Since my diagnosis I have viewed life differently. I truly value the good moments more and more though the bad moments are still so very hard to bare sometimes. I have the worst time with the pain that just stops me from doing anything and everything I want to do!! It' hard to stay focused and positive through the pain but I'm learning....
I wrote the poem Loveology last summer when they started testing to find a reason for my chest pain and thought I might have Leukemia because my bone marrow showed up abnormal but further testing concluded that I didn't have that....but they stopped testing for other reasons until a crisis at Christmas and that's when they found this illness....hope you enjoy the poem.
LOVEOLOGY
The secret to a healthy life
Pull me, push me,
Rip me apart.
I feel no peace,
As I clutch my heart.
They speculate the cause,
This constant pain.
The doctors point at x-rays
Searching for blame.
Can you measure a heart ache
In an EKG?
If they took an x-ray
What would they see?
Would an MRI
With it’s contrast dye,
Reveal the scars
And why we cry?
In their crisp white coats,
With framed degrees,
They analyze and hypothesize
Yet what do they see?
Can they see within my soul?
Do they see my tears?
Can they read my mind
As they instill more fear?
No, they see all
Yet they are blind,
As they ignore the truth
Within scientific signs.
Lost in results,
The science of math,
Do they see the human
Who cries and laughs?
Would a doctor write a prescription,
For happiness and bliss?
Would he prescribe laughter
And a lover’s tender kiss?
Does he not see….?
HAPPINESS, the cure,
SORROW, the disease,
For only love is pure.
Years of pain,
Enduring strife,
Decaying our bodies,
Destroying our lives.
The treatment……
Drink eight glasses of smiles,
Each and every day.
Eat plenty of laughter,
Come what may!
Begin therapy sessions,
With a certified “LOVEOLOGIST”.
And say farewell
To your Oncologist!
Picture in your mind,
Your body healed,
Your illness devoured
By the joy you feel!
Take long soothing baths,
In light and love,
It will wash away life’s pain
From high above!
Each and every day
Take your soul for a walk,
Share each other’s secrets,
Laugh and talk.
Each and every night,
Hug as often as needed,
Hold the one you love,
As the patient is treated!
Avoid all toxins,
Life’s high fat stresses.
Replace with high quantities
Of love and caresses!
At least 3 times a day,
Giggle until you pee,
Your heart will radiate,
Your soul will be free.
Health is not in a pill,
It’s how you live your life,
Begin today,
Laugh away your strife!
Stress, a carcinogen,
Laugh it away,
Seek out love and happiness
In each new day!
Each of us alone,
Has the power to heal,
Wash away the stress,
Pure joy you’ll feel!
Wash away your past,
Dismiss your pain,
Live for today,
Joy and health remain!
Sickness in the past,
In joy, now health,
Our greatest treasure,
Our only wealth!
Leslie Cottle
July 28, 2007 – 1:00 am
Copyright 2008
Inspired by a health scare and a new found appreciation for living each day to the fullest and avoiding stress, the biggest killer known to mankind!!! So I smile, no more frowns!!
I am here, happy and so fortunate!! And one more thing….love is the answer!! Feel it, be it, know it, own it, cherish it, fight for it, love it…never let it go!! OXOXOXOOXOXO
Dr. Leslie
Practicing Loveologist
P.S. This was written before I actually got properly diagnosed when I was celebrating being healthy, then came more tests and the final outcome being Systemic Mastocytosis but the words I wrote still ring true!! Everyday is a blessing and a new opportunity to live a great life filled with love and happiness. And the days that are just unbearable, hopefully we will have a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on or just a soothing voice to reassure us, everyone needs that from time to time.
Love and healing light to all!
