Newborn baby in NICU and my mom dying of pancreatic cancer

• By schester99
• Posted October 22, 2009 at 12:23 pm
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So sorry for all you are going through! It is rough to have either of those things going on, I know cause I've done both. Lost my mom to colon cancer when I was 22. And my daughter was in NICU for 24 days- born weighing a whole 3lbs. But I didn't have to do both at the same time. I pray that your mom passes peacefully, and that your brother will find the strength and courage to carry on.

Praying for your precious little one too, that he will get stronger and stronger each day, and that you have great care at the hospital you are at. We did when my daughter was in NICU and it made all the difference.

For you I pray for lots of support from friends and family, and for comfort, and peace as well. Believe it or not this time of stress will one day be in the past. You will find peace in knowing your mom won't be suffering or in pain. You will also have memories of her in your heart to last a life time, and those you will pass on to your son/children. My mother never really knew her grandchildren, but they know her well because I never stopped telling them about her.

Don't let depression take over your life or the loss of her life keep you from living your life with joy and or keep you from being the best you you can be, it would dishonor her. Our parents love us and want us to be happy even after they are gone. Rely on God's strength and cling to the hope of the resurrection that will reunite us with our departed loved ones in Christ's glory.

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• By denisehenshaw
• Posted October 22, 2009 at 11:36 pm
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I really believe the lord lead you to answer my post @schester99. timely words of comfort.
I have already thought about how I wont be able to enjoy my life when she does go to be woth the Lord.
Mom told me tonight she is ready to go but scared.. she is worn out.
I know that the Lord allowed her first grandbaby to be here early so she would be able to enjoy him and hold him even though he is still in the nicu.
I made a journal for my son and mentioned his "maw maw" in there several times so I know he will have memories of her.
Hopsice came in last night and said she is starting the dying process ... she has what is called terminal restlessness... where she cant sleep and is afraid with lights off and just so anxious.
This is so very new to me.
the only piece of faith I have left that I can speak out of my mouth is, : God I know you are a good God reguardless" I cant een really pray anymore but I can say it is because of his mercy that I am not consumed and he is good no matter what.
People ask me how I am handling both of this circumstances at this time and i tell them I have no idea..
please keep our family in prayer..
xox so much
Denise

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• By schester99
• Posted October 23, 2009 at 6:49 am
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I added you to my friends list. Hang in there! I hope you have some local support; a church or close friends and family. People to help make sure YOU are being taken care of. I had people bring food, do house work for me, stay with my other children while my baby was in the NICU. The odd thing is that even when your life is in chaos the world keeps spinning in orbit, bills still need to get paid, you need to eat, laundry and house cleaning need to be done. And yet finding time to be at the hospital about 8-12 hours a day and pump breast milk had to be top priorities as well (at least it was for me).

Add into this mix that your mom is in her final stage of life. Its just a lot and its hard to see God's goodness thru all the mess, especially when you are super exhausted. I found that afterward when the chaos of the moment past, and I looked back it was then I could see where God was at work. Friends he placed in my life, helpers that were like angels to me.

Its good you are already preparing to share the memories of your mom. My mom spent one year with my eldest child before she passed. In that time she had a friend video tape her talking to my daughter/and any other future grand children. I think having to leave that which was so precious to her and the thought of them not knowing her was very difficult for her. The video taping she did helped her to prepare for death and feel like she was still leaving them with a piece of herself, a way they could know her visually, hear her voice, and know her personality. She talked to them about how she wished she could be there to see them grow up, graduate high school, get married, have children, but she assured them she would see all that from heaven and indeed be there in those moments.

I see that your son has sickle cell trait. I'm not all that familiar with that. I do know sickle cell is a blood disorder in which the shape of the cell is not normal, these abnormal cells likely die too quickly and cause anemia. My granddaughter has a rare blood disorder as well, similar to sickle cell. Its called hereditary spherocytosis. Her blood cells are also not the normal disc shape, but rather in the shape of a sphere. They get stuck in small blood vessels and ultimately are destroyed by her spleen, which causes aplastic anemia. Poor thing had to get transfused when she was only 3 weeks old. She is thriving now so we are blessed. My daughter has had a rough start to motherhood, this baby has been sick and in the hospital too many times in her short 6 month life. We just keep praying her back to health. You do the same with your son. Prayer works!

Well good luck! I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

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• By denisehenshaw
• Posted October 23, 2009 at 7:54 am
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Yes I have already thought of the videotape "diaries" amd I am going to do that soon.
today I am headed to the hospita;l because Ezra's dr wants me to meet wiht him promplty at 8am to dicuss his health issues..
thank you so much for the prayers!! they are need so much,.
i will keep u posted
Denise

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