Wacky "Scientific" Medical Theories

We've all experienced them. We've all wondered if our doctors parked their brains at the door when they entered medical school. So do tell, what wacky "scientific" diagnosis, treatment, or other nonsense have you been told by your medical practictioner?

I'll start the list with a few of my favorites (not!):

1. If you are depressed, you can't have a physical ailment. People who are depressed don't get sick. Mental illness provides 100% protection from other medical problems.

2. 75% of medical problems can be cured by just losing a little weight. Why don't we get rid of the hospitals and just put in a few weight loss clinics?

3. The other 25% of medical problems can be cured by not smoking. To bad I don't smoke. If I did, I could just quit smoking and cure my chronic illness.

4. Rare diseases do not occur in real life, only in textbooks. Enter my "Twilight Zone" life, a "fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. . .the Twilight Zone" (weird music plays).

5. Just exercise to get rid of your __________ (fill in the blank with your symptoms). Really? Do treadmills count as "durable medical equipment"?

6. If your insurance won't pay to treat it, you don't have it.

7. If your insurance will pay to treat it and your lab work shows you have it, we will treat it even if you are asymptomatic and this problem is not a danger to you.

8. If a treatment isn't working, just keep trying. It can't hurt as long as the insurance company is paying for it. Maybe we will get lucky. (I have actually been told something along these lines more than once!).

8. Drugs work better if they are new.

9. Drugs that are new work even better if a pretty pharmaceutical company rep visits me every week with free samples.

Cathy ( who has a perpetually puzzled look upon entering any medical establishment ).