connective tissue was such that when they extended the fusion the next disc down would inevitably go and I'd have to have another extension and so on, and that while they could do that, I really should think about the NHS and whether it was fair to put that pressure on it's resources when I could choose to continue as I was until at least one more disc had gone on it's own before having any surgery!

A couple of others:
How could you possibly know you were having a miscarriage when you've never had one before?

What were the symptoms? How would *you* know you were running a fever?

You can't have had a transfusion reaction. If you'd been given the wrong blood, you would have come very close to death. Um, yeeeeeeeees, that might be why my temperature shot through the roof and all my veins collapsed and I nearly died then?

Your pain can't possibly have been so high that you were passing out. You don't get that level of pain after a spine surgery. (My ex and and my now-husband both confirm that when the pain was getting really bad it was quite clear that I was passing out from it, just that that is slightly less obvious to an uncaring observer when you're already horizontal and thus don't fall over.)

I really think you should have the 3 month injection, *not* the oral contraceptive pill, as it is quite clear you cannot be trusted with your contraception. (This after becoming pregnant with an IUD in situ, and having the aforementioned miscarriage as a consequence of blood group issues which were adirect result of the mis-transfusion that apparently never occurred - the IUD went when I miscarried.)

So you've had a spine surgery and a knee surgery, and a history of joint complaints and now you're coming to me complaining about joints again. What was the spine surgery for, and the knee surgery? Hmm. So the knee surgery turned out to be unnecessary I see. I really think we need to consider a psychiatric referral, because who knows what you'll seek surgery for next? (I should note the knee surgery was done only after an MRI and although the meniscus was not torn in a flap, there were massive scratches and signs of damage to it from, one presumes, the injury which led to the knee problems in the first place!)

I think that'll do for now - nowhere near as good (!) as some of them, but there's been some amusement at least in writing them out :o)

• By Reruho
• Posted March 23, 2010 at 12:35 am
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I thought this would be hard but the stories kept coming out of me.

My 58 year old husband went to the doctor about the nails on his toes, he has had a chronic fungal infection since his days in Viet Nam. The doctor comes in and cuts his nail off. My husband is in shock. The doctor proudly proclaims, " I can do that because I have a white coat." My husband never went back to see him.

I enrolled my son in ADHD medication study. We were at a point when I had to give him 5-7 pills each morning. This particular morning was quite stressful and I happened to get distracted and I gave him his medicine twice. I call the study doctor and he sends us to the ER. My husband has the car and my military ID card, so I can't get on the base or get him medical treatment. When we finally get him to the ER, my son is calm but complaining about the IV. The doctors keep asking me if he is acting normal. I tell them, "THIS IS WHAT THE MEDICINE IS SUPPOSED TO DO, MAKE HIM CALM."

It turned out I could have given him 10 times his regular dose without any problems.

I go to the ER with classic gallbaldder attack symptoms. They run labs, which come back normal. I am sent home with pain killers and muscle relaxers to treat a strained back. A couple of years later I learn I have biliary dyskinesia (low functioning gallbladder), my GB doesn't empty properly. With this condition, labs will be normal and an ultrasound will be clear. My Hida scan shows an ejection fraction of 15%, normal is 35 to 75 %. (It only took 20 years to get the correct diagnosis.)

I see a surgeon to schedule GB surgery. I complain at the next appoinment that his exam caused me pain for several days. He says something else must be causing your pain and sends me to a psychologist to be evaluated for depression.
The psychologist evaluating me for depression asks me why I am there. I tell him to be cleared for surgery, he remarks I have never had a patient come to me for that reason.
The doctor and psychologist acted surprised when i tell them they are being dishonest with me. I tell them, " If the surgeon thought something else was causing my pain, why didn't he send me back to the GI. If he thought I was depressed, why didn't he say that." The surgeon's response was, " I thought I was clear about that." After jumping through hoops for 2and half months he get deployed to Afghanistan and doesn't do the surgery.

I went to the GYN to evaluate post menopausal bleeding. He calls with the biopsy results and says, "It was normal but we are sending out for a second opinion." At the followup appointment I mention that this comment left confused me why it needed a 2nd opinion, his response was, "I thought I was clear about that."

