Quitting smoking is soooo hard!

First of all I'd like to say I am very surprised not to see very many discussions in this group. Hopefully I can help change that =) Warning: Really long post.
I think all smokers hate smoking on some level. I know I do. But at the same time, I absolutely like it. Therein lies the problem right? I decided to quit smoking on July 1st. But let me back up a bit and say that I thought about thinking about thinking about quitting for a looong time before I ever set a quit date. I would roam quit websites and look on with jealousy at the stories of others who had quit. And after about 2 months of that, I finally set the date. The date I set was also the day the state I live in made it illegal to smoke in restaurants or bars, or really any public place. So I thought that would be good, I'd quit and no one would be able to smoke where I went. To help motivate me I made a list of all the reasons I wanted to quit smoking and kept it on the desktop of my computer and read it everyday. 2 weeks prior to my quit date I started timing myself when I felt the need to have a cigarette. I'd say to myself "Just wait 15 minutes for it" and then I'd make myself wait 15 minutes until I had the cigarette that I wanted. I did this to get used to what it would feel like to want one, but not have one. I started extending the times. Then I started rationing how many cigarettes I could have in a day. I started out with a big number that I didn't even meet in a day and then slowly cut it down by 2 each day. It wasn't too hard. After getting down to about 5 a day or so I went out and bought my gum and my patches. On quit day I woke up and chewed gum allll day long. The first day wasn't the hardest. At all. Neither was the second day. And here I have to say: The thing I never knew about quitting smoking was how much of it was in your head. After a few days I found myself having this constant silent arguement with myself. My mind would conjure thoughts like 'Just have one, who cares anyways' and then I'd think about some of the reasons on my quit list. But this goes on, CONSTANTLY. I felt like I couldn't even get things done because I was thinking about it so much. I stuck with it though. I got 11 days in before I caved and had a cigarette. Now let me say this, before I quit I never understood how someone could quit for a period of time, and then go back to it. That seemed stupid and insane to me. If you quit for 11 days couldn't you just...keep quitting? The answer for me sadly was no. I went out with friends, had a few drinks, and ended up smoking. After the few drinks I lost the silent arguement in my head, and gave in to the 'who cares' or 'just one'. I had been trying to avoid situations where I'd want a cigarette (like going out) but I think I just got too confident. Even though I smoked on the 11th day, on day twelve I woke up and didn't smoke all day again. I vowed even though I had slipped I would stick with my plan. Plus I'd spent way too much money on patches and gum to give up now, lol. Seriously though, I was/am incredibly determined to quit. Then on the 13th day I smoked again, and not just one a entire pack. Tsk tsk. The next day I woke up and vowed to myself again. I made it from July 13th, to 2 days ago. I've been under alot of stress (no excuse) and I caved in and bought a pack. And this time is worse than the other two times that I smoked...I don't feel like quitting tomorrow this time. I mean I do, believe me I do, but my addiction doesn't feel like it I guess I should say. But I'm going to. I read some of the other posts on here and saw the Njoy.com that barbietwin had posted about. Thank you by the way. And I'm planning on trying that. Even though on the site it says it's not to be used for smoking cessation...they have full, light, and non-nicotine cartridges which I am assuming is for stepping yourself down to not needing anything anymore. I'm excited about the njoy because chewing gum all day hurts my mouth after while. And I really liked the patches, however they occasionally (like 50% of the time) made my arm ache. Has anyone else experienced that? I apologize for this being so long. It's just on my mind. I'm ashamed of myself right now for going back to it, and by typing this I'm gearing myself up for another crack at it. Good luck to those of you who are quitting! Hopefully more people will post about quitting, or maybe be inspired to try and quit with me.