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Loveology - a poem to inspire
- By Poetessa
- Posted March 28, 2008 at 4:57 pm · 13 replies
- In How my disease has changed my life
- Shared with the public
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13 replies
- Oldest first
- Newest first
- By spswolf
- Posted March 30, 2008 at 10:16 am
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Leslie,
An inspiring poem for sure. You must have some sort of literature background to have wrote that poem. I would love to follow your advice but I find it difficult for a variety of reasons. I really wish all of us rare disease people could find it in our hearts to live as your poem lives. Many of us "rareaphytes" may have found their way to the place you speak of but I know that some have not. Your poem may help those who are still lost in that sea of stress.
Mike
- By Poetessa
- Posted March 30, 2008 at 1:59 pm
- Report post
Hi Mike,
Thanks so much for the reply! I did write a bit of a Utopia which cannot be followed all the time by people who are sick and in pain, it was my way of dealing with what I was going through at the time which was more the frustration of not knowing what I had and trying to find the positive.
And Lord knows, I can't always live like I have described in that poem, I wishI could! I have days where I am just so burdened from either the physical pain of the disease, the isolation from having it and realizing how alone I really am in it all and the frustratin of not knowing what will happen next in terms of the treatment and how that will go....
So I guess I should say in this particular instance, practice what I preach but not as I do LOL
But also stress no matter what will make things worse so it really is important that everyone stop and take a deep breath and try not to allow it to take over, me included. I actually have a disease that makes my physically allergic to stress...what are the odds of that??
So if anything, I would love to throw a line out to those drowning in the stress of it all and let them know they are not alone in this.
Thanks again for your response Mike,
Love and light to you,
Leslie
- By Fibro_Angel
- Posted April 17, 2008 at 9:55 pm
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Leslie,
I would like to thank you for your poem!! It is nice to see that there is someone out there, like me, who channels their energies and feelings about being sick, via poetry.
If you look at more recent discussions in this group, you will find two of my poems that help me cope with being chronically ill.
I have a long poem, discussing all of my medical conditions, that is about 8 pages long. Should you or anyone else would like to read it, please send me a private email and I will send it to you.
Sharon
- By illness
- Posted July 10, 2009 at 9:06 am
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Dear Leslie, I just read your poem and it was wonderful. Have you submitted it to any one to publish. I am printing it and taping it to my computer to read every day. It is very inspiring.
You should start a book of poems that record your every day symptoms. It would help you deal with it, right? I would love to read them.
Feel better. Hugs, Diane
- By SickOfBeingSick
- Posted July 11, 2009 at 9:43 pm
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Leslie,
Thank you so much for sharing this. It's beautiful. I am saving a copy for future use. I too, am finding an outlet in writing and have started writing a book. Thx.
Cathy
- By Poetessa
- Posted July 12, 2009 at 12:49 am
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Thank you so much for your lovely comment!! It means so much to me. I have so very many poems which I usual record on put on CD's but I have never written one about being sick. I know how isolating it is to have an illness, especially that no one understands so it's so important to find ways of coping. I think sharing with others who are going through the same thing is a truly wonderful way to get through the rough days and the good ones. I would love to hear any poetry or writings from others who use that as a way of coping, it certainly helps get all that emotion out!! I would love to hear from you!!
And thanks again for the comment!!!
Love and light,
Leslie
- By masto4acure
- Posted July 13, 2009 at 9:48 am
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Hi Leslie. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem...thank you for sharing it w/ us:) I am so happy for you that you have this gift to use as an outlet and a way of dealing w/ your situation. I, too, have mastocytosis and understand the ordeal of going through diagnosis and the day-to-day challenges this disease brings. For me, playing the piano is my way of coping and de-stressing. It is so important not to forget who we were before the illness, which is still who we are beneath all the "layers." Thanks again for sharing this uplifting poem:) Hugs, Julia
- By kam3
- Posted July 26, 2009 at 10:52 am
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Sharon, Would you please send me a copie of your poem,i also suffer with fibro. Also a rare blood disease aps,hughes symdrone.Thank you very much,maybe some day my children will understand and beleive in this disease and my others.In stead of thinking,i am just faking all off this.Hope your days a filled with sunshine and less pain. Thanks, Kathy kamthree@gmail.com
- By Poetessa
- Posted July 26, 2009 at 4:08 pm
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Hi Kathy, I certainly know what you're going through, I live with the added stress of many people not taking my illness seriously because they can't actually see the pain! Its good to have others to connect with who understand and can relate! And children often just don't get it, life is all about them and moms are not allowed to be sick, they are the ones who are supposed to take care of them!! I go through the same thing with my daughter. I think one of the most painful parts of this whole ordeal is how others have responded to it or I should say not responded to it though there are sometimes surprises that come along the way when we least expect it that make it all bearable as in someone you would never expect who shows up and is there when so many are not.