I see the GYN about post menopausal bleeding, after 16 months of not bleeding. I ask him where that puts me on the road to menopause. He was honest and said," I don't know," and then adds, "Does it matter?"

Reta

• By Desianne
• Posted March 31, 2010 at 6:59 pm
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Hi Ellen!

Cute idea you came up with. I'd complained of severe pain for about a year (turned out to be my gallbladder) and the stupid doc I was going to at the time said "Well, you shouldn't be having that pain!"

Needless to say, I changed physicians.

• By zxcvbnm
• Posted May 4, 2010 at 10:44 pm
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I had a Cat scan, and the doctor came out and said in his native oriental tongue..get this....."you in pain because you mouth hurt..."
I was so stunned i didn't pay the bill for 2 years, that's why he didn't have my money !!

• By sneaky_bisquit
• Posted May 5, 2010 at 8:27 am
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i am a nurse and drs say the silliest things...had a heart catherazation and the dr said my heart was "show room quality" huh? i have a heart murmur and i guess he was
thinking of the car he was going to buy when i paid him...

had a dr say there was nothing wrong with my neck...and i said "do you want to change necks?" he got me out of the office fast after calling me "Vivian"...my name is diane. he said he was tired...that cost me $385

i have sps and in 16 yrs no one tested for it after seeing every neuro in our area...then one dr said i am
testing you for a disease and i don't even remember what the test is called..he had to look it up...it came back positive and he was surprised...i had the test done 3 times before i got the # of GAD antibodies...150 and anything over 30 is positive...so he sent me to another neuro because he didn't know about sps...i was his second pt in 30 yrs of practice...

i went to a pain specialist for my neck and he said" your neck is screwed...nothing we can do for that"

God Bless all the drs who really try to help pts because i have seen the best...i just wonder sometimes what they really are trying to tell me...

i watched Gunsmoke and Doc holiday said"your not doing as well as we expected" the pt said"you mean my innereds are messed up?his answer was "yep" i wonder if we have come any further since the cowboy days:)

• By xx47
• Posted May 6, 2010 at 3:27 am
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Ellen you can bet your DR's thinks your a hypochondriac is to the reason they say half that stuff to you its like me they say everything thats wrong with me is my nearves.

I May be a hypochondriac but im a bloody sick one.

• By xx47
• Posted May 6, 2010 at 3:30 am
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One DR said to me Rod your gotto be bloody sick to die

• By AndrewF
• Posted May 20, 2010 at 8:52 am
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While filling out paperwork to be admitted to the ER:
Nurse: "You Blood Oxygen level is like 60%!
How are you even STANDING here!?!"
Me: "You called me up here to fill out this paperwork."
Nurse: "How do you FEEL right now your white as a s
ghost!?!
Me: "I've had better days..."

• By missfitz
• Posted May 28, 2010 at 12:40 am
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Thanks so much for starting this convo! Lemme add a few classics:

1) "Also, doctor, my stomach is really distended." He looks and pokes my swollen belly, and responds, "Have you tried sit-ups?"

2) "You're too pretty to be sick!" Who knew flush and fever could provide such cosmetic enhancements?

3) GI specialist says nothing to me. Hands me a prescription for Prozac.

4) "I'm not going to treat you as a sick person because you don't look like a sick person." No exam, no tests. Just a 3-hour wait, 45 second appointment, and $125 bill.

5) "It's a pulled muscle. The other symptoms are because you're over-reacting."

And, of course, the one we've all heard:
6) "Your symptoms are impossible."

On a serious note, I hope that a few doctors scan through these. As it turned out, numbers 1-3 were doctor's responses to appendicitis (6 months to diagnose). 4-6 were responses to systemic mastocytosis. (7 years to reach diagnosis) and both were nearly fatal.

But I'm still here, and glad to be able to laugh about it!

• By Leann777
• Posted May 28, 2010 at 7:32 pm
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Well, there is something definitely wrong with her but I just don't know what it is. Lets just watch her. (UUUGGGHH. I could have just killed that doc!!)

• By Pastor_Nellie
• Posted May 30, 2010 at 6:16 pm
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Before diagnosed with MCTD: "you don't go by the book. What do you want me to do?

• By chipsanddip
• Posted June 3, 2010 at 6:27 pm
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This is some funny stuff... here's a couple more:

I went to my old GP before I was dx with sleep maintenance insomnia (bursts in stages 3&4 sleep, means no deep sleep), and postural othrostatic tachycardia syndrome, plus many more.... I went to him complaining of crippling fatigue and he says "You're perfectly fine, just a tired healthy girl". Years later, he still does not know what POTS is, but had instructions on the back of his clip board on how to test patients for it by checking BP&HR laying down and standing up. Hilarious, he never looked at his clipboard.

This year, went to pulmonary doc, at 40, have mild emphysema, shortness of breathe, intolerance to alcohol, etc. So, I ask him to test for Alpha-1 anytitrypsin deficiency. He looked at me like I was crazy and said to stop looking things up online. He relented and tested in the office for it, turns out I am a carrier, hence the early onset emphysema. grrrrrrr

I'd say 1 out of 30 docs are decent at best.

I love reading these posts...

• By anastasia
• Posted June 14, 2010 at 3:08 pm
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After mutliple visits to the ER for what felt like Cardiac symptoms (with no results) the dr from the "Parkland Overflow" emergency room came in to my room while my mother was not there and patted me on the back and said 'nothing is wrong with you' and 'your numbers look fine, I saw them myself, there is nothing wrong with you' (my blood pressures were clearly indicative of a significant cardiovascular problem) I will never forget that mans face as he seemed to so thoroughly enjoy telling me that. If I had the energy, I probably would have hit him for mocking the total hell I had been in for the weeks leading up to that not to mention the permanant damage I have as a result of his total idiocy and delaying my treatment as this was the second time I had been there for serious symtpoms indicative of a cardiovascular issue.

My mother intervened and not long afterwords, a different doctor was involved who found the problem and I was promptly scheduled for cardiac bypass. Unfortunatly, the incident with the ER doctor has created a bit of 'white coat' syndrome now I have panic attacks when I have to go to the doctors office because I can't trust them anymore

• By ataylor05
• Posted June 15, 2010 at 2:17 pm
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My 12 year old son has seen countless doctors over the last two years due to chronic back pain, believed to be spinal cord injury received during 6th lumbar puncture but can't get a md to to do proper testing to prove it. He couldn't walk for 3 weeks after LP and has since develpoed spasticity, severe central nervous system dysfunction, chronic headache and widespread neuropathic pain. Here are some of the things that we have heard this year alone:
1) You're not really in that much pain, you just have a low pain tolerance.
2) You need to toughen up.
3) It's all in your head!
4) It's over our heads. You'll need to see a nother pediatric neurologist for this. Me: Can you refer me to one? Them: I don't really know of any you haven't already seen!
5) You already have had too many tests. It'll just confuse further MDs if we keep looking and testing. It's too much paperwork to sort through!
6) You don't have injury...you're just lazy, depressed and deconditioned. You need to get out of the house more. So when we take our son out against our better judgment, he collapses and we go straight to the ER where they say we need better specialists, but can't refer us to any!
7) One of the best is how I have to spell and explain my son's conditions and meds to about 80% of the healthcare providers we see!
8) This is too complex and complicated for us!
There's so many more, I just can't think of them right now!!!!!

• By BoniSue
• Posted July 7, 2010 at 10:57 am
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The line I hear the most is:
You are too young to have all these problems.
(Quick some one tell my disability that i am too young and to go away.)

Also:
Are you causing your reactions to the medications.
(Who would want a reaction? I want to get better.)

• By 2inoklahoma
• Posted July 7, 2010 at 1:00 pm
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After tons of antibiotics, due to my Eosinophilia that was not an infection after all and my mastocytosis, I developed a Chronic Yeast Overgrowth that ran uncheck for a really long time. It wasn't until I found it growing around my peg tube and in the extension set (that consequently a pulmonary doc at my work saw and diagnosed) that this was discovered. She had a lab analysis ran on this and we took it to my gi doc who treated it and then referred me to an infectious disease doctor.

His response: "You don't have that! (with the lab proof in hand) If you did you would be way sicker! " (This after being treated by more antibiotics and 5 rounds of high strength diflucan! I hatefully told him I was way sicker before all the diflucan! Duh!