I would be more than happy to send you my poem and I hope it gives you some comfort. We are all here to inspire and assist each other because we truly understand what it is to be sick and in pain.
I hope you are having a good day today!
Take good care,
Leslie
- By Cocoapuff68
- Posted August 9, 2009 at 11:18 pm
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I love this poem I am so new to this Mastocytosis DX I am 40 year old mother of 5 and my life has come to a complete halt and I am frozen with fear and symptoms. I would loved to post your poem on my myspace with your credits of course. I am so trying to get the word out about this because I had never heard of it until time of DX . My friends are all new to this also and I am a complete train wreck (metally and physically)..
- By Poetessa
- Posted August 10, 2009 at 5:47 am
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Hi Cocopuff, I was where you are at a year and a half ago and I'm not much further ahead! The illness is a life stopper for sure and there's so many symptoms to contend with never mind the mental strength one needs to endure this emotionally!! And you are a mom of 5...wow!! That must be challenging!! Kids don't usually deal with mom being sick all that well because it's all about them!! LOL
You are more than welcome to use my poem on your myspace site, I have one as well but geared more towards my recording and film projects, you can find me at www.myspace.com/lesliecottle if you want to send me a friend request and see what I do.
I know you are totally overwhelmed, I know exactly what that feels like...TRUST ME!! Try not to let fear rule your life even though that's easy to say, in time the fear will be reduced and the ability to just learn to accept the symptoms and know that each one is not going to kill you is always a comfort!! I know I was totally terrified at the beginning but I had life threatening symptoms almost my entire life and they just never came close to figuring it out until I was a death's door, just so sick. Now at least I understand what is happening, I take my meds, I know what is "normal" for this usually and what is serious and when to do what, that is key.
I am happy to hear you have friends who are there for you, one of the hardest things when dealing with something like this is the feeling of alienation and loneliness, that was for me and several others I've spoken to.
I hope you have a good doctor who is taking care of you and your symptoms, that is key!
If you want to talk and or compare notes, I am here and there are many others as well on here who are wonderful, supportive and willing to share war wounds!
Feel free to share whatever you wish to in terms of what you are coping with, there are a few discussions on the subject here.
Wishing you symptom free days and nights!! You've found a great place for some comfort and reassurance... you are sooooooo not alone!!!!!
Hugs,
Leslie
- By CSIII
- Posted August 11, 2009 at 4:15 am
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Hello Cocoapuff, You have found a place with many sympathetic and understanding souls. This is a crazy disease. Although we all seem to be at different sages with various symptoms, we certainly understand your worries and fears. I was diagnosed about a year ago, but did not have it confirmed until a short time ago. Before that it was more a matter of it could be, but my doctors are learning about it, as am I. This group is great and I encourage you to stay in touch. I've learned so much from everyone. And have been encouraged in knowing that I am not alone in this. We may be few and far between, but we have each others best wishes and understanding. My best to all. Dale
- By Poetessa
- Posted August 12, 2009 at 2:02 am
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Well said Dale!!! That is so true about this crazy illness but even if our symptoms are not all the same there are many similarities between us and it's nice to hear from others that we aren't the only ones going through this, especially when far too many medical professionals just are clueless about it!!
Hang in there Cocoapuff and I'm so happy you found us!
Best wishes to everyone!
Leslie
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